I pulled into a grungy motel about three hours from LA. I had driven all night. . . trying to get distance between myself and Sunnydale. My heart was screaming to go back, my mind was begging me to. I don't know what I stayed on the road, why I kept myself going. Maybe it was deep down. . . in my soul that I knew. I couldn't be with her. Not right now, not after what I'd done. . . to her. To myself. To Veruca. I shuddered and made my way into the dark room. As I turned the lights on I saw a few black things skitter for the corners of the room, I was too tired to start driving again. I would be in Mexico by tomorrow. . . if that was where I was going. I honestly didn't know.

I made my way into the bathroom, dropping my duffle bag onto the bed and pulling my shirt over my head. My hair was a mess and for once, I couldn't bring myself to care. Turning on the hot water on I stared at the vapor as it rose from the steamy water and into the cramped bathroom. I quickly took off the rest of my clothes, they hadn't been changed in nearly twenty six hours. I let out a sigh as the hot water assaulted my pores, I tried not to think on those first moments. Taking up the motels complimentary two ounces of shampoo slash conditioner I squeezed it into my hands and began running it through my hair.

Well, I like you. You're nice and you're funny. And you don't
smoke. Yeah, okay, werewolf, but that's not all the time. I mean, three
days out of the month I'm not much fun to be around either.

My eyes shut in pain as the memory washed over me. I missed her. It felt like everything was missing from me, not just my torso. Everything. I was a empty hollow shell. I wanted her so much, I wanted to touch her and feel her skin. . . her lips. Smell her.

This is what I do know: I miss you. Like, every
second. Almost like I lost an arm, or worse, a torso. So, I think I'd be
willing to... give it a shot.

But I couldn't. I had hurt her, worse then I'd ever hurt anyone. I think leaving might have hurt her even more then what I'd done, but I had to. If I hadn't. . . I could have killed her. The wolf. Me. The wolf, I was the wolf. I needed to deal with that. I shook my head, turning off the water that had run cold. My body was shivering with a chill that was from the inside as I took a towel and quickly ran it over my skin. Wrapping the towel around my middle I walked into the room, sitting down at the small desk shoved uncaringly into a corner I opened the drawer. Stationary and a pen sat there, begging me to write her. I pulled out the paper and pen, leaving the bible for someone who needed it.

I sat there for a moment, staring at the yellowing sheet of paper. Could I get all of my emotions out? Could I even send her a letter? I had said I would leave. Wouldn't it hurt her more if I was in contact? Make a clean break. I didn't know if I could bear not having any communication with her. I loved her.

Oz? Don't you love me?
My whole life? I've never loved anything else.

It was true. I had never loved anything, anyone. . . more then I loved her. It was a love so deep it hurt my soul. I wanted to be with her, it was like I was physically dependent on her warmth and the light that she emanated. I placed the pen to the paper, beginning to write.

Willow,
I know that I've hurt you. I love you. I miss you so much. Its only been a day and it feels like a year. . .

I stopped writing, hearing a knock at my door. I grabbed a pair of pants quickly from my duffle bag, slipping them on I went to it. It was nearly three in the morning, I wondered if the manager was kicking me out. I opened the door hesitantly and my breath caught in my throat.

"Oz." She was standing there, beautiful. Her hair was wild around her face and there were bags under her eyes, tear streaks down her face. I could smell the despair on her, I wanted nothing more then to hold her. She beat me to it, throwing herself into my arms.
"Oh Oz! I couldn't let you leave me! Please don't go! I couldn't. . . wherever you need to go. Please, take me with you. Please Oz. . . I can't be without you." She was holding me like a life line, almost crushing my ribs with the strength of her arms as sobbed against my chest. I pulled her into the room gently and closed the door.

"Willow. . . " She looked up at me, her eyes swollen and puffy from too many tears shed.

"Please. . . " She was begging me. To stay with me.

"I. . . love you." I kissed her, not knowing any other words to express my emotions. She kissed me back, frantically like I was a dream to her.

And the letter lay on the desk, forgotten as we planned our future, three hours out of LA.
~*~End~*~
Yesterdays Letter by 98 Degrees

I wrote a letter yesterday
Just trying to explain
couldn't find the words to say
cause you are so far away
so far away
I wrote a letter yesterday
Its to hard for me to face
that it had to end this way
but my love will never change
will never change

When I search my soul and find the truth
about the love we shared
I wonder why your no longer here

You can just walk away
but I don't feel the same
My heart still beats for you, breathes for you, sings for you
and those feelings will never fade
I can hide my pain
but I can never hide the way I feel for you

I've been talking endlessly about the way it used to be.
Girl I pray that you'll hear me
then I'll see you in my dreams
in my dreams
Well I can't forget the words you said
and move on with my life
and no matter what, I'll carry you inside

You can just walk away
but I don't feel the same
my heart still beats for you, breathes for you, sings for you
and those feelings will never fade
I can hide my pain
but I can never hide the way I feel for you

Sooner or later
Your gonna realize
that this type of love, happens once in your life
so open your eyes girl, and see what we could be. Come back to me.

Just walk away
but I don't feel the same
my heart still beats for you, breathes for you, sings for you
and those feelings will never fade
I can hide my pain
but I can never hide the way I feel for you
(repeat)