Disclaimer: Angel and Willow don't belong to me, they belong to Joss Whedon, WB, Mutant Enemy, and 'Grr Arg'. No copyright infringement intended, please don't sue.
Angel's Hope
By: Jessica Dubois
Angel dug his hands deeper into his pockets as he headed towards the Bronze. He had checked on Buffy, and she was doing fine. Besides, for once, it felt wrong to be lurking. He thought that maybe in the Bronze, he might not feel like such an intruder.
His eyes scanned the Bronze, as they always did when he entered, for any signs of a threat. He might pretend to be human, but he was still a predator at heart. A faint smile came to his mouth as he saw Willow sitting alone at a table. She was staring off into space, and stirring her drink incessantly. He slipped into a corner, and continued to watch her. The pretty hacker seemed almost... sad. Willow was the closest thing he had to a friend. While he might... feel for Buffy, it was impossible for them to be truly friends, especially with the Slayer/Vampire thing in front of them. Xander was a rival for Buffy's affections, which ruled him out, and Giles... Angel smirked. Giles was still wary of him, and worried that his relationship with Buffy would get her harmed, or worse, killed. No, Willow was the only one even close to being a friend to him, his first friend since he had been a boy back in Ireland.
He moved towards her, a smile coming to his lips as he saw how happy she seemed to see him. She sat up straight, a smile coming to her lips, and even from here, he could see the light dancing in her eyes.
"How are you, Willow?" he asked as she looked up at him. <She's so little...> He motioned as to whether he could sit, as he examined her face. She seemed pale, but her face lit up with a smile, as she quickly nodded.
"Good. If you're looking for Buffy, she's out patrolling." she told him.
<She seems surprised that I'm here. Doesn't she know that she's the only one I can really talk to...> Angel felt a smile curving his lips. He didn't know what it was about Willow, but he had a hard time being aloof around her. It was almost as if she DEMANDED he participate, and that there wasn't any way around it.
"I know. But vamp activity is pretty low right now. So she'll be fine." He didn't mention that he hadn't felt comfortable around her. "I thought that since Xander was away, you might like some company." He saw Willow's face explode in happiness. <What is it about that boy? He always seems to make her unhappy.>
"I could always use company. Especially since I rarely see you, and you rarely talk, and we really..." Angel felt another smile tugging at his lips. Willow was so... normal. It was nice. He noticed her look down, and he could sense the blood rushing into her face, even though he couldn't see it. And he heard her mumble, "And I really should be quiet now."
Angel chuckled softly. "It's alright, Willow. I don't mind if you babble. It almost makes me feel... normal." And it did. And that scared him. He wasn't normal, and never would be. He had to remember that.
"You are normal," Willow shot back at him. "In a..." Willow sputtered to a stop, realizing how silly her statement was. <So quick to defend other people, even against themselves...> "Ok, you're not normal. You're special, and you deserve to feel happy." Angel grunted at that, a discordant negative sound. He didn't deserve to be happy. After all he'd done, he didn't deserve happiness, or the second chance Willow was trying to offer. "You do," Willow insisted. "You're a great guy, and a great friend. You help people, and if it weren't for you, Buffy, Xander and I would probably be dead." Angel had been growing more and more uncomfortable as she went on, and couldn't help what he said next. It was pure instinct.
"Don't say that."
"It's true," she said softly. <No, it's not!> screamed something inside him. <You're cursed, and will never do anything truly good again!> "And I want to thank you for it."
Angel looked at her, all his guilt and sadness reflecting in his eyes. He had to get out of here. She meant well, but she didn't understand... "I didn't do anything." He glanced around the Bronze, while desperately trying to control the emotions raging through him. When he realized that he couldn't, he moved to get up, while muttering, "I should go."
Willow put a hand on his arm, and he turned to look at her. <So pure...> He thought, as the lights glinted from her hair. <Like an Angel... An Angel sent to torment me...>
"Angel, I'm your friend, and I'm always here for you. Remember that, ok?" Willow looked so hopeful. <I can't let her down... Even after all she's seen, she's so innocent... How can I not react to that?> He gave a quick nod, and headed for the exit to the Bronze.
He needed space, without the people crowding around him. He ended up on the roof of the Bronze. It was always tranquil there, even with the noise filtering through from below. He thought back to his conversation with Willow. 'Angel, I'm your friend...' Friend. He hadn't had a real friend in... centuries.
Perhaps... Perhaps this time would be different. Perhaps he could really have a friend again. It might be a futile hope, but then again, what else could he do, but hope?
Fin
