A mirror of the eeesite "A Song of Ice and Fire"

This is a mirror of the now defunct eesite ASOIAF webboard.

The discussions for G.R.R. Martin's awesome series "A Song of Ice and Fire" are now being held at: Current ASoIaF Webboard

You cannot post new messages to this board. Go to the Current ASoIaF Webboard for the most current discussions.

A Song of Ice and Fire / Other Topics / Potpourri IV

Next 20 Messages Newest Messages

Captain Dirjj
User ID: 9990163 May 14th 2:20 PM
Sink me, but it looks like another thread if full. Time for a new one.
*********
My Lord Hand. I understand your confusion regarding the application. As you know, Jeff and I are very, how you say. . . . by the book. We always submit documents in triplicate. I suppose you may have two copies lying around your archives somewhere, while the spies had the other. I have a sinking suspicion that the spies and your late Steward may have been in cohoots. Oh did I forget to mention that he came down with a bad case of dead? I think it's fatal. Easy come, easy go.

Did not Ser Gary accompany Homouris? If so, he shant be around for the duel.

ab

Ser Gary
User ID: 8068153 May 14th 2:31 PM
I went to the Dreadfort, but Hamouris (sp?) was busy getting his weekly flaying. I didn't want to disturb him, so I tiptoed out. That place is dank.

KAH
User ID: 9209903 May 14th 2:54 PM
I have every trust in you, my captain Dirjj.

I'm quite sure that the prisoner got fair treatment in our dungeons, and that his death was a most unfortunate accident. Anyway, I will see to that his possessions is sent to his family...
I hear he is quite rich.

BTW...triplicate documents??? Just when you thought your future would be carefree...

Min
User ID: 9433023 May 15th 8:02 AM
I do not believe this...

Saturday, the 22nd???
I thought it would be THIS Saturday, too.

Here I am, prepared to smash The Commoner to pieces, and we are delayed once more?!

Twice more, that is... For the 22nd, a very good friend of mine invited us (me and other friends from Cologne) to his birthday. He birthday. He lives 200 km away from Cologne, and sees us not too often. We're all going to stay there for the weekend, and there's no way I could move this...

I am SO sorry - here I am, ready to tear The Commoner apart in half an hour, and now I have to restrain myself once more... this is frustrating.

What about the 29th? Same time? If you all say YES now, I will keep that Saturday free no matter what, promised!

Jeff
User ID: 1578334 May 15th 9:26 AM
Yeah, and next time its going to be "the wrong time of the month".

29th. Fine. I've got family in town that day and am going to see an Indians game, but I'll be there. Just make it 9:00 a.m eastern instead of 9:30.

As I review the Board, it was clearly stated from the beginning that the duel would be on the 22nd. Yet, both Min and Emily were unable to understand the simple written word. No surprise, I suppose, as both probably had their faces buried in troughs while attempting to ingest enough calories to support their cellulite-laden caracasses.

Jeff
User ID: 1578334 May 15th 9:39 AM
Lord Hand, I gratefully accept your appointment to the small council. As Master of Ships, I should report that one of my scout ships has spotted a small rowboat about 20 or so miles out to sea. It is crewed by two rather disreputable and hairy individuals who may be related -- brothers or something -- and who are flying a small flag containing the figure of a flayed man drawn in crayon. My ship's captain reported a foul odor emanating from the boat as if the occupants had no understanding of personal hygiene.

Oh, he also reported that the boat seems to be missing one of its oars and apparently has been rowing in (very small) circles for days....

Min
User ID: 9433023 May 15th 9:42 AM
I ignore the insults of the Filthy Commoner.
Justice will be done soon enough. Let him enjoy his small wormish life as long as he can.

*************************************************
SATURDAY, THE 22ND, 9:00am EST, 3:00pm MET!!!
*************************************************

Accepted, Commoner!

Min
User ID: 9433023 May 15th 9:55 AM
OOps... there I said twentysecond again, did I?

Numbers just are not my kinda stuff :-)
ok, let's do this once more:

Young Herold
User ID: 9433023 May 15th 10:00 AM
HEAR YE, HEAR YE!!!

THE DUEL; LONG AWAITED; IS NOW TO COME!
JUSTICE SHALL BE DONE!

THE LADY MIN CHALLENGES JEFF, THE COMMONER!
THE KNIGHT GARY CHALLENGES JEFF; THE COMMONER!

THEY WILL MEET AT DAWN IN CIRCUS REVANSHIMUS TWO WEEKS FROM NOW!!!

COME AND ATTEND!!!

MAY THE BETTER - MAN OR WOMAN - WIN!

*************************************************
SATURDAY 29th OF MAY, 9:00am EST, 15:00pm MET!
*************************************************

After the Duel, a tourney and feast will be held.

Min
User ID: 9433023 May 16th 6:57 AM
Oh, by the way, my Lord Hand:
Some obscure person offered some papers to me lately. He whispered something of "importance", "proof against some high council-members", "mayhap the Hand himself involved", "selling them for some high person lately come to power", and some such.

He wanted twenty thousand golden dragons for the papers, muttering "great advantages" under his breath.

No need to say that I am a Lady of Honour. I would never even _think_ that my Lord Hand would be capable of anything that would provoce filthy tounges spread rumours. I am sure my Lord Hand is honourable to the bone. But I thought you might like to know that there are these - obviously false - papers around here, and that some people try to make a good price for it...

I want to assure you of my firm belief that my Lord Hand's vest is as white as the snow on Winterfell's roof.

Just thought you might like to know...

The Lady Min
User ID: 9433023 May 16th 8:22 AM
***stands quietly in the midst of the huge Circus Revanshimus. The rows are empty, a harsh northern wind toys with her hair.

Her palms are pressed together, her head is bowed***

When shall justice finally be done? How many more insults do I have - and does my loyal squire has - to take, restraining myself in order to follow the rules set by out noble Judge Claidham?

***opens arms wide***

Circus Revanshimus, you will SEE justice. In honour of the Old Gods. In honour of Revanshe the Creator.

Justice WILL be done!

***turns around and leaves the Circus***

... soon...

Min
User ID: 9433023 May 16th 8:24 AM
ha, I looove drama :-)))

Emily
User ID: 0847534 May 17th 5:30 AM
Nooooooooo......NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.......Not the 29th!!!!!

*Breaks into pitiful sobbing*

*Remembers that she's a feminist and hastily desists from pitiful sobbing*

The gods are against me, I will be unavoidably detained 150 leagues from the inter- er, Circus Revanshimus on the 29th. Oh what the hell, someone must have a internet computer I can borrow in Sussex. My Lady shall not be left squireless. And no more shall the fate of the Commoner be delayed! KILL! KILL!!!!

Jeff
User ID: 8506593 May 17th 11:55 AM
Lord Hand, the fleet -- and I would presume the Watch as well -- await your command with respect to those who seem to be spreading vile rumors without basis.

Capatin Dirjj
User ID: 9990163 May 17th 2:53 PM
*****WEEKLY REPORT ON KING' LANDING****

My lord hand, I am sad to report of the demise of our "fair" Lady MIn and her Squire Emily. Apparently, as the manner of death was a rather grizzley execution style termination of life, they had their heads chopped off, and put on the spikes of the city walls. Reprorts are coming in as I submit this report, and I promise you that I shall get to the bottom of this foul deed.

Also, there are reports of several tavern brawls, and rioting in the streets. Appantly, many of the small folks are betting on the outcome of the future duel, and with all the rumours of death and betrayed, the small folk are getting anxious. My men were able to restore peace to the city again, but I fear at grave costs. 2 score brave GoldCloaks have sacrificed their lives for the good of the city. Again, peace has been restored, but for how long, I cannot say. This duel must happen soon, or I don't know what may happen. I have thus, with the Small Councils approval, enforced a limited curfew for the good of the city.

That concludes my report. This 17th day of May. Gods Save the Queen.

ab

Capatin Dirjj
User ID: 9990163 May 17th 2:58 PM
ADDENDUM TO PREVIOUS REPORT:

My lord hand, my Lieutenant has just informed me that the two heads on the city wall previously reports as those of My Lady Min and her Squire Emily, were not them after all. Ha ha ha ha, in actuallity, it was two young men. After we shaved of their beads and mustaches, we were able to positively identify the deceased. I am please to inform that flyer are out at this time to inform the Small Folk that the duel is still on.

I recommend that Min and Emily frequent the Barber for daily shaves so as to avoid such confusion in the future. I mean, think of it, how many people are that scruffy?

ab

KAH
User ID: 9209903 May 18th 2:23 AM
Jeff:

I hope your ship's captain gave orders to sail away, and leave the two men in the rowboat alone.
Else I would have to put them in quarantine for a while.
After all, they declined my offer of a lifetime supply of soap. I'd rather not have them stink out the city again - we just had it renovated after the last visit.

Min:

I understand your concern about these filthy lies
spreading like cancer in the capital. Have no fear - I will see to that they end; with whatever means necessary. And while we are on that subject;

Dirjj:

I have come to a conclusion; the only way to be rid of the lies, is to prohibit the ownership of paper. From now on, anyone found with paper on his person, among his possessions, or in any other way that can be linked to him, will be punishable with death. I give amnesty to everyone who delivers it to the Hand voluntarily - but they better hurry!

Any sort of communication will now be made by cutting letters into stone tables. I request that the Maesters ditch their ravens, and start training condors instead.

Dirjj; put your men to it - I'll have the city scoured of paper within 48 hours.

Oh yeah - Dirjj; that insult you made started out quite subtle, but ended rather crude. Which is fine by me, but I would be a bit more careful were I you - entitling yourself 'Capatin' might give fuel to a few cheap shots from my ladies Emily and Min.

Emily
User ID: 7378223 May 18th 8:02 AM
Have no fears, Dirjj - my Lady is above making cheap shots and I am saving myself for the duel, in the hope that I'll be able to get a word in edgeways. And it's not as if we'd expect you to be able to spell, or to have any experience in identifying differences between the male and the female of the species.

By the way...which Queen were you imploring the gods to save? I was blissfully unaware of the existence of a Monarch of the Sunset Board. Obviously, with the Hand getting so out of hand (giving Jeff positions of power, indeed!) we are direly in need of a sovereign. Naturally I had thoughts of proposing myself for the position, once Jeff's demise releases me from the shackles of humble squirehood. Unfortunately I have a few problems to sort out first, such as a) my devotion to multi-party democracy, b) the necessity of having a few followers - half a million would do nicely, but I'd be prepared to settle for one or two (anyone out there any good at making shadow-babies?) and c) finding a hole big enough to hide in once Dany, Joffrey, Robb, Stannis, Balon, Renly's ghost and any other claimants to the throne(s) start looking for me.

Jeff
User ID: 8506593 May 18th 8:04 AM
Lord Hand, the captain did leave the rowboat adrift, though only after informing the occupants that they were going to keep turning in the same direction as long as they kept rowing the oar on the same side of the boat. Whereupon they switched the oar to the oarlock on the other side of the boat and now are once again turning in very small circles except in the other direction.

KAH
User ID: 9209903 May 18th 9:44 AM
Ahem.

Squire Emily, I see that you have plans for Usurping the rights of the just Queen of this board. I'm afraid I have to inform you that these ideas are bordering on treason (actually, they're gone _way_ over any borders, but I'm trying to cut you some slack).

There is only one rightful Queen on this board. Although she has not come forward for the coronation yet, this does not in any way allow for others to violate her rights to the throne.
[The name of the heir is to be kept secret (by the wish of the Queen herself) until she sees fit to be coronated. Further, I have been given all power to see to the realm's wishes in her absence.]

Especially discomforting is the fact that you speak up for certain outrageous ideas - multi-party democracy. Really!!! (but what else could one expect from a lowly squire?)

I assume the next thing you'll be proposing that the Plebeians should be allowed _equality_ with their betters (as if they could even grasp the concept), or that our godsgiven rights should be taken away!
*huff*

Well...hum...maybe I should not speak in haste. I, too, have once been young and inexperienced, and pondered making certain allowances for the lowly peasants' wish for the wild dream of representative democracy.

I once was on the verge of allowing the establishment of one party, and assume leadership of it myself. Then the peasants would be allowed to vote for me, and give them the opportunity to show their gratitude to their rightful rulers. I even had thought up a fetching slogan for the campaign:

'What the Hand takes in gold, he gives back by protecting the lowly peasants from themselves!'

Fortunately, I rejected the idea. The administrative costs would be huge, and I could find no sponsors. The proposal to allow the peasants themselves to finance this magnanimous project, was of course howled down by numerous populists. Well, that just goes to show how unsuited they are in taking care of themselves, so I decided to let the beneficial existing system continue on it's just course.

So, I guess I should not criticize you to harshly - everyone should be allowed to make a mistake or two.

Anyway, I can certainly help you out in finding that 'hole' you were looking for - I know just the thing for you. I can offer you a nice patch of 'underground' (and only six feet below surface - easy access!),enjoying a silent neighborhood (people tend to be rather hushed, and leave others alone), rustic environment, and a hired man to dig up an entrance every time you feel the need to stretch your legs.

I won't even charge you for this! I will just take care of your possessions (the hole is a bit cramped, so I do not think you will be able to take much with you down there), putting the excess money in a trust fund giving considerable interest, until you find it safe to emerge from your hiding place.

Yes, I know this sounds too good to be true, but I always watch for opportunities to help my fellow citizens.

Next 20 Messages Newest Messages

Captain Dirjj User ID: 9990163	May 14th 2:20 PM Sink me, but it looks like another thread if full. Time for a new one. ********* My Lord Hand. I understand your confusion regarding the application. As you know, Jeff and I are very, how you say. . . . by the book. We always submit documents in triplicate. I suppose you may have two copies lying around your archives somewhere, while the spies had the other. I have a sinking suspicion that the spies and your late Steward may have been in cohoots. Oh did I forget to mention that he came down with a bad case of dead? I think it's fatal. Easy come, easy go. Did not Ser Gary accompany Homouris? If so, he shant be around for the duel. ab
Ser Gary User ID: 8068153	May 14th 2:31 PM I went to the Dreadfort, but Hamouris (sp?) was busy getting his weekly flaying. I didn't want to disturb him, so I tiptoed out. That place is dank.
KAH User ID: 9209903	May 14th 2:54 PM I have every trust in you, my captain Dirjj. I'm quite sure that the prisoner got fair treatment in our dungeons, and that his death was a most unfortunate accident. Anyway, I will see to that his possessions is sent to his family... I hear he is quite rich. BTW...triplicate documents??? Just when you thought your future would be carefree...
Min User ID: 9433023	May 15th 8:02 AM I do not believe this... Saturday, the 22nd??? I thought it would be THIS Saturday, too. Here I am, prepared to smash The Commoner to pieces, and we are delayed once more?! Twice more, that is... For the 22nd, a very good friend of mine invited us (me and other friends from Cologne) to his birthday. He birthday. He lives 200 km away from Cologne, and sees us not too often. We're all going to stay there for the weekend, and there's no way I could move this... I am SO sorry - here I am, ready to tear The Commoner apart in half an hour, and now I have to restrain myself once more... this is frustrating. What about the 29th? Same time? If you all say YES now, I will keep that Saturday free no matter what, promised!
Jeff User ID: 1578334	May 15th 9:26 AM Yeah, and next time its going to be "the wrong time of the month". 29th. Fine. I've got family in town that day and am going to see an Indians game, but I'll be there. Just make it 9:00 a.m eastern instead of 9:30. As I review the Board, it was clearly stated from the beginning that the duel would be on the 22nd. Yet, both Min and Emily were unable to understand the simple written word. No surprise, I suppose, as both probably had their faces buried in troughs while attempting to ingest enough calories to support their cellulite-laden caracasses.
Jeff User ID: 1578334	May 15th 9:39 AM Lord Hand, I gratefully accept your appointment to the small council. As Master of Ships, I should report that one of my scout ships has spotted a small rowboat about 20 or so miles out to sea. It is crewed by two rather disreputable and hairy individuals who may be related -- brothers or something -- and who are flying a small flag containing the figure of a flayed man drawn in crayon. My ship's captain reported a foul odor emanating from the boat as if the occupants had no understanding of personal hygiene. Oh, he also reported that the boat seems to be missing one of its oars and apparently has been rowing in (very small) circles for days....
Min User ID: 9433023	May 15th 9:42 AM I ignore the insults of the Filthy Commoner. Justice will be done soon enough. Let him enjoy his small wormish life as long as he can. *********************************************** SATURDAY, THE 22ND, 9:00am EST, 3:00pm MET!!! *********************************************** Accepted, Commoner!
Min User ID: 9433023	May 15th 9:55 AM OOps... there I said twentysecond again, did I? Numbers just are not my kinda stuff :-) ok, let's do this once more:
Young Herold User ID: 9433023	May 15th 10:00 AM HEAR YE, HEAR YE!!! THE DUEL; LONG AWAITED; IS NOW TO COME! JUSTICE SHALL BE DONE! THE LADY MIN CHALLENGES JEFF, THE COMMONER! THE KNIGHT GARY CHALLENGES JEFF; THE COMMONER! THEY WILL MEET AT DAWN IN CIRCUS REVANSHIMUS TWO WEEKS FROM NOW!!! COME AND ATTEND!!! MAY THE BETTER - MAN OR WOMAN - WIN! *********************************************** SATURDAY 29th OF MAY, 9:00am EST, 15:00pm MET! *********************************************** After the Duel, a tourney and feast will be held.
Min User ID: 9433023	May 16th 6:57 AM Oh, by the way, my Lord Hand: Some obscure person offered some papers to me lately. He whispered something of "importance", "proof against some high council-members", "mayhap the Hand himself involved", "selling them for some high person lately come to power", and some such. He wanted twenty thousand golden dragons for the papers, muttering "great advantages" under his breath. No need to say that I am a Lady of Honour. I would never even _think_ that my Lord Hand would be capable of anything that would provoce filthy tounges spread rumours. I am sure my Lord Hand is honourable to the bone. But I thought you might like to know that there are these - obviously false - papers around here, and that some people try to make a good price for it... I want to assure you of my firm belief that my Lord Hand's vest is as white as the snow on Winterfell's roof. Just thought you might like to know...
The Lady Min User ID: 9433023	May 16th 8:22 AM *stands quietly in the midst of the huge Circus Revanshimus. The rows are empty, a harsh northern wind toys with her hair. Her palms are pressed together, her head is bowed* When shall justice finally be done? How many more insults do I have - and does my loyal squire has - to take, restraining myself in order to follow the rules set by out noble Judge Claidham? *opens arms wide* Circus Revanshimus, you will SEE justice. In honour of the Old Gods. In honour of Revanshe the Creator. Justice WILL be done! *turns around and leaves the Circus* ... soon...
Min User ID: 9433023	May 16th 8:24 AM ha, I looove drama :-)))
Emily User ID: 0847534	May 17th 5:30 AM Nooooooooo......NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.......Not the 29th!!!!! Breaks into pitiful sobbing Remembers that she's a feminist and hastily desists from pitiful sobbing The gods are against me, I will be unavoidably detained 150 leagues from the inter- er, Circus Revanshimus on the 29th. Oh what the hell, someone must have a internet computer I can borrow in Sussex. My Lady shall not be left squireless. And no more shall the fate of the Commoner be delayed! KILL! KILL!!!!
Jeff User ID: 8506593	May 17th 11:55 AM Lord Hand, the fleet -- and I would presume the Watch as well -- await your command with respect to those who seem to be spreading vile rumors without basis.
Capatin Dirjj User ID: 9990163	May 17th 2:53 PM ***WEEKLY REPORT ON KING' LANDING** My lord hand, I am sad to report of the demise of our "fair" Lady MIn and her Squire Emily. Apparently, as the manner of death was a rather grizzley execution style termination of life, they had their heads chopped off, and put on the spikes of the city walls. Reprorts are coming in as I submit this report, and I promise you that I shall get to the bottom of this foul deed. Also, there are reports of several tavern brawls, and rioting in the streets. Appantly, many of the small folks are betting on the outcome of the future duel, and with all the rumours of death and betrayed, the small folk are getting anxious. My men were able to restore peace to the city again, but I fear at grave costs. 2 score brave GoldCloaks have sacrificed their lives for the good of the city. Again, peace has been restored, but for how long, I cannot say. This duel must happen soon, or I don't know what may happen. I have thus, with the Small Councils approval, enforced a limited curfew for the good of the city. That concludes my report. This 17th day of May. Gods Save the Queen. ab
Capatin Dirjj User ID: 9990163	May 17th 2:58 PM ADDENDUM TO PREVIOUS REPORT: My lord hand, my Lieutenant has just informed me that the two heads on the city wall previously reports as those of My Lady Min and her Squire Emily, were not them after all. Ha ha ha ha, in actuallity, it was two young men. After we shaved of their beads and mustaches, we were able to positively identify the deceased. I am please to inform that flyer are out at this time to inform the Small Folk that the duel is still on. I recommend that Min and Emily frequent the Barber for daily shaves so as to avoid such confusion in the future. I mean, think of it, how many people are that scruffy? ab
KAH User ID: 9209903	May 18th 2:23 AM Jeff: I hope your ship's captain gave orders to sail away, and leave the two men in the rowboat alone. Else I would have to put them in quarantine for a while. After all, they declined my offer of a lifetime supply of soap. I'd rather not have them stink out the city again - we just had it renovated after the last visit. Min: I understand your concern about these filthy lies spreading like cancer in the capital. Have no fear - I will see to that they end; with whatever means necessary. And while we are on that subject; Dirjj: I have come to a conclusion; the only way to be rid of the lies, is to prohibit the ownership of paper. From now on, anyone found with paper on his person, among his possessions, or in any other way that can be linked to him, will be punishable with death. I give amnesty to everyone who delivers it to the Hand voluntarily - but they better hurry! Any sort of communication will now be made by cutting letters into stone tables. I request that the Maesters ditch their ravens, and start training condors instead. Dirjj; put your men to it - I'll have the city scoured of paper within 48 hours. Oh yeah - Dirjj; that insult you made started out quite subtle, but ended rather crude. Which is fine by me, but I would be a bit more careful were I you - entitling yourself 'Capatin' might give fuel to a few cheap shots from my ladies Emily and Min.
Emily User ID: 7378223	May 18th 8:02 AM Have no fears, Dirjj - my Lady is above making cheap shots and I am saving myself for the duel, in the hope that I'll be able to get a word in edgeways. And it's not as if we'd expect you to be able to spell, or to have any experience in identifying differences between the male and the female of the species. By the way...which Queen were you imploring the gods to save? I was blissfully unaware of the existence of a Monarch of the Sunset Board. Obviously, with the Hand getting so out of hand (giving Jeff positions of power, indeed!) we are direly in need of a sovereign. Naturally I had thoughts of proposing myself for the position, once Jeff's demise releases me from the shackles of humble squirehood. Unfortunately I have a few problems to sort out first, such as a) my devotion to multi-party democracy, b) the necessity of having a few followers - half a million would do nicely, but I'd be prepared to settle for one or two (anyone out there any good at making shadow-babies?) and c) finding a hole big enough to hide in once Dany, Joffrey, Robb, Stannis, Balon, Renly's ghost and any other claimants to the throne(s) start looking for me.
Jeff User ID: 8506593	May 18th 8:04 AM Lord Hand, the captain did leave the rowboat adrift, though only after informing the occupants that they were going to keep turning in the same direction as long as they kept rowing the oar on the same side of the boat. Whereupon they switched the oar to the oarlock on the other side of the boat and now are once again turning in very small circles except in the other direction.
KAH User ID: 9209903	May 18th 9:44 AM Ahem. Squire Emily, I see that you have plans for Usurping the rights of the just Queen of this board. I'm afraid I have to inform you that these ideas are bordering on treason (actually, they're gone _way_ over any borders, but I'm trying to cut you some slack). There is only one rightful Queen on this board. Although she has not come forward for the coronation yet, this does not in any way allow for others to violate her rights to the throne. [The name of the heir is to be kept secret (by the wish of the Queen herself) until she sees fit to be coronated. Further, I have been given all power to see to the realm's wishes in her absence.] Especially discomforting is the fact that you speak up for certain outrageous ideas - multi-party democracy. Really!!! (but what else could one expect from a lowly squire?) I assume the next thing you'll be proposing that the Plebeians should be allowed _equality_ with their betters (as if they could even grasp the concept), or that our godsgiven rights should be taken away! huff Well...hum...maybe I should not speak in haste. I, too, have once been young and inexperienced, and pondered making certain allowances for the lowly peasants' wish for the wild dream of representative democracy. I once was on the verge of allowing the establishment of one party, and assume leadership of it myself. Then the peasants would be allowed to vote for me, and give them the opportunity to show their gratitude to their rightful rulers. I even had thought up a fetching slogan for the campaign: 'What the Hand takes in gold, he gives back by protecting the lowly peasants from themselves!' Fortunately, I rejected the idea. The administrative costs would be huge, and I could find no sponsors. The proposal to allow the peasants themselves to finance this magnanimous project, was of course howled down by numerous populists. Well, that just goes to show how unsuited they are in taking care of themselves, so I decided to let the beneficial existing system continue on it's just course. So, I guess I should not criticize you to harshly - everyone should be allowed to make a mistake or two. Anyway, I can certainly help you out in finding that 'hole' you were looking for - I know just the thing for you. I can offer you a nice patch of 'underground' (and only six feet below surface - easy access!),enjoying a silent neighborhood (people tend to be rather hushed, and leave others alone), rustic environment, and a hired man to dig up an entrance every time you feel the need to stretch your legs. I won't even charge you for this! I will just take care of your possessions (the hole is a bit cramped, so I do not think you will be able to take much with you down there), putting the excess money in a trust fund giving considerable interest, until you find it safe to emerge from your hiding place. Yes, I know this sounds too good to be true, but I always watch for opportunities to help my fellow citizens.