Simon Ferguson and Milo (actor) - Tim Curry
       Out of work actor who likes to drink and tends to forget his lines.
Katie - Annie Potts
      Simon's ex-wife and owner of Hotel.
Gwenn -
      Teenage daughter of Katie (no, not Tim's) about 15 yrs old.
Daniel - Luke Tarsitano
      Young son of Katie (again, not Tim's) about 8 yrs old.
Hotel Cook -
       Man with accent from small village.  Similar to that of Balki from 
Perfect Strangers.



The cast was introduced ending with Tim.  They all came through the door of 
the hotel lobby and came forward towards the audience, then lined up.  Tim 
sort of smirked while he pointed over to the rest of the cast.

SCENE 1 - Set in house
(out of view of audience except for monitors)
Tim is wearing white shirt w/suspenders looking messy.

Tim was passed out on a sofa.  The camera starts at his feet and moves
towards his face where he awakens.  In front of him is a martini glass.  
He takes a sip, appears to like it and takes another sip.  He then makes 
a phone call to his mother.  He says to her, "Where the hell am I?  They 
must have a search party out for me by now, but they sure haven't found
me."  Then a police officer and a lady dressed in nightclothes walks in 
the front door.  The lady says, "There he is officer".  Simon says to his 
mother, "I seemed to have woken up in a police station/policeman's 
house." (I believe he changed that sentence from the 1st to the 2nd 
show).  He gets up off the couch and turns to face the lady and officer.
She accuses him of breaking in.  He informs her that if he was to break 
in to a house, it sure wouldn't be THIS house.  She recognizes him and 
says, "You're Milo from Days To Remember," can I have a picture with 
you?"  He asks, "You aren't going to press charges are you?"  She says,
"No."  Policeman takes their photo.  Simon asks the lady, "Now that 
we're such good friends, can I borrow your car?"

SCENE 2 - Set in soap opera operating room
(out of view of audience except for monitors)
Tim is wearing a doctor's greenish robe

[Soap opera being taped]  Milo is operating on a patient.  He asks the
beautiful blonde haired revealing scrub top nurse to pass the 
googenheimer extractor.  The monitor shows the man dying.  The 
nurse says, "You're losing him Dr.".  Milo throws back his arm and 
slams his fist into the patients chest twice.  In the first taping they cut 
at this point to re-start the scene, only this time with Milo giving mouth-
to-mouth to the patient between the cardiac compressions. Milo slammed 
his fist into the 'patient' so hard that the body practically flew up off the 
operating table.  The nurse says, "You saved him Dr.".  Milo says, "Of 
course I did.  Take the monseignor to the recovery room."  The nurse 
moves away from the operating table and tells Milo how much she is 
going to miss him and how will she ever live without him.  He follows 
her and appears not to remember his lines.  He starts reciting 
some strange lines that don't fit the scene "Tomorrow the sun will
come out...".  The script guy says, "He doesn't know his lines."  Slowly 
he makes his way towards the man with the script book.  The man quickly 
closes the script book and Milo moves back towards the nurse.  They 
are now up against a wall and he puts his arms around her and grabs 
her tush.  She pushes him away in disgust and leaves the set (if I remember 
correctly).  The script guy says something like "Let's try that again, only 
this time, Simon, your last line will be 'I don't know IF I'll be back."  
Simon stares into the camera and drops his mouth as if surprised.

SCENE 3 - Set in a New York Hotel Bar
(this scene was filmed out of audience view but seen on monitors)
Tim in white tux

Simon walks in to bar.  He stands there and poses, then lights a cigarette.
 A waiter is walking by with a tray of drinks and Simon grabs one and says,
"Thank you."  He sees his agent and sits with him at the piano.  The agent
explains to him that his wife would like him to move out of the guest room.
 Simon says, "Even little Stevie?"  The agent corrects him and says, "Tommy".
 Simon says something about he still has his movies.  The agent tells him he
got kicked out of the last movie.  Simon says, "I was being upstaged by a
sock!"  The agent says, "It was a puppet!"  Then Simon says, "Say goodbye to
little Timmy for me."  The agent says, "Tommy" and walks away.
**The 2nd show, first take had the first boo-boo.  After Simon says, "Say
goodbye to little Timmy for me" and the agent corrects him by saying "Tommy",
Tim started cracking up and they had to do a retake.  I think it was because
the first show the agent said "Tommy" once and walked away.  The 2nd show he
said "Tommy" several times as he walked away and apparently Tim wasn't
expecting that.

SCENE 4 -Set in Hotel Lobby
Tim in dark suit

Hotel maid comes down the stairs dusting haphazardly.  Katie comes in with
tool box and wrench in hand.  She has just repaired the washing machine and
is upset with the maid who obviously doesn't care.  Katie slams the tool
box down and then the wrench.  The phone rings.  Katie goes in front of 
podium to answer.  She says, "Such and such hotel.  Reservations?  
Just a moment please."  Then she moves to the other side of the podium 
and gets back on the phone and says, "Reservations may I help you. 
Do we have a room?  Let me check.  (pause)  Yes, we have a room.  
Do we have a pool?  Yes we have a pool.  (she moves the phone away 
from her mouth and whispers to maid, "Go inflate the pool".  The maid 
replies, "I'm busy dusting the fitness center," which is a football sitting
on the table.  The maid goes up the stairs and Daniel comes down.  
Katie asks him to mind the hotel for a moment while she does something.
He is excited and says, "Cool" but she informs him it isn't all it's cracked
up to be.  Simon walks in.  He asks Daniel, "Where is the proprietor of 
this establishment?"  Daniel says, "The what?"  Simon says, "The 
concierge?"  Daniel says, "The who?"  Simon says loudly, "Anyone but
YOU!"  Daniel asks him if he needs a room and that he can help him.  
Daniel says, "I have nice handwriting, you can call my teacher I have 
her number."  Simon asks, "Are you going to be serving drinks during 
this monologue?"  Daniel tells Simon he sounds familiar, is he one of 
the Beatles.  Simon says, "I'm the 5th Beatle...Satan!"  Katie walks 
in and they immediately recognize each other.  Simon says, "You 
look like an angel."  She says, "You don't look so bad yourself.  
Drinking IS a preservative."  They hug.  He tells her he is on his way 
to Boston, to return to his first love, summer stock. She tells him she
owns this hotel, one good thing she got from her 2nd divorce.  They 
talked about their brief marriage and I believe it was on their honeymoon 
that she mooned El Presidente.  It might have been during their divorce in
Mexico - apparently they had just as good a time partying down their during 
their divorce as they had on their honeymoon.   Gwenn comes down the 
stairs and Katie asks her, "Where are you going?  Out, out of the house, 
out of the state?  Gwenn said out and rattled off a bunch of names.  
"And Frankie?" asked Katie (disapprovingly).  "An' Frankie" admitted 
Gwen.  "An' Frankie, is that the girl from the the attic?"  asked Simon.
  Gwenn says, "There's nothing wrong with Frankie."  Katie says, "He's
17 and he drives a van!"  Simon says, "If the van starts a-rockin, don't 
come a-knockin."  Katie abruptly stops him.  He then asks Gwenn if 
she would like to see a picture of her mother with the President as 
he grabs for the photo in his pocket (or something like that).  Katie 
again stops him before he finishes.

SCENE 5 - Simon's room in the hotel
(This scene is out of our view but on the monitor)
Tim is wearing a bathrobe

Hotel cook walks into Simon's room with tray of breakfast.  He sees 
Simon's photos hanging up and gets excited.  (These pics you will 
recognize.  One being the Life of Shakespeare picture we all love, 
one from Annie as Rooster, one that appeared to be from one of his 
albums, and several others).  He notices a piece of Simon's clothing 
laying on the dresser and he grabs it and starts smelling it.  Then Simon 
walks out of the bathroom and the cook turns around.  He says to Simon,
"I can't believe it's you!  I am your BIGGEST FAN!!  I have DREAMT OF 
THIS MOMENT!!"  As he is saying this he grabs Simon by the legs and 
shoves him into the window seat where Simon falls back.   Simon says, 
"I have dreamt of this moment too but in my dream I was lucky enough 
to be carrying a big stick!"  The cook lets Simon go and tells him, "If 
there is anything you need...ANYTHING!!  Simon tells him he won't be
needing any breakfast.  The cook takes the tray and starts walking away.
 Then Simon changes his mind and tells the cook maybe tea.  The cook turns
back around and again sets the train down.  Then Simon changes his mind 
again and the cook takes away the tray.  Then Simon starts teasing the cook 
by moving back and forth as if to take or not take the tray (very cute 
scene).  Simon tells the cook he thinks they will become good friends.  The 
cook looks very happy and leaves.  There is a knock at the door.  Simon 
opens it.  It is Daniel.  Daniel says, "Hi Simon, I have a joke for you."  
Simon says, "Do I have a choice?"  Daniel says, "Knock, knock."  Simon 
says, "Come in."  Daniel says, "Huh?"  Simon slams the door shut.

SCENE 6 - Hotel Bar
Tim is wearing a big caftan

Music is playing in the background.  Simon is sitting on the bar dancing
eqyptian style while holding a glass of an alcoholic beverage.  He lights 
the drink and it goes up in flames.  The other guests are dancing too.  
Katie walks in shocked.  She approaches Simon and asks, "Who are 
these people?"  He tells her, "These are a few of my friends."  He tries 
to convince her to join the party.  She tells him she is busy.  He 
continues by saying, "Come on Kate, it's Saturday night.  Just one drink."  
She tells him she's discovered a little thing since she's stopped drinking, 
it's called SUNDAY.  She peddles jam at the swap meet.  He starts 
laughing hysterically and says, "You peddle jam at a swap meet, you need 
that drink more than I thought.  Come on, just one drink."  Katie agrees, 
"Alright, just one drink."

SCENE 7 - Hotel Lobby
 Tim is wearing leather jacket 
 BTW, he looks like he does in McHale's-goatee

Katie is lying on coach in a big caftan.  Simon is sitting on the table 
right in front of her.  She awakens.  She wonders what she is doing 
in that outfit.  Simon says, "After that last dance we had to put 
SOMETHING on you."  She is in a state of shock and holding the 
outfit shut in the front.  She asks, "Why didn't you stop me?" Simon 
tells her, "The Police Chief tried but you handcuffed yourself to the 
blender."  She then notices a blender handcuffed to her wrist.  The 
cook walks in and says to her, "After last night, I still respect you as 
a boss and as a woman.  "The maid walks in and says, "If I had a body 
like that I'd show it off too," as she walks away laughing.  Both the
maid and cook walk away.  Katie gets up and notices money in her belt.  
She says, "This is so embarrasing."  Simon says something and she 
replies,  "I only made $9."  Gwenn walks in the front door wearing 
a tank top.  Katie gets up and approaches Gwenn and notices a tatoo 
on her shoulder.  Katie asks her, "What is that?"  Gwenn says, "It's a 
tatoo, do you like it?  Frankie's cousin did it.  It's a wolf.  It's 
completely original."  Katie says to her, "Do you realize that will never 
come off..EVER!?"  Gwenn runs up the stairs yelling, "I knew you 
wouldn't understand."  (Simon says something but unfortunately I 
can't remember.)  Katie points to him and yells, "You are a nightmare."
The blender is hanging from her wrist so she takes the money that she
"earned" and throws it in.  She goes upstairs.  [This scene changed 
in the 2nd show.  Instead of throwing the money into the blender, she 
throws it at Simon.  Simon starts counting it and puts it in his pocket.

 SCENE 8 - Hotel Lobby

Simon is in lobby and Daniel comes up to him and asks if he would like to
play a game.  Daniel says, "How about hide and seek?"  Simon says, "Sure,
you hide first."  Daniel says, "Great, I know a place you'll never find 
me," and he runs out the door.  (Simon says something here but again I can't
remember.)  Simon walks out of the room.  Katie walks in the door and the
cook runs in yelling hysterically, "Something terrible has happend."  He
puts a video tape in the VCR and plays Simon's soap opera.  The scene is 
with the nurse and she is saying, "Tragically Milo's plane has gone down 
in flames, but thankfully the crash didn't kill him.  He was ripped apart 
by wild monkeys!"  The cook yells, "It's terrible, what am I going to do".  
He looks at his watch and says, "Ooh, General Hospital," and runs upstairs.  
Simon had seen this from the other room and approaches Katie.  She says 
to him, "So the monkeys beat me to it.  How could you do this to me.  You 
used me and you lied to me.  You weren't flying to New York, you were fired.  
You have no movie do you?  Simon admits to everything.  Simon tells her 
he'll leave at the end of the week.  She gives him a look and he says, 
"Weekend?"  She agrees.

SCENE 9 - Hotel Lobby
[One part I thought was cute is Tim had his book upside down.  He did
eventually notice this a turn the book right side up.]

Simon is sitting on coach reading.  Daniel runs in and sits by him.  
(Another boo-boo here.  The boy drops the hat while running to 
the couch.  No biggie but I thought you'd like to know.  They had 
to do another take).  Daniel says, "I got a new Yankee's hat for my 
birthday so I'll give you my old one."  Simon says, "Oh goodie, I'll 
put it next to my bowling trophies."  Daniel runs upstairs.  Gwenn 
comes downstairs and sits on coach and picks up magazine.  She 
is quiet and sighs.  Then she goes over to him and cries on his 
shoulder.  Simon asks her, "Frankie dump you?"  She says, "He 
said I was too young."  Simon says, "I know what it feels like to 
be dumped.  I lost my agent (sobbing voice).  Then he starts 
reciting the same lines that he did in scene 2 from his soap opera, 
"Tomorrow the sun will come out..."  Gwenn looks up   at him and 
says, "Huh?"  She gets up and Simon says to her, "Don't worry
about the tatoo, you should see your Mom's".  She just stands there 
for a moment, thanks him and leaves.  Simon gets up and starts to walk 
towards the stairs but turns around to pick up the hat Daniel had given 
him.  Katie is watching this but Simon isn't aware.  He continues to walk
upstairs.

[They changed this scene in the 2nd take of the 2nd show.  Apparently they
didn't like the girl's crying so she only appeared sad, no crying.]

SCENE 10 - Hotel bar
Simon at piano playing it (really, he is) and singing, "Gray skies are gonna
clear up, put on a happy face..."  Katie walks in.  Simon sees her out of the
corner of his eyes and he sings in a sad voice.  She puts her hand on his
shoulder and he stops singing.  She sits next to him.  She tells him that
since her husband left she hasn't been getting along with the daughter.  She
noticed that the children seem to like him and are opening up around him.  He
says to her, "Didn't you miss me just a little bit?" as he shows this with
his fingers.  She takes his fingers, which are about an inch apart and moves
them shut as if to say not at all.  She tells him he can stay but he''ll have
to work.  He says, "Work?.....work?......work!"  (The first work being said
like he's baffled and shocked, the second work he's kindof considering it,
the third work is like he will do it.)
[This scene changed in the 2nd show.  Towards the end he dumps a bowl of
peanuts that were on top of the piano into his coat pocket without Katie
noticing.  The director did a "cut" here and I heard Tim say something like
it was too messy or too hard.  They did the take again and still did the
peanut thing.]

Last scene :-(

 SCENE 11 - Hotel Lobby
 Tim in hotel uniform
 [This scene was not in the first show.  There were also 2 different
endings.]

Two guests were at hotel desk and ring bell.  Simon walks to desk in hotel
uniform and offers help.  He says something like, "Entertainment tonight
will be (something I can't remember) and he says, "Hooplah!" while raising
his hands.  [That's familiar!  The audience was really laughing here.)

The 2nd take he changed the entertainment to some kind of African dance
which didn't go over as big as the "hooplah" did.

 Thanks To Betty Thomas for helping me out on this story.

Dina Janson