by Teri Leigh

Warning: Again, the management is just reminding you, this is a NC-17 story.

Willow quietly snuck into the Bronze. Her mind was riotously trying to convince her she was doing nothing wrong. < It's not like I broke in or anything. The door was unlocked. > She had realized after getting home that she didn't have her purse. As much as she hated doing it, she HAD to sneak into the Bronze. Her parents were out of town and her purse had her keys. Just as she passed the back door, she heard music playing softly. She paused, afraid of getting caught but unable to fight down the curiosity that had her mind screaming 'Who is it?' She carefully crept over to the staircase, hiding behind and peering around. < Angel > Why hadn't he heard her come in? He wasn't a person you could sneak up on. He was standing in the middle of the dance floor, slowly swaying to the music.

Willow felt her eyes start to tear as she listened to the music. Without realizing what she was doing, she began walking towards him.

Angel started as he felt a hand fall onto his shoulder. He had been so caught up wallowing in self loathing that he didn't even hear anyone approaching. He spun around quickly and found Willow standing there, eyes filled with tears.

"Willow," the word was like a gentle rush of air across his lips. "What are you doing here?" he asked in confusion.

"I forgot my purse. I'm sorry I didn't mean to spy on you. You looked so alone and the song was just so sad.." she reached out to touch him and he flinched away.

"Don't. You shouldn't have to touch me. You should even have to see me. I'm...I'm sorry. For everything," he turned as if to flee.

"Wait," she grabbed onto his arm, her hand sliding down till it locked in his. He seemed to both shrink away from her touch and hold on for dear life. "Angel, please don't leave. I've wanted to see you. I've been looking everywhere for you." She tilted her head down and Angel felt a wetness on his hand as a single tear fell. "I was afraid I'd never see you again. I've...we've all been so worried." She leaned into him, hers arms going about his waist as she clung to him in a fierce embrace.

Angel was torn between trying desperately to fight his way out of her embrace, or cling to the salvation he found in her arms.

"You've been alone for so long, Angel. Don't shut out your friends when you need them most. We....I need you."

Willow's words shattered his resolve. He crushed her in his arms, pulling her tightly against him and burying his head in her hair as he began to cry. How long they stood like that, wrapped around each other, comforting one another as they cried, neither could tell.

"How could you? How could you forgive me for what I've done? I don't deserve your forgiveness. I'm a monster."

Willow pulled away from him sharply and glared at him. "Don't ever talk about my friend Angel like that again," she said her eyes shooting daggers at him. "What happened was NOT your fault. You had no control. My god, Angel, why do you torment yourself this way? You're as much a victim in this as anyone else. It must be terrible having the memories of Angelus' doings trapped within you," she reached up to caress his cheek and he pulled away from her.

"Don't you get it? Angel, Angelus, we're the same thing. We're not two different people, we're one. All that happened, all that I did, that was me! I'm responsible for all the evil that was done." His voice broke in a sob as he finished.

Willow regarded him with solemn eyes and then reached down and took his hands. She very gently wrapped them around her neck. "Kill me."

"What?" he asked in an outraged whisper. He yanked his hands back as if burned by her flesh. "I could never hurt you."

"Angelus could. He could snap my neck or sink his fangs in and drain the life from my body. You said you were one, so do it," her voice was disturbingly quiet and eerily calm.

"Stop it Willow. Don't do this."

"Why? Am I right? You couldn't kill me, but Angelus could. Well come on then. Prove me wrong." She reached up and pulled his face down to her exposed throat.

A shiver ran through his body. He could feel her pulse pounding at her jugular, feel the life coursing through her, the warmth of her flesh against his lips. His lips gently grazed along her neck and his lips parted. His tongue slipped out of his mouth and began to trace circles around her pulse point. He pressed his mouth more firmly to her flesh and began to suck gently, his lips and tongue caressing her neck. She was right. He couldn't hurt her. As tempting as she made herself, he couldn't take her life, or her blood. His arms wrapped around her, pressing her fully against him as she pulled his mouth closer to her neck, moaning.

He knew he shouldn't be doing this. It wasn't right to be kissing and caressing Willow like this. He pulled his mouth away from her neck and looked into her eyes. It was just as he feared. Her eyes shone with acceptance and wanting. Her body was limp in his arms, her eyes half closed and passion glazed. It was quite a tempting picture. He leaned in to kiss her lips, wondering if the flesh there was as soft as that on her neck. Their lips met briefly, gently, before she pulled him closer, her lips parting. He felt the warmth of her breath rush over his lips as she gasped. She clung to him, her lips against his, her tongue lightly touching his lips before she pressed herself closer. She was offering him everything he wanted. Acceptance, understanding, comfort. < Salvation >

He pressed his lips more firmly against hers and lost himself in their kiss, his tongue caressing her lips and mouth. She pulled away to gasp for breath, throwing her head back and offering him her neck again. As he began kissing his way down her neck his conscience came roaring back.

"Willow," he said pulling away from her. "We shouldn't. It isn't right."

She sighed. "You're right."

His head fell as she confirmed his beliefs.

"This is trespassing and I have my house all to myself." She lifted his head and kissed him passionately. She began pulling him to the door as she said, "I've always wondered if my bed was big enough for two and tonight I'd like to test the theory." Angel stopped dead in his tracks.

"Willow, I don't know if that's such a good idea."

"You don't have to worry about losing your soul again. It can't happen the way we did the spell this time."

He shook his head. "It's not that Willow."

"Oh," her head fell and she suddenly found the floor tile rather interesting. "Don't worry about it. I should have realized you wouldn't want me when you can have Buffy. I know I'm not as pretty as she is and all. I shouldn't have said anything, I just thought you wanted me. Silly, huh?" she looked up at him after her mindless rambling was done.

For a brief moment she saw a sadness flicker across his features and then it was gone. He pulled her over to him and wrapped his arm around her shoulder. "C'mon Willow. Let's go to your house."

The nervousness really didn't hit Willow until they reached her bedroom. They had been silent the entire way to her house, though Angel's hands had caressed her each time he had 'accidentally' bumped into her. The only words that they shared the entire time was the soft "Come in" that Willow had issued him. Willow walked into her room first, Angel right behind her. Her eyes closed as she heard the door click shut, trepidation washing over her. Angel came up behind her, his hands brushing up her arms before settling on her shoulders. He removed her jacket, caressing her arms as he did. His hands then returned to her shoulders, where he began to knead the tension away. She felt herself relaxing under his massage. She let out a shuddering breath as some of her fear left her. She felt his lips at the base of her neck and she tilted her head to allow him better access. With the combined talents of his tongue, mouth, and hands, Willow was soon completely relaxed and moaning softly. His hands drifted down her back and to her waist. He began to delicately untuck her shirt from her skirt. His hands continued around to the front of her body, where his skilled fingers quickly undid her buttons.

Willow gasped as she felt the cool air of her room hit her chest and she realized that her shirt was unbuttoned. As Angel removed it, the fear started to creep slowly back over her. Angel caught her chin with his hand and turned her around to face him.

"Willow, we don't have to do this if you don't want to," his voice was barely above a whisper, his fingers stroking her jawline as he spoke.

"No, I want to. I really do...it's just that....well I'm..."

"Shh. I know. You've never done anything like this before. Are you afraid?"

Willow nodded her head slightly, her eyes downcast to avoid his penetrating gaze.

"What are you afraid of?" His hand slid down her throat, his fingers barely touching her flesh, but where he touched tingled as though it were on fire.

"I...I don't know...I'm afraid it'll hurt, I guess," she stammered trying to keep her train of thought.

He lead her over to the bed where he sat down, pulling her onto his lap and into his arms. "I won't lie to you Willow. It will hurt a little, but I promise to make sure you experience a hundred times more pleasure than pain. We'll take things very slowly, and we can stop whenever you want. Just promise to be honest with me? Tell me what you're thinking and feeling, okay?"

Willow nodded. Angel smiled and leaned forward to place a soft kiss on her lips. He pulled away and then kissed each cheek, her forehead, and both of her eyes before returning to her lips. The kiss started out light and gentle. He simply rested his lips against hers and kept them there. Soon, Willow squirmed against him and pressed her mouth more firmly to his, lips parting. His arms wrapped around her as he kissed her passionately, lifting her so she was straddled across his lap. Willow wrapped her arms around his neck and returned his kiss with more passion than she had ever shown before.

Angel's hand slipped down to the tie on her wrap around skirt and undid it. He tossed it aside and settled his hands on Willow's bottom, now covered by only her modest, white, cotton underwear. Willow kicked her shoes off, as she tangled her hands into his soft hair. She felt his teeth nip gently at her lower lip and groaned into his mouth, momentarily breaking off the kiss as she gasped for breath. Angel's lips traveled back to her neck and Willow groaned again, pulling him closer to her, unknowingly rocking her hips against his. "Angel," she moaned.

Angel pulled back and looked up into her flushed face. He had felt her hips rock against his and knew she was becoming quite aroused. He could hear the pounding of her blood. "Undress for me," the words were quiet, but he knew she had heard them.

Her head bolted up and she looked at him wide eyed. She brought her hands up behind her to reach for the clasp on her bra. Her hands were shaking so badly, she didn't know if she was going to be able to get the clasp undone. She felt Angel's hands cover hers, stilling them.

"Have you ever been naked with anyone before?"

Willow shook her head demurely. Angel pulled her hands away from her bra and brought them to his lips.

"Why not?" he asked, kissing each of her palms.

Willow shivered slightly. "I..I was afraid..I guess."

"Why?" his kiss had continued up to the pulse points in her wrists.

"Because I'm not beautiful or sexy like Buffy or Cordelia."

That same sad look that she had glimpsed at the Bronze returned. "No, you're beautiful and sexy like Willow. Come here," he lifted her to her feet and then stood. He took her to stand infront of her full length mirror. Willow saw herself standing there in her white cotton bra and panties. She felt Angel press against her from behind. It was odd to feel him there, but not see a reflection in the mirror.

He undid the clasp on her bra and then brought his hands up to slide the straps off of her shoulders. His cold hands brushed down across her breasts, baring them and removing her bra. Willow felt her nipples tighten in response to both the coldness of his hands and the heat that spread from his touch. He lightly cupped her breasts, teasing the nipples between his thumb and forefinger. Her nipples tightened into little red buds, her entire breasts contracting with his touch. His hands slowly slid down her body to her panties. Willow blushed furiously as she felt his fingers hook the edge of her panties and slide them down. He bent behind her, taking her panties with him until they pooled around her feet. She stepped out of them shakily and stood weak-kneed before both Angel and her reflection.

"What do you see?" he asked, as he stood behind her, his hands rubbing up her sides.

"I see me. Plain, boring, me," she said with an anguished sigh.

"Would you like to know what I see? I see a beautiful young woman. Her hair thick and straight, like fire, hanging down just far enough to brush invitingly across the tops of her breasts," Angel's hands followed his every word, starting at her hair and tracing down to the tops of her breasts. "Hair that frames an absolutely gorgeous face, with eyes that can pierce you right to the soul. Smooth, soft skin, and lips that particularly beg to be kissed," He turned her head slightly to give her a long, lingering kiss before turning her back to the mirror. "The only thing that makes you look any more ravishing is a good ravishing," he teased. "See the way your skin comes alive once you've been kissed? It blushes a most appealing pink. And your lips look even better when they're wet from kisses. Which brings us to this neck," his hands ran over her neck followed by his lips which gave teasing little kisses as he spoke. "This neck that could make a man beg to kiss it. So long and lean, curving perfectly into your shoulders." His hands ran over her collar bone and then snaked up from behind to cup her breasts. "Your breasts fit my hands exquisitely, as though they were made for them." He squeezed her breasts gently pushing them together. He ran his fingers over her nipples and felt them tighten even more as she moaned. "Do you like that?"

She whimpered an affirmative, as his hands delicately traced circles around her aureole. He gently pinched her nipples and she shuddered and closed her eyes.

"No, no. Keep your eyes open Willow. We're not done yet." Willow forced her eyes opened and his hands moved lower. "Look at how tight and firm your stomach is, like a finely crafted sculpture," He was kneeling now. She couldn't tell from the mirror, but she felt his breath brush across her stomach even as his hands slid over her flesh. She glanced down at him and saw him staring at the juncture of her thighs. She pressed her legs tighter together and her hands came up to cover herself.

Angel looked up at her and the two locked eyes. "Don't hide yourself from me Willow. You have nothing to be ashamed of," She forced herself to pull her hands away and they fell back to her sides. Angel leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her chest, just below her breasts. His kisses continued down to her belly button and then he pulled his head back.

"Look at your legs," His hand trailed down the outside of each of her legs all the way down to her feet. "You even have cute feet," He picked up one foot to examine it. When he set it back down, it was several inches farther than it had been, parting her legs a shoulders width. His hand started back up her inner thigh, stopping at her knee. "Well defined calf muscles, and so smooth," he pressed a kiss to the back of her knee, causing her knees to buckle slightly. She felt Angel's hand on her bottom, steadying her before it began smooth little circles there. His hands continued up her thigh with a teasing lightness. "Your thighs are so shapely, joining together at this little nest of red curls," his thumb brushed against her sex and she gasped. His hand cupped her, his palm covering her hair, while his fingers ran down the length of her sex. She quivered one hand reaching out to his shoulder to steady herself. "Makes one wonder about the hidden pleasures," he leaned forward and placed a kiss right above her curls.

"Angel," she gasped.

He smiled up at her, his fingers still sliding up and down the length of her sex. "Do you understand how beautiful you are now? You just weren't looking," He wrapped his free arm around her waist and pulled her to his body. She cradled his head in her hands as he leaned forward to press a kiss between her breasts.

"Angel," she gasped again. "You're going to make me fall over."

He laughed lightly as he felt her knees buckle again. He removed his hand from between her thighs and she gave a little moan of protest before he carried her over to her bed and laid her down.

She tried to sit up, but he gently pushed her down till her back hit the bed. She glanced down to find him kneeling at the foot of her bed. "What are you doing?" she asked as he lifted her foot.

"I'm not done exploring yet," he replied with a sly grin as he kissed the arch of her foot.

Willow's body shuddered with anticipation at his words and his actions. He ran his tongue across her instep. She dropped her head back onto her pillow, unwilling and unable to hold it up any longer. Angel's mouth moved up the outside of her leg to tease her ankle, nibbling and sucking his way up her legs. She felt his cheek nuzzling her calf, rubbing against it lightly between kisses. He continued that way until he reached her knee where she felt his tongue flick out and lick the soft flesh behind it. Willow moaned, her thighs quivering. He then worked his way back down the inside of her leg until he again reached her foot. He looked up to see Willow's teeth lightly biting her lower lip. He repeated his actions on the other leg, but this time when he had kissed his way back down, his hands ran lightly up the insides of her legs until they reached her thighs.

His upper body was laying in between her parted legs, his head level with her knees. He began his kisses right where he had left off, her knees. He kissed and nipped up her legs alternating between right leg and left. His fingers were moving as well, his fingernails tracing a path between the top of her thighs and the sensitive insides. His touch was so erotic and gentle. Willow hadn't noticed how far his hands and lips had gotten until she felt his fingers brush the curls nestled at the top of her thighs. That one touch was enough to jerk her out of her passion-hazed fog. Her legs shut tightly against one and other forcing him to remove his hands and lips from her body. She abruptly sat up. "Willow?"

"I'm sorry. I just...I'm not sure..."

"Do you want me to stop?" He asked quietly, coming up beside her and soothing her hair away from her face.

"Yes....No, I don't, I'm just...."

"Nervous?"

She nodded weakly. He smiled at her and leaned forward to brush her lips with a kiss. "Did you enjoy what I was doing?"

She nodded again, letting her chin fall to her chest.

He placed his hand under her chin and tilted her head until she was looking into his eyes. "We don't have to do anything you're uncomfortable with. I just wanted to bring you pleasure. I didn't mean to upset you," she saw his eyes darkened and Willow could tell he was blaming himself.

She leaned forward and threw her arms around his neck, kissing him. Angel was unprepared for her action and he ended up on his back with Willow on top of him, smothering him with kisses. Angel wrapped his arms around her and kissed her back with a ferocity Willow had never experienced. He rolled them back over so he was once again looming over her. He broke off their kiss and looked deeply into her eyes.

"Do you trust me?"

"You know I do."

"Then let me make you happy. I promise if you liked what I've done so far, you'll love what comes next."

Willow gave him a fleeting smile before she brought her lips up to touch his gently. His mouth descended on hers once again. He left soft, lingering kisses down to her throat. His lips had just begun to stroke her collarbone when he heard his name. "Angel?"

"Yes," he murmured as he continued to kiss her. She shivered as he found an especially sensitive part of her neck.

"One of us has too many clothes on," she said with a seductive purr as she pulled at his shirt.

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