Neil Pearson: 30%

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear, what a waste. Britches, stunning African vistas, high drama and Neil is forced to grow a Merv Hughes face-obscuring moustache. Rhodes is one of those BBC colonial dramas where people say "damn it!" and "The Empire" alot and is incredibly boring. Viewing was only made bearable by copious amounts of wine, the comic relief afforded by Frances Barber's increasingly bizarre hats and accent and the Moustache Obscurer TM.

Alternatively you can use crossed fingers, but it gets more difficult to hold the wine glass.