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by Laurie Burcaw

"I am going crazy." Willow thought out loud. "There's no other explanation for why I want to go into that bathroom and kiss Angel 'till I can't breathe." She was pacing the floor in his apartment trying to get a handle on these new emotions. "I've always cared about him, but just as a friend right? I'm just feeling this because I'm lonely and I miss Oz. Yeah, that has to be it."

"No, I'm wrong. I have to be Willow is innocent and is probably as embarrassed as I am, right?" Angel was pacing in the bathroom after getting cleaned up and dressed. Feeling absolutely positive he was right he left the bathroom and found Willow sitting on his couch. She stood to face him and immediately he realized he was wrong. She didn't looked the least bit embarrassed or innocent. In fact she looked very much like Buffy used to before a hunt. All business. < That settles it! The trip to hell seriously screwed me up.> "So fell better?" Willow asked

"Yeah" he replied

"Ready to Fight?" Willow looked for some sign that Angel really was Ok

"NO!" He yelled. Willow was taken aback at the vehemence in his voice. "I am still not totally sold on you fighting the undead all by yourself. Plus I need to deal with all that's happened. My mind isn't clear enough for a fight." Angel sank onto the couch with a heavy sigh. "Not to mention the fact that I haven't eaten anything. I'm still to weak."

"Right, I forgot." Willow went to his fridge. "I got supplies for you after I did the spell and I have been replenishing them every week until you came back. Here.." She threw him a bag. He hesitated. "What not fresh enough for you?"

"No it's just....I still can't get over this new you! I thought the site of me feeding used to gross you out."

"Yeah well I'm definitely not the Willow you knew, and I'm sure you're probably not the exact Angel I knew either. So let's just start from scratch, deal?" She put out her hand to shake his, grasping hers he said "Deal."

After feeding Angel began to feel more normal than he had in a very long time. He and Willow were seated on his couch getting reacquainted.

"I've pretty much told you what happened here. Why don't you tell me what your trip to Hell was like." Willow jumped right in head first.

"Um, well it was pretty much Hell. The demon had more power than normal down there and took great pleasure in tormenting me with the memories of what he'd done to you guys. Also, I had time to realize what Whistler said was true. I lived to long in your world and actually believed I could be a part of it. Now I know differently. Unfortunately it looks like the only one I'll be able to make amends with is you."

"Ok, now I know you're not the Angel I knew. He never said more than 10 words to anyone at a time." He smiled "He never smiled either!" she said playfully. That made him laugh. "Are you sure you're my friend Angel? You're not acting like him at all." She started checking him for some sort of possession mark. Grabbing her hands he put her back in her seat gently.

"Yes, it's me. how can you be so comfortable with me? Why am I so comfortable with you?" They looked deep into each others eyes.

Willow spoke first, in a rare showing of who she once was, she whispered "Because I accept you unconditionally, and you haven't known me all my life so you don't expect me to be a certain way. With you I can be whatever or whoever I want to be." she looked away.

"Willow," Angel spoke as softly as she had "I never want you to be anyone other than Willow around me. She is the most caring and fascinating woman I have ever met." As he spoke he turned her face back to his and made her look into his eyes. "I don't want there ever to be any reason for you to feel like you can't trust me, Ok. Always tell me the truth and I'll do the same."

"Promise?"

"I Promise."

Willow moved closer to Angel " I want you to kiss me. "

"What?"

"You heard me. I told the truth now it's your turn."

God, he really wanted to kiss her, but there was still the Buffy issue. "Willow, I want to kiss you too, but right now I think is the wrong time. Our emotions are running high and I just can't."

She looked hurt for a moment then realized he was right. "Ok, but now I really have to go fight to work out this sexually energy." She jumped up and was out the door before Angel came to grips with what he just heard coming out of her mouth.

***

Willow was drawing out victim #2 by the time Angel finally found her. She was just leaving the Bronze with a fairly powerful vampire nibbling on her neck.

"So, you think you can show me a good time then do you?" Willow asked her companion. "Well I know I can show you something you've never seen before." He replied cockily.

Pulling his face up to hers Willow said " Then show me, " and kissed him savagely. Angel was about to step in when he turned to dust.

"Sure took you long enough " Willow said without turning. Angel was flabbergasted. Jaw hanging he managed to stutter " How...?"

"I told you I needed to work off sexual energy so I am. " She said without compunction.

"But, I mean, " getting angry he grabbed her by the shoulders turning her, and was hard pressed controlling his own demon. " Do you know how dangerously stupid that was?!"

"Angel, I'm a big girl now. I kill three or four like him every night. I hope you can believe me when I say I have been doing this for the past three months and I know what I can and cannot handle. Him, I could handle." <Oh and what I wouldn't give to handle you! Willow stop it! Bad girl!> Shaking herself out of it she gently removed herself from Angel's grasp before she did some thing he'd regret.

"Angel let's go back to my place and hopefully by then you'll be ready to listen."

Back at Willow's

"So are you ready to hear what I know about Vashna?" she asked from her kitchen where she'd gotten some food for her and blood for him (she'd picked it up before hunting).

Angel was sitting uncomfortably on her couch. " I think so..." he said with a grimace as she nonchalantly handed him the blood.

Noticing his face Willow reassured him, " Angel, we agreed remember no more secrets. I can deal with you being a vampire and after 240+ years I would think you could too. Vashna is our best shot at finding Buffy. All sorcerers are allowed one wish. My will be to find Buffy, but in order to ask for my wish to be granted We'll have to find this spell that will allow me to call Vashna forth."

"Are you sure that you are strong enough to cast this spell?" Angel asked with trepidation

"It will be a cake walk compared to getting you out of hell. I just hope that we can find the spell in time. Do you know where we should we look? I've looked through all Giles' books and on the internet but haven't found anything yet."

"The only place that I ever read anything about Vashna was in Paris in the Louvre's archives."

"Then it's off to Paris we go. You don't have an aversion ot being my dead brother do you? It'll make travel plans so much easier!" She said with a jab and smirk

"Ha! Ha!, sigh, I guess if it's the only way. I do so hate coffins though, can we get a deluxe?" He replied getting used to her playfullness

"I guess, you're the one who's paying after all." She said on her way to the computer to make reservations

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