Willow lay on her pillow, it was hot and wet. Stained with tears. She sobbed into the little teddy bear she didn't want to wake Buffy. She didn't even think that she would be able to cry anymore, but it was worst at night. At night she was left with her mind and it wandered from memory to memory all including him.

She curled herself into a tighter ball and held back another racking sob. It wasn't even the pain of him leaving anymore, it wasn't that she missed him. It was that there was a hole in her soul that had been there before and was gone now, sucking all her energy and all her dreams out of her to a negative energy.

Willow had totally moved on, of course. How could someone be stupid enough to miss a person for more time then she had? After what he'd done to her, after what he'd done *with* her and then done to that bitch. Willow shuddered at the thought of Veruca, at the thought of him touching her. Kissing her. Tasting her.

Willow sniffled, her nose was running and she swiped angrily at it. That always seemed to happen when you cried too much, your nose got stuffy and then it ran. She hated that, of course she hated crying so that there wasn't much difference. How many mornings had she promised herself after sobbing herself to sleep that it would be her last time shedding a tear over him. Too many.

Willow clenched her jaw strangling the little teddy bear, she wanted to throw the damn thing out the opened window. But Oz had given it to her.. no matter how upset she was she would never throw away something Oz had given her. It was to precious. She still had the Pez witch... original Pez still in it.

Crying might not be the answer to problems, sure, she cried more then most people. But it was healthy.. and hell it kept her sane. It was a way to vent because she couldn't do that with her friends anymore. They were sick of listening to her. Sick of hearing her crazy stories about how Oz would be back. Screw them. It was her life and she'd cry if she wanted to.

--End--