Gabrielle's Polyandry List

"Remind me to talk to you sometime about your taste in men."

pol·y·an·dry (pòl¹ê-àn´drê) noun
The condition or practice of having more than
one husband at one time.

Gabrielle's bad luck with men is near legendary. The ones who don't go for Xena are either taken, treacherous, or soon-to-be dead. And when a man does manage to survive her acquantance, she leaves him! But hey, once she dies they'll all be waiting for her on the other side. So we present to you a list of all those guys who will be waiting in line when she gets there, with our own commentary on their worth. (Ranked on a scale of 1 -- 5 hairbrushes, based on how long we think Gabby would spend doing her hair for a date with him)

Perdicas -- (Sins of the Past, Beware of Greeks, Return ofCallisto)
(Actually, he gets "a hundred and one, a hundred and two, a hundred and...) He's a little bit of a wuss, but he does manage to actually marry Gabby before he dies, and that's quite an achievement! He went from being the 'yucky intended' to "Perdicas luv-muffin!" And he managed to go from farmer to warrior in 3.9 seconds.

Sphaerus -- (Chariots of War)
A good friend, but definitely not her tree in the forest. And she left him, though we can kind of understand what with the greasy hair and all.

Philius -- (The Titans)
"I'm lovely, absolutely lovely, lovely is the one thing I can do.... " (Philia, A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum)

Iolaus -- (Prometheus)
Sidekick bonding is good, but we can't quite imagine a person with a Gabby head and an Iolaus head. And there is the question of whether she'd have to fight Xena for him...

Talus -- (Death in Chains)
Dimples! Not only was he tragic, he was a hottie too! And since he is the first to actually die, he'll be first in line.

Orion/Homer (Athens City Academy)
Wish we could have had some more character development. Definitely a good friend, pretty darn cute, but not a romantic interest.

Petracles -- (A Fistful of Dinars)
He had potential, but kissed her too soon.

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