Disclaimer: I don't own Willow or Angel or any of the gang. Mutant Enemy, Joss Whedon, 'Grr Arg' and 'Aw, I Need A Hug' do. No copyright infringement intended. No profit is being made.
Friends No Matter What
By: Jessica Dubois
Willow rapped her knuckles on the table. He was late. He'd PROMISED to
be here. Buffy was off patrolling, and since things were still pretty
quiet, she'd finagled a promise from Angel to meet her here, so they
could talk, and get to know each other. They were really starting to
form a friendship, and she wanted to meet with him under happier
circumstances, but he was over a half-an-hour late. She hoped nothing
had happened to him.
In that moment, Angel entered Willow's field of vision. He looked fine,
which went a ways to relieve Willow's worry, but he had a very grim
expression on his face. Willow's forehead furrowed.
"Angel?" she asked tentatively, as he arrived by her table. "Is
everything ok?"
He looked darkly at her. "No. Everything's not ok. I just wanted to say
goodbye."
"WHAT!?!?!?!" Willow yelped. Several people close by turned to look at
her, which made her blush. "What?" she said again in a much quieter
voice. "Why?"
"It's better this way. It's too dangerous for me to have friends. They
could become targets."
"But, Buffy..." Willow protested.
"Buffy can take care of herself. But you can't. So, it's better if I
just fade into the background. Like I used to." Willow's eyes rounded
with pain, and she tucked her head close to her chest. Angel leaned
forward, and brushed his cool fingers against her cheek. "It's better
this way." Angel said softly, then got up, and left the Bronze.
Willow's head shot up. "Angel!" She got up and ran after him, but he
had slipped through the crowd as if he was a ghost, while Willow kept
getting caught in tangles of people. By the time she got out the door,
Angel was gone.
Willow headed for home, dejected. Then an idea came to mind, and a
smile crossed her face. She'd be DAMNED before she let Angel give up.
She'd do whatever it took to make Angel understand that she was his
friend. No matter what.
*****
Angel sighed as held the mug in his hands. He'd hated hurting Willow
like that, but it was necessary. She didn't understand how dangerous it
was to be close to him. He'd tried to have a friend once, fifty or so
years ago. And he'd been killed, because of what Angel was... is. <It's
not going to happen again.>
Angel frowned as a knock interrupt his introspective. Nobody knew he
was here, except for Xander, Buffy and a few vamps he'd rather not deal
with at the moment, and Buffy was currently patrolling.
Angel opened the door, ready for anything. Or so he told himself. A
furious Willow was the last person he was expecting, and as such, she
easily got past him and inside his apartment. Angel sighed, closed the
door, and turned to face her.
He supposed that it had been wishful thinking on his part that Willow
would just accept his decision. She might be quiet, but when she got her
teeth into something... Especially when one of her friends were
involved. And she considered him a friend, even though that was a very
bad idea.
"Why are you here, Willow?" he asked. "We have nothing to say to each
other."
"You know why, and that's just a big lie," Willow practically hissed at
him, as she started to pace. Angel looked at her with confusion. This
wasn't the Willow he knew, although he had gotten a glimpse of this
creature before. It had been when Buffy had snuck off to the frat party,
and Willow had torn into him and Giles.
"I'm not going to let you just burrow yourself into a hole, and shut
yourself away from the world. You deserve to have friends, and I'm NOT
going to let you push me away."
"You don't understand, Willow. It's dangerous to be close to me," Angel
said in what he thought was a reasonable tone, but desperation and grief
tinged every word. "People around me get killed, no matter how hard I
try otherwise. It's not wise..." Angel trailed off, trying to suppress
the emotions that were raging through him. He'd never truly dealt with
his friend's death, and it was now trying to tear him apart. He tried to
suppress his emotions, but wasn't having any luck. A single blood tear
started to roll down his cheek. Willow was immediately with him. She
pulled him over to the couch, and sat down, pulling him down beside her.
He was so consumed with grief that he didn't even notice. She cradled
his head against her chest, stroking his hair and murmuring soothing
words, as he started to cry earnestly. His arms curled around her,
holding her close. He didn't cry as a normal person did, but his body
was stiff with grief, and tears ran down his face, catching in the
material of her shirt.
After about fifteen minutes, the tears slowed, and Angel pulled away.
There was blood smeared over most of his face, and his eyes had torture
in them. He looked down at her chest.
"I ruined your shirt. I'm sorry." Angel stood as Willow looked down and
gasped when she saw the big bloodstain that covered the front of her
shirt. Angel offered her a clean shirt. She took it and held it in her
arms.
"I'm not going to leave you, Angel, and I'm not going to die." Willow
made a small rueful sound. "Alright, correction, I'm not going to die
anytime soon." She looked into Angel's eyes, while Angel looked at
anything but her.
"I can't... I can't do it again, Willow. I can't lose my friends
again." She didn't understand. No one planed on dying, it just happened.
He couldn't do it again. Lose someone who depended on him.
Willow looked at Angel. "Angel." He looked at her, finally. She closed
her eyes, and composed herself. "No one every wants to lose someone. But
that's the way life is. You live, you learn, you love, and you lose. And
if you don't do this, your life is hollow. You have to take chances,
Angel."
Angel shook his head. "I won't risk the people around me. I won't-"
Angel stopped when Willow put a finger to his lips.
"It's my choice, Angel. Not yours. If I want to risk being your friend,
then just accept that. Because I am going to risk it, and nothing is
going to stop me. And if you decide to be stubborn, then I'm just going
to have to find another way to convince you. Follow you around. Bug you.
Whatever it takes. And if I get myself killed when I'm out alone at
night..." Willow shrugged. "That's my choice too." Willow looked
defiantly at him. She sighed. "The way I see it, you have two choices.
One is to accept that I'm your friend and that I'm not going anywhere.
The other is to try to shut me out of your life. And I'm not going to
accept that. Which means I'll do everything in my power, and more, to
get you to see that."
Angel looked torn. "Willow." His voice was filled with anguish. He then
came to a decision. It was foolish. It would get her killed, but he
didn't know what else to do. And he really would like a friend again. It
was nice, being able to talk to someone, without worrying about exactly
what he could say and what he couldn't. Angel nodded his head. "Alright,
Willow. We're friends."
Instantly Willow's somber attitude vanished, and she grinned from ear
to ear, and bounced on her toes. She calmed slightly, but still exuded
an aura of happiness.
"Great!"
"I should take you home." Willow nodded and headed for the door.
"Willow." Willow turned and looked askance at him. "Your shirt?" Willow
looked at the shirt still in her hand, then down at the shirt she was
wearing.
"Oops," she said sheepishly, blushing. Angel smiled lightly, and
pointed her towards the bathroom. She practically ran into it, and
slammed the door. Angel shook his head as he waited for her. This new
friendship was going to be interesting, that was for sure. And he had a
feeling that they would always be friends. No matter what.
Fin
