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A Song of Ice and Fire / Other Topics / Potpourri III

Next 20 Messages Newest Messages

Min
User ID: 9433023 May 7th 11:10 AM
I think the secon one will be full soon...

Jeff
User ID: 8506593 May 7th 11:46 AM
Lord Hand, I will be glad to provide you with a _copy_ of the relevant documentation, including the recent invoices and purchase orders containing _your_ signature, for your investigation.

Ser Gary
User ID: 8068153 May 7th 12:07 PM
In my wildest dreams, I never thought we'd end up going to a third Potpourri board. What, what, what...

What are you now, Jeff, a steward?

Min
User ID: 9433023 May 7th 12:52 PM
My Lord, the filthy Commoner made it from captain of the guard to master of the ships and now awaits a position in the small counsil. I restrain myself in judging that, as I would not dare to critizise our Lord Hand's decisions...

Min
User ID: 9433023 May 7th 12:59 PM
Flayed: I suppose Homuras is you brother? He should not threaten the nobles. I mean, we all know he has a temper, but still...
;-)

KAH
User ID: 9209903 May 7th 1:06 PM
Jeff:

Are you giving me a _copy_ of the purchase orders?

*snicker*

Say, that signature on the..._copy_...looks like a
really good _forgery_ of my hand writing. Did you do it yourself, or did you hire a professional to do it?

*evil grin*

One could almost be tempted to believe that all these 'copies' have been made by _yourself_.
Reasons for doing this are of course a matter of speculation, but I have every reason to believe that our most exalted _judge_; the honorable Claidhaim, can think of something. I shall keep these copies on a safe place, until I can have a chat with him.

*making magnanimous gesture*

This could prove very _bothersome_ for you, my dear Jeff.
I am, after all, still pondering what _subject_ I should pick for my future conversations with his honor, judge Claidhaim. Maybe we'll talk about idle subjects like the weather...or maybe we will find something more interesting to talk about!

But I wish you no harm...just hand over the rest of your...book notes...and we can go on with life as we please, in mutual understanding and respect.

Isn't that nice?

Claidhaim
User ID: 9544623 May 7th 1:07 PM
Really, threats will get you nowhere. If you want something, just ask. The answer may still be no, but it never hurts.

Min
User ID: 9433023 May 7th 1:25 PM
My Lords, My Lords, do calm yourself. We are all educated people, are we not?
If anyone of you has a problem with the Commoner (My Lord Hand, remember what I once wrote about vipers and bosoms?), he shall not fear: This problem will last no longer than the day of the duel.

Until then, do restrain yourself and listen to our Judge Claidham. To please a Lady.

KAH
User ID: 9209903 May 7th 1:56 PM
Oh, make no mistake, Claidhaim. I wasn't threatening _you_!

If you were referring to my admonitions to Jeff...those were not threats. Just a bit of friendly advice.

Ser Gary
User ID: 8068153 May 7th 2:03 PM
WAIT A MINUTE, HERE! Jeff "index finger" Baelish is now being considered for the small council? This is a travesty!!! He has threatened lords and ladies alike!!! Who sits the throne in this kingdom?

Claidhaim
User ID: 9544623 May 7th 2:14 PM
Actually, I was speaking to Flayed man. I think he should keep a tighter leash on his brother. No?

Claidhaim
User ID: 9544623 May 7th 2:16 PM
As to the literary work of Jeff, only time will tell what tale unfolds.

Jeff
User ID: 8506593 May 7th 2:29 PM
Lord Hand, since you contend my documents are mere forgeries, they must have little or no value so I think that I shall keep my originals. Anyway, if you have _never_ used your position to skim profits for yourself, the documents should be of no concern.

But I wonder why we must squabble. After all, it was I who assisted you in reducing labor costs for the Revanshimus in a matter most profitable manner and who opposed the High Septon's efforts to accuse you of untoward acts. Further, it was not I who invited you to explore certain dungeons accompanied by her guardsmen.

Given my continued restraint in _not_ publishing my notes, I fail to see why we cannot resume a more profitable and cooperative relationship. After all, my ships are even now carrying valuable cargo sure to provide plenty of taxes (including certain fees for greasing certain pockets) to all involved.

As to the upcoming duel, it would seem to me that one who is truly so confident of their eventual triumph would not feel so compelled to make boasts at every opportunity.

Flayed man
User ID: 1613614 May 7th 5:19 PM
My dear lady and lords <sigh> you must understand my brother... As you can see my father was back stabbed by Mace tyrell and when I came back from GJ's rebellion, My siblings hearing the loss of our father, they have not eaten for weeks they both clutching my legs and cried all week. Especailly my brother who lost our mother (Darlana Tyrell the youngest sister of mace whom they never talked and deneyed)and death of our father was the thing that made him hate the southers. Before that our mother always told story about south and summer isles and my brother Homuras was the one who loved the story until the death of our father by Mace tyrell.

After he grew up he was charge of gate of fools and collect the taxes from travelers. But when he saw the southerners he kept killing them especially the knights of south. (he once try to kill sam tarly but i stopped him)

But know this he is not a barbarian and he is a gentle spirit.

Min
User ID: 9433023 May 8th 4:07 AM
My Lord Hand,
as soon as I tore The Commoner to pieces, I assure you that you shall be the one who would be allowed to search his keep - and, foremost, his vast library... for whatever books and scrolls and writings a well-educated and literature-loving man wants to find there for his own use...

Hell-hole, flagship
User ID: 9433023 May 8th 4:07 AM
***Floating on the bottom of the ocean***

Min
User ID: 9433023 May 8th 4:09 AM
My Lord Hand,
My deep and honest sympathy for the terrible loss of your beloved nephew...
I truely feel with you...
I know what _that_ is like. I just lost my favorite hound on the account of the-Gods-know-who...

KAH
User ID: 9209903 May 10th 2:45 AM
Jeff:

Well...that the forgeries would be of no _real_ import is correct, but I worry that my numerous enemies might get hold of them, and use them nevertheless.

They cannot _prove_ anything, of course, but my reputation could still ill afford it. The lowly and feeble-minded always think 'no smoke without fire' and such nonsense.

So I would like the documents handed over...as a gesture of good-will on your part. Then our partnership can go on, for our mutual benefit.

Anyway, I do not demand a stop in profitable projects for this. I recently came up with a novel idea that would belong under your department. I have worried that the richer part of the population has not contributed sufficiently to the
small council's 'Pension fund for the mentally challenged'. Even the fact that it is tax deductible has not made these infidels grab deep in their purses.

I think we should invite them on a little cruise with some of your leisure galleys, Jeff. When the
passangers are well aboard and far from shore, you might whisper a word in their ear about the nobility of giving. For ballast on this little trip, I suggest you take with you this shipload of
concrete footwear. You can offer them to your passangers, and suggest that they give more...ah...balance, and reduces the risk of falling in the sea.

Min:

Yes, the loss of my nephew was a terrible blow.
I'm working on a law that will make swimming lessons compulsory for all those who play at cards, dice, or other forms of gamble. I cannot afford people weaseling away from their gambling debts merely by _dying_!

KAH
User ID: 9209903 May 10th 7:33 AM
BTW; it is my pleasure to announce Dirjj as the new Supreme Goon...ah, new Commander of the Gold Watch. May he serve the small council loyally, and without treason in his heart.

Dirjj; a few words in your ear.

*whispers*

'*Bzzt*...Jeff...*mutter*...make him trust you...*bzzt*...*mutter*...concrete shoes...*mutter*...good riddance...*whisper*...sea voyage...*mutter*...confiscate papers...*mutter*'

Ah, Jeff, there you are! I have just told Dirjj that he will accompany you on your little business trip with the rich of Westeros. He will see to your safety, and ensure that nothing unexpected happens. Know that you are in safe hands, my friend!

Jeff
User ID: 8506593 May 10th 9:36 AM
Lord Hand, I have appointed one of my more trusted lieutenants to command the leisure barge expedition. A brilliant idea on your part, I must say.

I heartily endorse the appointment of Duke Dirjj as Commander of the Gold Watch. BTW, did you know that Duke Dirjj is my second in the Duel and that he and I have had several discussions regarding our well-deserved appointments? In any case, you may have noticed the increased number of gold cloaks guarding my personal residence as well as the anchorage of the fleet. My close friend Duke Dirjj and I have concluded that the Master of Ships and Commander of the Gold Watch together command the only significant military forces in the city. By working closely together, we can ensure that order is maintained.

Oh, you also may have noted that a substantial proportion of the Gold Cloaks have received upgraded armor. Since my ships transport much of the Kingdom's trade goods and tax revenue, I took the liberty of expending some of these funds for the public good by increasing payments to the Gold Cloaks.

One more thing. Duke Dirjj and I have discussed the matter and concluded that both the Master of Ships and the Commander of the Gold Watch should be appointed to the small council so that we might better serve the Kingdom. Of course, this would give you two more loyal voices on the Council -- who together control all shipping and internal security -- that might enable you to craft new methods of raising, ah, revenue, from a variety of sources without outside meddling.

Next 20 Messages Newest Messages

Min User ID: 9433023	May 7th 11:10 AM I think the secon one will be full soon...
Jeff User ID: 8506593	May 7th 11:46 AM Lord Hand, I will be glad to provide you with a _copy_ of the relevant documentation, including the recent invoices and purchase orders containing _your_ signature, for your investigation.
Ser Gary User ID: 8068153	May 7th 12:07 PM In my wildest dreams, I never thought we'd end up going to a third Potpourri board. What, what, what... What are you now, Jeff, a steward?
Min User ID: 9433023	May 7th 12:52 PM My Lord, the filthy Commoner made it from captain of the guard to master of the ships and now awaits a position in the small counsil. I restrain myself in judging that, as I would not dare to critizise our Lord Hand's decisions...
Min User ID: 9433023	May 7th 12:59 PM Flayed: I suppose Homuras is you brother? He should not threaten the nobles. I mean, we all know he has a temper, but still... ;-)
KAH User ID: 9209903	May 7th 1:06 PM Jeff: Are you giving me a _copy_ of the purchase orders? snicker Say, that signature on the..._copy_...looks like a really good _forgery_ of my hand writing. Did you do it yourself, or did you hire a professional to do it? evil grin One could almost be tempted to believe that all these 'copies' have been made by _yourself_. Reasons for doing this are of course a matter of speculation, but I have every reason to believe that our most exalted _judge_; the honorable Claidhaim, can think of something. I shall keep these copies on a safe place, until I can have a chat with him. making magnanimous gesture This could prove very _bothersome_ for you, my dear Jeff. I am, after all, still pondering what _subject_ I should pick for my future conversations with his honor, judge Claidhaim. Maybe we'll talk about idle subjects like the weather...or maybe we will find something more interesting to talk about! But I wish you no harm...just hand over the rest of your...book notes...and we can go on with life as we please, in mutual understanding and respect. Isn't that nice?
Claidhaim User ID: 9544623	May 7th 1:07 PM Really, threats will get you nowhere. If you want something, just ask. The answer may still be no, but it never hurts.
Min User ID: 9433023	May 7th 1:25 PM My Lords, My Lords, do calm yourself. We are all educated people, are we not? If anyone of you has a problem with the Commoner (My Lord Hand, remember what I once wrote about vipers and bosoms?), he shall not fear: This problem will last no longer than the day of the duel. Until then, do restrain yourself and listen to our Judge Claidham. To please a Lady.
KAH User ID: 9209903	May 7th 1:56 PM Oh, make no mistake, Claidhaim. I wasn't threatening _you_! If you were referring to my admonitions to Jeff...those were not threats. Just a bit of friendly advice.
Ser Gary User ID: 8068153	May 7th 2:03 PM WAIT A MINUTE, HERE! Jeff "index finger" Baelish is now being considered for the small council? This is a travesty!!! He has threatened lords and ladies alike!!! Who sits the throne in this kingdom?
Claidhaim User ID: 9544623	May 7th 2:14 PM Actually, I was speaking to Flayed man. I think he should keep a tighter leash on his brother. No?
Claidhaim User ID: 9544623	May 7th 2:16 PM As to the literary work of Jeff, only time will tell what tale unfolds.
Jeff User ID: 8506593	May 7th 2:29 PM Lord Hand, since you contend my documents are mere forgeries, they must have little or no value so I think that I shall keep my originals. Anyway, if you have _never_ used your position to skim profits for yourself, the documents should be of no concern. But I wonder why we must squabble. After all, it was I who assisted you in reducing labor costs for the Revanshimus in a matter most profitable manner and who opposed the High Septon's efforts to accuse you of untoward acts. Further, it was not I who invited you to explore certain dungeons accompanied by her guardsmen. Given my continued restraint in _not_ publishing my notes, I fail to see why we cannot resume a more profitable and cooperative relationship. After all, my ships are even now carrying valuable cargo sure to provide plenty of taxes (including certain fees for greasing certain pockets) to all involved. As to the upcoming duel, it would seem to me that one who is truly so confident of their eventual triumph would not feel so compelled to make boasts at every opportunity.
Flayed man User ID: 1613614	May 7th 5:19 PM My dear lady and lords <sigh> you must understand my brother... As you can see my father was back stabbed by Mace tyrell and when I came back from GJ's rebellion, My siblings hearing the loss of our father, they have not eaten for weeks they both clutching my legs and cried all week. Especailly my brother who lost our mother (Darlana Tyrell the youngest sister of mace whom they never talked and deneyed)and death of our father was the thing that made him hate the southers. Before that our mother always told story about south and summer isles and my brother Homuras was the one who loved the story until the death of our father by Mace tyrell. After he grew up he was charge of gate of fools and collect the taxes from travelers. But when he saw the southerners he kept killing them especially the knights of south. (he once try to kill sam tarly but i stopped him) But know this he is not a barbarian and he is a gentle spirit.
Min User ID: 9433023	May 8th 4:07 AM My Lord Hand, as soon as I tore The Commoner to pieces, I assure you that you shall be the one who would be allowed to search his keep - and, foremost, his vast library... for whatever books and scrolls and writings a well-educated and literature-loving man wants to find there for his own use...
Hell-hole, flagship User ID: 9433023	May 8th 4:07 AM *Floating on the bottom of the ocean*
Min User ID: 9433023	May 8th 4:09 AM My Lord Hand, My deep and honest sympathy for the terrible loss of your beloved nephew... I truely feel with you... I know what _that_ is like. I just lost my favorite hound on the account of the-Gods-know-who...
KAH User ID: 9209903	May 10th 2:45 AM Jeff: Well...that the forgeries would be of no _real_ import is correct, but I worry that my numerous enemies might get hold of them, and use them nevertheless. They cannot _prove_ anything, of course, but my reputation could still ill afford it. The lowly and feeble-minded always think 'no smoke without fire' and such nonsense. So I would like the documents handed over...as a gesture of good-will on your part. Then our partnership can go on, for our mutual benefit. Anyway, I do not demand a stop in profitable projects for this. I recently came up with a novel idea that would belong under your department. I have worried that the richer part of the population has not contributed sufficiently to the small council's 'Pension fund for the mentally challenged'. Even the fact that it is tax deductible has not made these infidels grab deep in their purses. I think we should invite them on a little cruise with some of your leisure galleys, Jeff. When the passangers are well aboard and far from shore, you might whisper a word in their ear about the nobility of giving. For ballast on this little trip, I suggest you take with you this shipload of concrete footwear. You can offer them to your passangers, and suggest that they give more...ah...balance, and reduces the risk of falling in the sea. Min: Yes, the loss of my nephew was a terrible blow. I'm working on a law that will make swimming lessons compulsory for all those who play at cards, dice, or other forms of gamble. I cannot afford people weaseling away from their gambling debts merely by _dying_!
KAH User ID: 9209903	May 10th 7:33 AM BTW; it is my pleasure to announce Dirjj as the new Supreme Goon...ah, new Commander of the Gold Watch. May he serve the small council loyally, and without treason in his heart. Dirjj; a few words in your ear. whispers 'Bzzt...Jeff...mutter...make him trust you...bzzt...mutter...concrete shoes...mutter...good riddance...whisper...sea voyage...mutter...confiscate papers...mutter' Ah, Jeff, there you are! I have just told Dirjj that he will accompany you on your little business trip with the rich of Westeros. He will see to your safety, and ensure that nothing unexpected happens. Know that you are in safe hands, my friend!
Jeff User ID: 8506593	May 10th 9:36 AM Lord Hand, I have appointed one of my more trusted lieutenants to command the leisure barge expedition. A brilliant idea on your part, I must say. I heartily endorse the appointment of Duke Dirjj as Commander of the Gold Watch. BTW, did you know that Duke Dirjj is my second in the Duel and that he and I have had several discussions regarding our well-deserved appointments? In any case, you may have noticed the increased number of gold cloaks guarding my personal residence as well as the anchorage of the fleet. My close friend Duke Dirjj and I have concluded that the Master of Ships and Commander of the Gold Watch together command the only significant military forces in the city. By working closely together, we can ensure that order is maintained. Oh, you also may have noted that a substantial proportion of the Gold Cloaks have received upgraded armor. Since my ships transport much of the Kingdom's trade goods and tax revenue, I took the liberty of expending some of these funds for the public good by increasing payments to the Gold Cloaks. One more thing. Duke Dirjj and I have discussed the matter and concluded that both the Master of Ships and the Commander of the Gold Watch should be appointed to the small council so that we might better serve the Kingdom. Of course, this would give you two more loyal voices on the Council -- who together control all shipping and internal security -- that might enable you to craft new methods of raising, ah, revenue, from a variety of sources without outside meddling.