She’s beautiful, she’s gorgeous. She’s Cordelia Chase. Men have been known to fall over themselves to touch her, hear her voice directed at them, have her glance at them. She could have anyone she ever wanted, and she picked me.

The school loser, the one guy that everyone loves to hate, who she in fact hated until a few months ago when we got locked into Buffy’s basement and hormones took over our brains. I am the most screwed up guys in Sunnydale high, maybe even Sunnydale (Excluding the vampire populace) and she chose me. Maybe it was her hormones that chose me, I think, I hope, it was her heart though.

When she’s not around I can’t wait to see her walking the halls, I want to go up to her and exchange some of our loving banter. Comment on her outfit, do a funny dance. Anything to make her smile, a smile that millions would kill to see and she let me see it every time I said something silly.

I didn't understand it when Oz would talk about Willow on the few times he did talk. Sometimes when it was three in the morning and we were researching or patrolling together and Willow was off with Buffy doing the girly best friend thing, he would talk about her. How much he could watch her doing everyday things for hours and never get tired of it. I couldn't see it, I didn't get it. Now I do.

Cordelia is like that, I can watch her painting her nails for hours (generally how long it takes. . .). Its like every move she makes is full of some other worldly grace, it makes me want to hug her or touch her. I can't seem to keep my hands off of her, and get your mind out of the gutter! Not that way. Just the fact that. . . touching her is like making her solid. Really there. Not some wisp of a dream that I'm going to wake up from. She's Cordy. She's been here forever and maybe more, I hope she doesn't ever leave.

Life isn’t easy loving her, I don’t even know if it is love. If its not then it will be soon at the rate I’m going. Its so weird, the person whom I hated for so long. . . turning into the girl of my dreams. Maybe the girl of my dreams has always been her, I can’t tell, I can’t distinguish a difference between them now. They’re all long legged brunettes with eyes that I fall into, lips so sweet I never want to stop kissing them, Cordelia Chase.

She’s unbelievable.

She’s mine.

~*~End~*~