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A Song of Ice and Fire / Other Topics / Life

Swithin
User ID: 0289604 Feb 15th 12:55 PM
Jeff asked "Swithin, you've hit the nail on the head. Do we want to lament our lost opportunities or our mistakes?"

We lament both, dear friend. Our dreams and disappointments really are what define us, what make us who we are. There is no one so fortunate as to see all their hopes come true, and this is a good thing. That would be a shadow of life. Knowing every detail, keeping it close, and being able to sing about your greatest disappointments is the only wisdom and greatest joy one can find. In that one finds one's self, and that's about all we truly have, alongside people who can feel our soul and share it with us, and the occasional leaf or sunset.

Ser Gary
User ID: 1523284 Feb 15th 1:41 PM
Remember the term "window of opportunity"? I believe opportunities present themselves at various intervals throughout our lives, and their individual durations are actually very short. We are either able to successfully take advantage of them at the exact appropriate moment, or they quickly lose their luster or perhaps disappear entirely.

In some cases, we simply need to realize that we gave it our best shot and move on. Then again, maybe there never really was an opportunity there to begin with. To dwell on lost opportunities and the possibilities thereof is counterproductive to having a meaningful life.

Shagga
User ID: 9022063 Feb 16th 0:19 AM
Its the difference between thought and action that drives us so insane... Shakespeare details this human dilemma very well in Hamlet... The desire in all of us to do what we want compared to the fear and choices we make.

Min
User ID: 0074284 Feb 16th 6:52 AM
You are so very right, Swithin. It is the scars that give our face profile.
Of course it's wonderful to be happy. But our losses are what make us grow. What make us what we are.

Living a love like you do, swithin, with so few hope for a future, and yet so passionate, so consuming... is there a point? Is there a point if the odds are so heavy against you, and if there might so much hurt result from it?

Oh yes, there is.

I did it once. Looking back, it was wrong. He was the wrong man. And the whole relationship nearly pushed me over the boarder to insanity. The hurt that came from it was indescribable. I cried through my nights until I spat blood.
I do not regret a single hour.
For these two years defined me forever. Shaped me into the person I am now, into the person you know. Drove me to decisions I might never have taken, had I lived a simple, happy life. Decisions that defined my life, my existance. I had to realize and decide what it was that made me special, what it was I wanted to fight for, for I had nearly lost myself. It was worth it. Well, _he_ was not, but it was worth it. Wouls I be there again, I'd take the same choices.

Hurts define us. Without them, we do not grow. I am grateful for every choice I had to take, for every slippery, winded path I chose to follow, and, yes, for every hurt, every loss, every scar. It made me what I am.

And you, swithin, are a great person.

Ser Gary
User ID: 1523284 Feb 16th 7:30 AM
Min, you obviously learned from your experience and it helped you to grow into a better person (as those who post to this board well know). But you just as easily could have gone over the edge over that doomed relationship. I'm guessing you had a strong support system in place, and its importance to your eventual well-being cannot be over-emphasized.

Jeff
User ID: 1536664 Feb 16th 7:53 AM
Sometimes, though, taking advantage of an opportunity is not the right step. Every time we choose to go after a certain opportunity, we are giving up whatever it was we had. Sometimes those choices are worthwhile and sometimes they're not. And figuring out the differences between the opportunities we should take and those we shouldn't isn't always easy.

Min
User ID: 0074284 Feb 16th 12:03 PM
I did not mean I always took the right choice. I just meant that I do not regret having taken the wrong choice. :-)

Jeff
User ID: 1536664 Feb 16th 6:39 PM
Hell, I regret lots of the choices I've made. But I don't dwell on them because I can't change them now.

Relic
User ID: 9308123 Feb 16th 7:02 PM
Really though if you think about it, there is no right and wrong. There are just different paths, some ending up in the same place. Like was said by Min and jeff, there is no use regretting. Being alive is one of the most confusing and overwhelming things i can think off. It is also without a doubt a tremendous "gift". As long as you have air in your lungs and blood in your brain there is always an upside to everything.

Min
User ID: 0074284 Feb 17th 4:34 AM
Swithin, reading that, I have the impression that your mood changed somewhat to the better. I would not say "good", but better nevertheless. I am very glad to read that. Though it could be sarcastic or fatalistic, too, but you're not that kind of person, are you?

Shagga
User ID: 9022063 Feb 18th 0:25 AM
It's the struggle of coming to grips with a life that we have inherited. It's never easy and it brings with it great amounts of sorrow and pain. The humans who I watch struggle from day to day to be free. In South Africa ideals and hopes are compromised because of the limitations of resources. Millions of people die of AIDS every year. People starve and children die. And in that is the salvation and damnation of humanity. The hardship of our ancestors goes unremembered, History a pale copy of what truly is. It is our doom and our hope. For the children will carry on in the achievements of all that have come before, while forgetting the love and the hardship that brought them there. For those that survive today will bring to their children a better future.

I Don't want to be blind.

Min
User ID: 0074284 Feb 18th 6:41 AM
This is what being alive is all about, Shagga. Striving and failing, endlessly. It is horrible, and it is beautiful.

Swithin User ID: 0289604	Feb 15th 12:55 PM Jeff asked "Swithin, you've hit the nail on the head. Do we want to lament our lost opportunities or our mistakes?" We lament both, dear friend. Our dreams and disappointments really are what define us, what make us who we are. There is no one so fortunate as to see all their hopes come true, and this is a good thing. That would be a shadow of life. Knowing every detail, keeping it close, and being able to sing about your greatest disappointments is the only wisdom and greatest joy one can find. In that one finds one's self, and that's about all we truly have, alongside people who can feel our soul and share it with us, and the occasional leaf or sunset.
Ser Gary User ID: 1523284	Feb 15th 1:41 PM Remember the term "window of opportunity"? I believe opportunities present themselves at various intervals throughout our lives, and their individual durations are actually very short. We are either able to successfully take advantage of them at the exact appropriate moment, or they quickly lose their luster or perhaps disappear entirely. In some cases, we simply need to realize that we gave it our best shot and move on. Then again, maybe there never really was an opportunity there to begin with. To dwell on lost opportunities and the possibilities thereof is counterproductive to having a meaningful life.
Shagga User ID: 9022063	Feb 16th 0:19 AM Its the difference between thought and action that drives us so insane... Shakespeare details this human dilemma very well in Hamlet... The desire in all of us to do what we want compared to the fear and choices we make.
Min User ID: 0074284	Feb 16th 6:52 AM You are so very right, Swithin. It is the scars that give our face profile. Of course it's wonderful to be happy. But our losses are what make us grow. What make us what we are. Living a love like you do, swithin, with so few hope for a future, and yet so passionate, so consuming... is there a point? Is there a point if the odds are so heavy against you, and if there might so much hurt result from it? Oh yes, there is. I did it once. Looking back, it was wrong. He was the wrong man. And the whole relationship nearly pushed me over the boarder to insanity. The hurt that came from it was indescribable. I cried through my nights until I spat blood. I do not regret a single hour. For these two years defined me forever. Shaped me into the person I am now, into the person you know. Drove me to decisions I might never have taken, had I lived a simple, happy life. Decisions that defined my life, my existance. I had to realize and decide what it was that made me special, what it was I wanted to fight for, for I had nearly lost myself. It was worth it. Well, _he_ was not, but it was worth it. Wouls I be there again, I'd take the same choices. Hurts define us. Without them, we do not grow. I am grateful for every choice I had to take, for every slippery, winded path I chose to follow, and, yes, for every hurt, every loss, every scar. It made me what I am. And you, swithin, are a great person.
Ser Gary User ID: 1523284	Feb 16th 7:30 AM Min, you obviously learned from your experience and it helped you to grow into a better person (as those who post to this board well know). But you just as easily could have gone over the edge over that doomed relationship. I'm guessing you had a strong support system in place, and its importance to your eventual well-being cannot be over-emphasized.
Jeff User ID: 1536664	Feb 16th 7:53 AM Sometimes, though, taking advantage of an opportunity is not the right step. Every time we choose to go after a certain opportunity, we are giving up whatever it was we had. Sometimes those choices are worthwhile and sometimes they're not. And figuring out the differences between the opportunities we should take and those we shouldn't isn't always easy.
Min User ID: 0074284	Feb 16th 12:03 PM I did not mean I always took the right choice. I just meant that I do not regret having taken the wrong choice. :-)
Jeff User ID: 1536664	Feb 16th 6:39 PM Hell, I regret lots of the choices I've made. But I don't dwell on them because I can't change them now.
Relic User ID: 9308123	Feb 16th 7:02 PM Really though if you think about it, there is no right and wrong. There are just different paths, some ending up in the same place. Like was said by Min and jeff, there is no use regretting. Being alive is one of the most confusing and overwhelming things i can think off. It is also without a doubt a tremendous "gift". As long as you have air in your lungs and blood in your brain there is always an upside to everything.
Min User ID: 0074284	Feb 17th 4:34 AM Swithin, reading that, I have the impression that your mood changed somewhat to the better. I would not say "good", but better nevertheless. I am very glad to read that. Though it could be sarcastic or fatalistic, too, but you're not that kind of person, are you?
Shagga User ID: 9022063	Feb 18th 0:25 AM It's the struggle of coming to grips with a life that we have inherited. It's never easy and it brings with it great amounts of sorrow and pain. The humans who I watch struggle from day to day to be free. In South Africa ideals and hopes are compromised because of the limitations of resources. Millions of people die of AIDS every year. People starve and children die. And in that is the salvation and damnation of humanity. The hardship of our ancestors goes unremembered, History a pale copy of what truly is. It is our doom and our hope. For the children will carry on in the achievements of all that have come before, while forgetting the love and the hardship that brought them there. For those that survive today will bring to their children a better future. I Don't want to be blind.
Min User ID: 0074284	Feb 18th 6:41 AM This is what being alive is all about, Shagga. Striving and failing, endlessly. It is horrible, and it is beautiful.