Well, first of all, I bothered to start
writing this html-document just to get on a
webring. I'm concerned about the amount of
visitors who end up seeing the lame excuse for
a "home" that I have on the Web, and actually
consider this a "home", as much as real life.
The first thing that convinced me I'm a loser
was the link to a site on whether "whatever her name
was again" looked like Kristen Johnston. Why?
Cause I've been told I look like her, too. Perfect
loser material, it seems. I'm also almost as tall
as Johnston, only an inch shorter. And my friends
tell me I sometimes act just like Sally from Third
Rock from the Sun. Oh, yeah, I still got friends.
I count 2. Plus my flatmate, maybe. Another sign
I'm a loser is I also think I look a bit like
Xenia Seeberg
from Lexx, after only one person telling me
that. I have no sense of self-critique, apparently.
If you want to compare Kristen Johnston
and me, I'll add up a site with both our
pics as soon as possible. For now you can
go check out my pics at either
Personal
or go see what I look like as a lioness and a
vampire, as well as Darth Nyks at
Make-up.
Which is a very good sign that I'm a loser, too,
btw. I like face painting and dressing up. I also
use obscure abbreviations and acronyms a lot.
I still don't know whether SLT is one I made up or
if it's more commonly used on the Net. SLT=
Something Like That. I say and write SLT all the
time in my own texts.
Here's one description of a loser site from the
ring that I particularly identified with. Apart from
the looking at women part.
The Flaw
"Loser, loner, flake" and that's just part of my bio entry. A typical INTP.
I can't finish anything, can't relate to people very well, and would just
prefer to sit in front of my computer and create these lame journal
entries (when I'm not looking at all the pretty women, that is).
Boring site though. So I guess it fits in with the loser category.
Not that I bothered to check further than the first page. And
I didn't even write the URL down, so you'll have to go via
the webring if you're interested. Trust me, it was nothing
to do with INTP-stuff, as far as I could tell.
I'm an INTP, too, btw, if you didn't realize yet. I'm into personality tests, personality typing and anything that will give me a better view of how people and the world functions. Including mumbojumbo like astrology. I quite like sceptics, though. Oh, and I keep a journal. HUGE loser-sign. I've written something every day since I was around 14, so that makes 11 years now. Think of everything else I could've spent all that time on... Still not convinced? One word: The Eighties. Actually, that's 2 words already. I love 80's music, especially music from early eighties, I love the cartoons (well, I grew up watching them on satellite channels, so I would, wouldn't I?) and have tried to come up with a section that would focus on them, too. It's somewhere under my general Comics and Cartoons section, only I'm too disorganized to remember where. For some reason everybody always considered the 80's a loser decade, though at the same time they also criticize it for being a yuppie-winner takes it all-mentality cursed decade. I wish they'd decide already. But hey, we're coming back in fashion! Maybe now I can use that short red leather jacket I still have in my wardrobe again, too, as well as walk proudly without getting weird looks from most people on the street when I wear my orange and black checkered trousers with a similarly coloured jacket on top.
I'm a drop-out, too. I quit higher education 2 years in, although I didn't really do anything during my second year of "studies". I was too busy chatting to my lame friends on IRC (Internet Relay Chat), as well as reading email and my first and last and only mailing list, Brent's Dedicated Fan Troupe, about Brent Spiner and his character Data on Star Trek - The Next Generation. Which means I'm also a Trekker/Trekkie. I don't care which word you use, I've already stated I like dressing up now haven't I? ;) I didn't get anything constructive done while I was in London either, mostly wasting my time. I guess I thought it'd make me cool, living there? *sigh* Now I'm studying IT. That's supposed to be cool, too, so why am I surrounded by all these nerds and geeks then? Is that what I look like to everybody outside this place, too?
I'm really not at all home here in Finland, although I've lived most of my life here. I don't drink coffee, I don't like Formula 1, I never watch ice hockey on tv and I don't own a mobile phone, all very Finnish activities apparently, so most of the time I really have no clue whatsoever as to what people are talking about here. I haven't been out since Millennium Finncon in August and am quite okay with that, too. Yes, I go to cons, too. When I can. I'm also a loser at cons, cause I've only been to 2 so far (Finncons this and last year), so I get over-excited about certain things that even worse nerds don't get excited about. My nerdity test result was somewhere near 48%, out of 100.
I think I'm getting a bit depressed here, realizing just how much of a loser I really am, so I guess I better go on another time. I'll just go pretend I have a life again by focusing on some other section of my Website. *Sigh* Or maybe I'll go post to some more message boards again. Another favourite passtime of mine on the Web. I've posted 133 posts on the Andrew Divoff Message Boards since March, about a 100 of those in less than 2 months.
Or maybe I'll try to write some more fan fiction
again. So far I've only written one chapter of a Dragon
Lord story in connection to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
I admit it, that's sad, if anything. Especially when I
didn't even get it finished.
I also make personality analyses even of fictional characters.
Or especially of fictional characters. For some reason I
don't really feel right at home in this reality. I seriously
still don't know why. I have a high IQ, so what's the problem?
Was I raised wrong or what?
Which reminds me, yes, I have a highly dysfunctional
family, too. My mother was over-protective and a fussy
hen-mother, and my father was a general idiot who I don't
talk to if I can avoid it. I'm so much of a loser I think
someone might be interested in why I consider my father to
be an idiot, having had plans to make a webpage on that for
ages now. I just never got round to it. I also have an
irresistible urge to describe the people beyond my
immediate family, going all the way to my grandfather's
brother on my mother's side (he was a sailor and nowadays
he's a hermit, for starters), but I haven't gotten round
to that yet either. E-mail me if you're actually
interested in this stuff, I'll try and put it up somewhere,
sometime. You can find the email address on the main
Nyksieland page.
Sad bastard, ain't I? *sigh*