Things Bart Simpson has written on the chalk board:

• I will not waste chalk
  
• I will not aim for the head
  
• I will not skateboard in the halls
  
• I will not barf unless I'm sick
  
• I will not burp in class
  
• I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty
  
• I will not instigate revolution
  
• I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge
  
• I will not draw naked ladies in class
  
• I will not conduct my own fire drills
  
• I did not see Elvis
  
• Funny noises are not funny
  
• I will not call my teacher `Hot Cakes'
  
• I will not snap bras
  
• Garlic gum is not funny
  
• I will not fake seizures
  
• They are laughing at me, not with me
  
• This punishment is not boring and meaningless
  
• I will not yell "fire" in a crowded classroom
  
• My name is not Dr. Death
  
• I will not encourage others to fly
  
• I will not defame New Orleans
  
• I will not fake my way through life
  
• I will not prescribe medication
  
• Tar is not a plaything
  
• I will not bury the new kid
  
• I will not Xerox my butt
  
• I will not teach others to fly
  
• It's potato, not potatoe
  
• I will not bring sheep to class
  
• I will not trade pants with others
  
• A burp is not an answer
  
• I am not a 32 year old woman
  
• Teacher is not a leper
  
• I will not do that thing with my tongue
  
• Coffee is not for kids.
  
• I will not drive the principal's car
  
• I will not eat things for money
  
• I will not pledge allegiance to Bart
  
• I will not yell "She's Dead" during roll call
  
• I will not sell school property
  
• The principal's toupee is not a frisbee.
  
• I will not cut corners
  
• I will not squeak chalk
  
• I will not get very far with this attitude.
  
• Goldfish don't bounce
  
• I will not make flatulent noises in class.
  
• Mud is not one of the 4 food groups
  
• I will not belch the National Anthem
  
• No one is interested in my underpants.
  
• I will not sell land in Florida
  
• I will not sell miracle cures
  
• I will not grease the monkey bars
  
• Underwear should be worn on the inside
  
• I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment
  
• The Christmas pageant does not stink
  
• I will not do anything bad ever again
  
• I will not torment the emotionally frail
  
• I will not show off
  
• I will not carve gods
  
• I will not sleep through my education
  
• I will not spank others
  
• I am not a dentist
  
• I will not bribe Principal Skinner
  
• Spitwads are not free speech.
  
• I will finish what I start
  
• Nobody likes sunburn slappers
  
• "Bart Bucks" are not legal tender
  
• Cocane and school don't mix
  
• The Ricki Lake Show is not appropriate show and tell
• Hamsters cannot fly