Disclaimer: The characters portrayed in this story and any other references to Buffy the Vampire Slayer are the property of its creater Joss Whedon, and its owners Mutant Enemy productions, Kuzui Productions, Sandollar Productions, and 20th Century Fox. In other words, these characters do not belong to me, and I am just borrowing them.

By: Taygeta

When I first met Angel, I noticed right away that he was incredibly handsome and I saw why my best friend, Buffy, was attracted to him. With his sharp features and seeking dark eyes and tall form, who wouldn't have wanted to fall under such a spell? I didn't, but it was out of my control to stop the inevitable from happening. It caused me to keep my screaming thoughts and feelings within me and never let them speak aloud for fear of hurting my best friend and for fear of hurting my heart. It was true, I was going through my Xander phase at that time, but even then, I knew it was a phase. Angel, on the other hand, could never be a phase. He was the first that I really, truly ever loved and he was the first in more ways than one.

It was instant attraction when we first met, like magnetism that made our souls join and mingle. We both denied our hearts that pounded faster than tempest-tossed rains and within all of this denial, a pain was felt within my soul that was too hurtful to describe. In time, Angel had become Buffy's, but every time our eyes met, I could almost hear his heart beating in time with my mine. It was almost as if he were sending, with every beat, a pulse driving message that silently cried out to the world, "Willow, I love you, too..." but glances fell with every glance met and we walked away from feelings left unspoken.

Still, all our running away, didn't make it any easier, it only made everything so much harder. These feelings weren't going to go away by themselves, and he knew it, and so did I. Be that as it may, Angel and I spoke not a word to each other.

There were times when we almost did speak, but there were always so many other matters occurring around us that we couldn't. Then, he came to my bedroom one night, to seek help for Buffy, and although nothing happened, but what was necessary, everything happened at the same moment. I invited him in nervously, almost forgetting that he needed to be invited before he could come. He stood close by to me and I could smell the scent of his cologne and feel his strong, tall form surround me. So close by, he had been, so within my reach and I in his, but we couldn't...at least not then and certainly not there.

Xander had found out that Angel had come to me in the night and to my bedroom and I had managed to reply jokingly, "Our is a forbidden love." Being Xander, he shook his head and smiled, but I guess he'll never know the truth of such a comment, and I will never tell him.

There came a battle, in the midst of the fighting, Xander and Buffy were separated from us, and Angel and I were left to ourselves. It was one of those situations where holding someone's hand was excusable, and we made that situation our excuse to feel Romeo and Juliet's palm-to-palm kiss. However, this affectionate touch only made our hearts beat faster and only made us walk, not to the library like we planned, but to some place were we could be alone, where talking could be done, but the latter at a very later time.

We arrived at his place, and before we could even open the door, the feelings locked for so long erupted in kisses of passion and desire. We finally pulled away and just stared at each other for a few seconds. I felt awkward, knowing I wasn't the most elegant person in the world. And I found myself comparing myself to Buffy and her looks and charms and I knew I couldn't compete against her, and then I realized as I glanced in his eyes, that he hadn't chosen to be with Buffy. He had chosen to be with me.

Our lips met again, this time slower and more gently than before. His touch against my skin was...electrifying. Thoughts of forbidden love and worries about my friends vanished with every kiss and every caress and before I knew it, I had fallen into his cloak of darkness and decided silently that going elsewhere was impossible.