Jeremy Northam: 30%

If only my English lecturers had looked as gorgeous as Jeremy does in this! He's very convincing in his role of Englishman abroad and manages a depth of character hard to find elsewhere in this strange but somehow engaging romantic comedy. The script writers must have been on drugs, with bizarre episodes of the bodice ripper Jeremy's wife is writing flitting in and out of the film. Much hilarity ensued at Justine Waddell (flavour of the month period drama actress who had an agent when at Cambridge and still got a first. We hate her!) and her line "I find I am partial to the big stick." Probably best viewed having imbibed copious amounts of alcohol.