Announcer: When we last left "The WENN Files," Sherwood was beginning to put his master plan to win Roberts over with to work. Did he decide to put "the master plan" into motion? Tune in now to "The WENN Files."
Roberts: (rummaging in file drawers) Sherwood? Sherwood? I don't see any letters anywhere?
Announcer: Meanwhile, in the storage closet, Sherwood is donning his Victor disguise.
Sherwood: Okay, I've got the Victor Comstock look-a-like bald cap™, the lifts in my shoes to make me five inches taller, and a trenchcoat to cover up my clothes. (He reaches towards a fedora on the desk) Hmm. Maybe I should skip the hat...I want to show off my bald spot! I wouldn't want to be mistaken for Jeff or anyone else. (He takes a woobly step towards the door) Yikes. Now I know why I never wear heels.
Announcer: After becoming accustomed to his new height, Sherwood finally got to the writer's room door.
Roberts: Sherwood? I looked through all of the file drawers and-- (The door slams shut. She walks over and jiggles the handle uselessly.) Sherwood! This isn't funny! Let me out!
Announcer: Meanwhile, out in the hallway, Sherwood was waiting for Maple to get her costumary glass of water during her break. But someone else was coming down the hallway...
Assistant Director Comstock: Sherwood? What are you doing in that--that getup?
Sherwood: (whirls around startled) Assistant Director Comstock? What are you doing here? I thought you were at lunch with--
Assistant Director Comstock: My lunch was canceled.
Roberts: (muffled shout) Sherwood! Let me out!
Assistant Director Comstock: Is Roberts locked in there?
Sherwood: It looks that way. (He reaches over, unlocks the door, and opens it.) Roberts? Are you in there?
Roberts: (Exiting writer's room) Of course I am. Sherwood, what are you wearing?
Sherwood: Oh. This is...my new Halloween costume. It's all the rage now to dress up like your favorite WENN Files character and I admire Assistant Director Comstock so much that I thought I'd dress like him this year.
Roberts: Sure. Well, Assistant Director Comstock, we still have a show to put on, so we'll be leaving now. (sternly) Sherwood, back to the storage closet! Now!
Announcer: While our two agents make their way back to the storage closet, Assistant Director Comstock has a few words to say.
Assistant Director Comstock: If you would like to purchase a WENN Files character Halloween costume, please send $39.95 to WENN 1313 Radio Lane Pittsburgh, PA. Each costume is hand-sewn and costume fit to you! They will only be available for a limited time...so act now!
Sherwood: Hey! That was suppose to be my promo!
Roberts: Well that's what you get when you mess with the AD. Let's move on to the next question.
Sherwood: Mallory Bolduc of Fort Worth, Texas asks, "Why hasn't Doug been back, Roberts? He's much cooler than Sherwood OR Comstock!"
Roberts: Oh Doug! Well if it had been then.
Sherwood: When?
Roberts: Another time.
Sherwood: Okay. On to yet another question from our already full mailbag. Susan writes, "So Roberts, do you think Asst. Director Cornstalk should've hit Sherwood? Do you think what Cornstalk did was a bit brash?" Well, Roberts?
Roberts: Assistant Director Cornstalk? She must related to Mr. Abernathy. Well, let me see. I feel that Comstock acted quite appropriately, given the situation. I mean, Sherwood basically stole his job. He had to do something...and Sherwood so kindly offered himself as a punching bag. I personally dislike violence, but I also believe that men have a different code of honor than women. Does that answer your question, Susan?
Sherwood: Well, it will have to do. This program is only so long! Why don't you read the next question.
Roberts: Okay. This one also comes from Susan. She asks, "So, why doesn't Lester talk? Is he really a long lost relative of Mr. Foley's or what?" Sherwood, what do you think?
Sherwood: That's a tough one. We all know that Mr. Foley has an annoying older brother named Blair and we also know that we don't know a lot about Lester. Lester is a pretty quiet guy, similar to C.J. when he first started out. But I believe that Lester and Mr. Foley are NOT related. Distant cousins perhaps, but not close. Okay, we have time for one more question. Roberts, will you do the honors?
Roberts: This is yet another question from Susan. It's for you, Sherwood. "Is Asst. Director Cornstalk a good hitter, or did you just fake the pain?"
Sherwood: Ooooh. Another tough one. Oh, would you look at the time?
Announcer: And with that snappy sign-off, "The WENN Files" has left the building. Stay tuned next week for another exciting adventure of..."The WENN Files."