Mulder, where are you?
Scully had asked that question no less than a thousand times, but each time there was no answer. She glanced at the empty seat beside her, and couldn't help but remembered the last time Mulder was sitting there, the night before he had officially disappeared, grinning his lopsided grin at her. She remembered his smart-ass remarks, his cool demeaner, those sparkling hazel pupils that seemed to have hidden a million mysteries behind them.
All but a few painful memories, and the terrible
heartache she felt everytime she thought of them.
Scully closed her eyes as she recalled what
had happened on that very special night.
It began just like any other night. Mulder came over to discuss some details on a case they had been working on recently. By the time they finished, it was already well past midnight. Mulder got up to leave. Both of their minds were filled with all sorts of details and clues of their x-file on hand. Mulder put on his trench coat, and his hand was already on the doorknob.
And it happened. Something that should have happened a long time ago, or should never have happened at all.
"Hey! You forgot your case file." Scully called behind him, picking up the folder Mulder had left on the table. Even though Scully knew the presence of the folder made no difference to Mulder?s photographic brain.
"Oh! Thank you." His hand still on the doorknob, Mulder turned to see Scully approaching him with the case file in her hand.
Normally, Dana Scully was NOT a clumsy person. But, as if by fate, she tripped over the leg of the little stand she used to put her lamp on. The case file went flying, and landed on the floor a foot away from her with a loud "thud". Mulder moved just in time to catch her in his arms. Then, the next thing she knew, they were staring into each other's eyes, their noses nearly touching one another. Scully could see her own reflection in Mulder's eyes, and she knew it must be the same for him. It was like everything in the universe disappeared without a trace in that instant. As far as they were both concerned, the only things that still existed in the world were themselves. Gazing deep into his eyes, she saw the love, the care. She saw all the feelings he had tried so hard to suppress, to hide from her all this time. Then she saw in him a moment of hesitation. And before she knew what happened, his lips were on hers.
The universe exploded. Scully could no longer tell up from down, right from wrong. She felt like she was floating, and at the same time she felt like she was drowning. She felt a thousand things and she couldn't tell what they were. Not that she cared anyway. All she cared about was the wonderful feeling of being in Mulder's arms, and the sweet sensation of him applying pressure to his lips against hers. The world was spinning around her like a whirlpool. But again she didn't care. All she wanted to do was savor the moment.
And that she did.
Now, three months later, alone in her own apartment, Scully could still detect the faint, lingering taste of Mulder's lips pressed against hers. She could almost smell Mulder's unique scent in the air that now surrounded her. She could almost feel his warm, powerful embrace, and those long, strong arms that once held her and made her feel so secure and protected. She could almost hear those clever remarks of his coming out of his mouth and echoing throughout the room, almost see that sometimes annoying, yet incredibly attractive lopsided grin he reserved for her......
Scully opened her eyes for a second, then closed it again. The pain in her heart still refused to subside. Nor did she expect it to. The pain never ceased for a moment ever since Mulder's disappearance.
Everything would have been so perfect if not for the strange, mysterious phone call that came well after 3 a.m. that night. A phone call from hell that had taken Mulder away from her. It had woken them both up, and Mulder had reached for the receiver first. Scully still couldn't think of anyone who could possibly have known that Mulder would be staying over at her place that night. But nevertheless, Mulder's expression had turned serious immediately upon hearing whoever it was on the other end. By the time he put down the receiver, Mulder's brows wre crossed in such a way that Scully knew the situation must be very intense.
"What's wrong?" Scully asked as she looked into thosen mysterious hazel eyes that had silently captured her heart.
Mulder shook his head slowly, apparently in deep thought. "I'm not sure yet." Came the unthrilling reply as he brushed his fingers lightly against her cheeks. Then he sighed, "I have to go."
Scully tried to hide her disappointment, and failed miserably.
"I'll see you in the office tomorrow morning." Mulder deliberately avoided Scully's questioning stare, and started putting on his clothes.
Scully continued to stare at him for a moment. Suddenly, a dreadful feeling rose in her chest, but she didn't know why. "I'll come with you." She said, and reached for her clothes as well.
"Na, it's okay." Mulder stopped her when she was halfway out of the bed. He flashed her a reassuring smile. "I might need someone to cover for me tomorrow morning."
Scully reluntantly agreed. "Be careful." She said, unable to get rid of the sinking feeling in her chest. She knew how completely useless and unnecessary those two words were in their line of work. Unexplainable and unpredictable things tend to find them at all times and play havoc with their lives whether they wanted them or not.
As a reply, Mulder lifted her chin gently and kissed her ever so lightly on her lips.
"I love you." He whispered in her ear.
Then he was gone.
And it was the last she had heard of him.
Mulder's last words still rang in her ears
as she sat there, alone in her home three months later. They were
the very words she had been waiting to hear, wanting to hear over the past
six years they had been working together in the X-Files. She could
feel her eyes stinging at those wonderful words that meant so much to her.
Had she been given a second chance, Scully would have told him how much
she loved him, how much she cared. But now, it was already too late.
Scully opened her eyes for the second time, only to be greeted again by
the invisible void that enveloped her in this little apartment in which
her most precious memories resided. She couldn't stand the silence
that was eating her alive anymore, so she hit the radio, and Celine Dion's
It's All Coming Back To Me Now filled the air......
The sudden chime of the doorbell brought Scully back to reality. She glanced at the clock. It was already 11:21 p.m.. Who would be at her door at this hour? Could it be......There were nights when the wind was so cold
That my body froze in bed
If I just listened to it
Right outside the window
There were days when the sun were so cruel
That all the tears turned to dust
And I just know my eyes were drying up foreverI finished crying in the instant that you left
And I can't remember where or when or how
And I banished every memory you and I had ever madeBut when you touch me like this
And when you hold me like that
I just have to admit
That it's all coming back to me
When I touch you like this
And I hold you like that
It's so hard to believe
But it's all coming back to me
(It's all coming back,
It's all coming back to me now)There were moments of gold
And there were flashes of light
There were things I'd never do again
But then they'd always seemed right
There were nights of endless pleasure
It was more than any laws allow
Baby babyIf I kiss you like this
And if you whisper like that
It was so long ago
But it's all coming back to me
If you want me like this
And if you need me like that
It was dead long ago
But it's all coming back to me
It's so hard to resist
And it's all coming back to me
I can barely recall
But it's all coming back to me now
But it's all coming back --There were those empty threats and hollow lies
And whenever you tried to hurt me
I just hurt you even worse
And so much deeperThere were hours that just went on for days
Whe alone at last we'd count up all the chances
That were lost to us forever (Forever)But you were history with the slamming of the door
And I made myself so strong again somehow
And I never wasted any of my time on you since thenBut when I touch you like this
And if you kiss me like that
It was so long ago
But it's all coming back to me
If you touch me like this
And if I kiss you like that
It was gone with the wind
But it's all coming back to me......
Scully jumped to her feet at the thought and ran towards the door. Her heart was beating at a rate so fast it was on the verge of a cardiac arrest. But she didn't have time to care about that. Cautiously, she looked through the peephole. And on the other side of the door stood the man whose face had been haunting her dreams for the past three months.
"Mulder!" Scully's hands shook as she fumbled with the lock on the door to let her partner in.
"Scully......" Without another word, Mulder pulled her into his arms and devoured her lips hungrily. Everything in the world dissolved into nothingness in that instant. All that Scully was aware of was the warm, overwhelming feeling of being in Mulder's arms again, and the wondrous sensation of his lips crushed against hers. It was a moment that felt like an eternity. But who was counting?
By the time they broke apart, both of them were gasping for breath. But they were both too overjoyed to see each other to care about anything else.
"You're back. You're really back." Scully whispered dreamily. "Please tell me I'm not dreaming."
"No, you're not dreaming. I'm here, and I'm real. I'm back, Scully. I'm really back." Mulder smiled warmly and reassuringly at her.
Scully pulled a little further away to take a better look at her FBI partner. He looked weary and tired. From the redness of his eyes, Scully could tell he hadn't slept well for quite some time. His clothes were clean, and he smelled of fresh soap and spice. He must have gone back to his apartment to shower and change before he came over. He wore his usual suit and tie, with a trench coat on top. Still very much the all-time bad-dresser he always was.
"What happened?" Scully finally managed to ask despite all the chaotic emotions she was experiencing from the shock of seeing Mulder again after he had disappeared for three whole months.
"I was abducted." Mulder replied with a grin.
"I'm serious!" Scully demanded in a slightly annoyed voice. She had taken Mulder's reply as a joke.
"You're not gonna make me tell you the story of my abduction with us both standing at your door, are you?" Mulder's grin grew wider.
"Oh, I forgot. Uh......come on in." Scully stepped aside to let her partner in. "So, seriously, what happened? Where have you been for the past three months?" She asked again as she closed the door behind him.
Mulder opened his mouth to reply, and closed it again before anything came out. He hesitated for another moment. Finally, he said, "It doesn't matter, Scully. What really matters is that, I'm back, and everything's gonna be alright again."
Scully knew from the look in his eyes that she wasn't going to get anything more out of his mouth. When Mulder decided to keep his mouth shut, it was just impossible to make him utter another word even with a dozen M15s trained on him. But Scully refused to give in without a try.
"Doesn't matter?" She exploded at the unsatisfying reply. "Did you know I almost turned the world upside-down, inside-out trying to look for you? I traced the call you received the other night, only to find a disconnected number. I tried the Lone Gunman, but they had no more idea of your whereabouts anyore than I do. I harrassed Skinner almost every single day! And I......"
Before she could continue on, Mulder had already shut her up with a long, lingering kiss. And as soon as their lips touched, Scully forgot about all her protestations. And Mulder was right. Where he had been or what he had gone through didn't matter anymore. It was all over. As long as she could be in his protective arms and breathe in his essence once again, as long as they were together, all the problems that lay ahead of them could always be overcome. There were nothing they couldn't solve together. After all, they had been in more life-and-death situations together than they could count. So she decided to let all the problems troubling their minds melt away for the moment......
Faintly, Scully could still hear the radio
playing in the background......
If you forgive me all this
If I forgive you all that
We forgive and forget
And it's all coming back to me
When you see me like this
And when I see you like that
We see just what we want to see
All coming back to me
The flesh and the fantasies
All coming back to me
I can barely recall
But it's all coming back to me now(It's all coming back to me now)
And when you kiss me like this
(It's all coming back to me now)
And when I touch you like that
(It's all coming back to me now)
If you do it like this
(It's all coming back to me now)
And if we......
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