Disclaimer: The characters Xena, Gabrielle, Joxer (yeah he's in here, but not a lot), and Argo are the property of MCA/Universal and Reniassance Pictures. And actually part of the story is theirs too, but no copyright infringement was intended. January 1998.
*SPOILER WARNING!*: This story takes part within Been There, Done That. So if you haven't seen that episode yet, you might want to skip this. But if you don't mind having the episode spoiled, then by all means continue. There are brief mentions of other Xena episodes-The Furies, The Quest, Is There A Doctor In The House?, and Callisto.
Subtext Warning: Yeah there's subtext here. But it's not anything graphic. Actually that's left more for the violence.
Tissue Warning: Hey if I was close to bawling when I started writing this, then there's a good chance you will be too. You have been warned!
Xena shoved roughly at the two combatants. The sudden movements caused the men's swords to lower. The warrior then turned and punched each man soundly in the face, knocking them out. She looked up to see which way Gabrielle had taken Joxer. "Not the alley." Having lived through this particular day three times before, Xena knew that there was about to be another argument in the alley her friends had just entered. She darted through the crowd in the direction of her companions. She had just rounded the corner when she heard Gabrielle.
"Joxer, no!"
Gabrielle was several feet away from her, but she could easily see that one of the men had stabbed her in the stomach. Most of the blade protruded from her back, stopping short of impaling Joxer who stood some distance behind the bard.
"Gabrielle!"
Time seemed to move in slow motion as the man withdrew his sword and Gabrielle crumpled to the ground. Joxer somehow managed to catch her and he cradled her head in his lap as Xena rushed toward them. She knelt beside Gabrielle and pulled her young lover into her arms, just as the light faded from her green eyes.
The warrior looked back to the young man kneeling beside them. "It's all right Joxer." She glanced back down to Gabrielle. "It has to be." But Xena knew that just because the day had repeated three times already, that it would again. She looked back up and around at the crowd gathered. She had to find someplace to take Gabrielle.
A man carrying a small bag pushed his way through the crowd. One look to the young woman cradled in the other woman's arms, and he knew that it was too late. He stepped forward anyway and spoke quietly. "I'm the healer. You can bring your friend to my place."
Xena nodded mutely at him and carefully gathered Gabrielle into her arms. Both the healer and Joxer moved to try and take the young woman, but an icy glare from the warrior's blue eyes stopped them.
"This way." said the healer, and he cleared a way through the crowd for the strangers. Xena carried Gabrielle carefully as though the younger woman might still be able to feel pain. Joxer followed her, tears streaming down his narrow face.
When Xena entered the Healer's home, she remembered being there on her first time through this day. She and Gabrielle had brought Joxer there after he had died in much the same way as the bard.
Xena put Gabrielle on the table keeping her in a sitting position until she had a cloth to place under her back for the exit wound. Then she laid her back carefully. She turned to Joxer who was standing beside her.
"Joxer. Go and make sure that Argo has been shod. Gather our things and set up camp outside the village. Then collect some wood. Enough...." she let the thought trail off, knowing he would understand what she meant.
"Right." said Joxer. He briefly clasped Gabrielle's hand before heading back out the door.
The healer had brought over a bowl of water and some rags. He was about to begin cleaning up around the wound on Gabrielle, when a hand grabbed is wrist in a tight grip. He looked back up to the warrior woman.
"I'll take care of her. Just bring me something to wrap her in."
He nodded and moved over to his shelves of supplies. He gathered up some material and looked back to the warrior for her approval before bringing it to the table. He laid it at Gabrielle's feet.
"Could you leave us alone please?" asked Xena.
"Sure." The healer turned and left the room.
Xena took the damp rag and gently cleaned the blood from Gabrielle's mouth and then stomach. She picked up the needle that the healer had brought to the table, already threaded.
As she closed the wound, Xena couldn't help but remember when she had lost Gabrielle before in Thessaly. She wished that she could revive Gabrielle now as she had then, but the damage that the sword had caused had been to great.
Once both wounds had received the same attention, Xena sat down on a nearby stool. She reached out and lightly caressed the bard's face, trying to ignore how cool her skin felt. Xena recalled what Gabrielle had thought when she had died.
"There are two kinds of tears. Tears for those who leave you. And tears for those you never let go. We will be together again. Even if this day doesn't repeat again, I will make sure of it. I will do my best to keep my promise not to become a monster."
The warrior leaned over and kissed Gabrielle lightly on the cheek. She rose and gathered the wraps. She took a long look at her lover's body. Wiping the tears from her face, she then began the final preparations for Gabrielle.
When she reached Gabrielle's shoulders, Xena paused in her work. She gazed for a long moment at her lover's face, absently running her finger's through the bard's red gold hair. She returned to her work and finished just as Joxer and the healer returned.
"Uhm. Everything's ready. And Argo's outside." "Thank you Joxer."
"I have a litter ready that you can use." said the healer. "I just came in to get some ropes to secure it."
"That won't be necessary." Xena replied. "I'll carry her on the horse with me." She wanted to hold her lover one last time. Xena gathered Gabrielle into her arms and carried her outside to the waiting mare.
Argo seemed to realize what had happened. She sniffed once at them, and without waiting for her mistress' command knelt on the ground in front of them. This brought a small smile to the warrior's face as she easily mounted her steed.
When the horse had carefully stood, Joxer took her reins and led the small group out of the village.
Joxer had set up camp beside the lake just outside the village, with the funeral pyre by the water's edge. Argo came to a stop right beside it, repeating her actions from the village. Xena carefully laid Gabrielle atop the pyre.
"I got her staff." said Joxer. "Do you want to place it with her?"
Xena took the bard's weapon in her hands. She studied it for a long moment before answering. "No. There's something else that would be more appropriate." She searched through the scrolls in the saddlebag that Gabrielle usually kept them in, and finally found a blank one. With that and the bard's quill and ink in her hand, Xena knelt by a large flat rock and wrote a brief message to her partner.
"I love you Gabrielle. I always have and I always will."
Xena and Joxer stood in silence for a long moment watching the pyre burn. The sun had set, but even with the fire Xena felt as though the light was gone forever. And as far as she was concerned it would be if the day didn't repeat again.
"You know." said Joxer quietly, "I would have done anything for her."
Xena continued to stare unseeing into the fire. "I know."
"She reminded me of a goddess with her red golden hair, bright green eyes, and her sweet voice." He paused for a long moment. "It's my fault. I should have been the one to die."
Xena turned to him. "Joxer. Gabrielle wouldn't think that it was your fault, and I don't either."
"But it is." he insisted. "If I hadn't tried to breakup that fight, the Gabrielle would still be alive."
Both were silent for a moment, then Joxer spoke again.
"Who am I kidding. I'm no warrior." He started removing his armor. "What good is all of this stuff if I can't even protect the woman I claim to love?" He threw his weapons on the ground. "What good am I?" Joxer turned and stalked off into the darkness.
Xena knew that she should go after him, but she also felt he needed sometime to himself. Still she didn't like the way he had just acted. The warrior walked over to Argo. "Go keep an eye on him for me."
The mare knickered softly and disappeared into the darkness.
Picking up Gabrielle's staff, Xena sat down on her bedroll which she had placed near a log. She leaned back against the log as she studied the markings on the staff indicating that it belonged to the Queen of the Amazons, in the diminishing light from the fire. The pyre was mostly gone now, but the warrior pretended not to notice.
Xena knew that she had to be prepared for whatever was to come with the sunrise. Knowing that Gabrielle could hear her thoughts, she detailed her plans to her partner as though she were sitting beside her. If the day repeated she had to keep Gabrielle, Joxer, and Argo alive. And find a way to end this loop before it drove her as crazy as when Ares had the Furies punish her.
If it didn't repeat, then Xena knew she had to go to the Amazons and tell Ephiny that she was now the queen. Laying aside the staff, Xena picked up one of Gabrielle's scrolls. She would also go to the Academy for Bards in Athens. *Other bards should have a chance to enjoy and learn from your scrolls.*
The hardest part was going to be the trip to Poteidaia to tell Gabrielle's family. She could already hear in mind Herodotus' and Hecuba's accusations. How it was her fault that Gabrielle, and even Perdicas, were dead. That they would be happily married and starting their own family. Somewhere in the back of her mind she could hear Gabrielle's voice arguing against them. But the shouts from her family were drowning her partner out.
A rooster crowed signaling the start of a new day. Xena hadn't realized that she had fallen asleep, until she opened her eyes and saw that she was back in the stables. She raised up slightly and reached into the pile of hay that was next to her. Her hand touched warm soft skin, and she heard a sleepy groan from Gabrielle. Rising quickly to her feet, Xena reached through the straw and pulled the surprised bard up and into her arms.
In her joy at having Gabrielle alive again, Xena had momentarily forgotten that Joxer would be there until he opened the door. Seeing the two women hugging he rushed forward saying "Group hug!" and grabbed both of them in his arms.
"Get off me Joxer." growled Gabrielle. "That's enough, Joxer." said Xena.
He released his hold and backed away. The warrior and bard separated only to have Joxer grab them both again. Xena hit him hard enough to propel him backwards, sending him right below the loft. The horseshoe had fallen, just as she knew it would, and struck him in the head. The combination of hits sent him to the ground.
The stable boy had appeared above in the loft. "Sweet Equestra. I hope I didn't hit anything."
"Nothing important." answered Gabrielle.
Relieved, the boy had disappeared again, and Xena took the opportunity to pull Gabrielle back to her for a kiss. She silently made plans to loose their traveling companion for the evening.