Confirmed Fears

Here I hold her parchment scrolls
In shaking trembling palm
I looked upon what wasn’t mine
And now destroyed my calm

Pretended long I didn’t see
I never even knew
But now those false naïve’s are gone
And walls built, now are slew

They bathed themselves in innocence
And spoke not of their harm
I couldn’t stop my steady gaze
That spurred their glowing charm

And so I read what was not mine
I’d never meant to see
But now I know my fears are true
No longer innocent be

She feels as I could only dream
My wants and needs are hers
But though I know, I’ll not let on
I’d ever read her verse

For if I ever was to act,
Then she would do the same
And walls I’ve built would crumble down
With love We would not feign

I can not have what heart desires
I will not let that be
For if I am a part of her,
She too is part of me

And while in her I’ll grow and thrive
My darkened heart shall heal,
She too would be inside of me
And feel now as I feel

And that for me is worse than death
To twist her heart’s sweet smile
A change it into one of mine
No longer to beguile

So though I’ve crossed a sacred trust,
I’ll pay with what I know
And keep it hid ‘til end of time
To keep her gentle glow

And let it eat away my soul
Or let it tempt my heart
But never will it leave my mouth
And turn her to my part

For unperturbed I’ll leave her be
Her face’s light left shone
And brave this peril by my self
And love her, on my own.

Bardic
January, 1998