A good filmmaker can prove, from an analysis of current events, as reported in Insight Magazine and in many other publications and news broadcasts, that this conspiracy did occur and is continuing. You be the judge.

In the early seventies, six newly graduated lawyers met in a bar. "So many new lawyers," number one opined, "is there enough work for them all and the thousands more every year? How can we make sure there is enough money to go around?"

"I have the same fears," said number two. "I am going into politics; there is a great future in law; formulating laws, getting them passed, interpreting them, monitoring them for compliance, even in breaking them. Think of regulations, purposely written to be so complex that only lawyers, for a consulting fee, can make any sense of them. The continuous succession of law suits, each providing new and exciting litigation concepts, that will make the practice of law wonderfully exciting. And the court time. Give judges the power, and let them be blamed for defining compliances. If I could produce a number of new laws and regulations every year, with lots of loopholes, I bet I could generate a thousand new jobs and billions of dollars in legal revenues every year."

"When you calculate the cost of crime in America," said number three, "the cost of law is a hundred times as lucrative. In Washington, Congressionally appointed Special Prosecutors get the first tit. They can spend as much money as they want --- millions, take as long as they like investigating --- two, four, eight years. And, political support for the investigation is guaranteed to last beyond the next election --- whatever the result."

"I agree," said number one. "But, I am going into criminal law. The cops ruin a lot of good opportunities. We need more criminals --- rich ones. If the rules of evidence were made more complicated, more criminals would go free. In time, they will get better at generating wealth; drugs, disposal of hazardous chemicals, bank fraud, weapons, computers, new opportunities every year."

"Criminals are a wonderful source of revenue. As long as we keep setting them free, lawyers will have a steady source of income. Number two, we just need your magic touch with the laws and the judges to rule in our favor. For example, the anti-drug laws alone insure that new and larger generations of criminals are continuously created."

"There is even greater opportunity in the insurance industry," said number three. "Lots of money there. If there were no limit to punitive damage awards for personal liability, we could pocket 30- to 40-percent of the billions generated from this source --- and with little opposition. Insurance companies will just pass the costs over their customers. Doctors, municipalities, and businesses have lots of money. They will pay! What else can they do? Will gynecologists stop delivering babies? Will drug firms limit research? Will manufacturers remove products from the marketplace out of fear? I am certain that within a decade or so, individuals, businesses and governments will spend over $80 billion on insurance and settlements. This is a very rich source, and its good for everyone. I predict they will pay over $300 billion just to limit liability. Prices may go up; but, we get paid well."

"Boring," said number four. "I like the glitz of family law, particularly divorce. Wouldn't it be wonderful if you could force someone to pay alimony&emdash;even if he was never married --- say to a friend, a pal? Even to someone of the same gender."

"A good lawyer can find money wherever it may be," number three chimed in. "I'd even attach the wages of the guy's newest girlfriend, and her children's savings for college."

"Discovering attachable assets is an adventure," said number four. "If an opera singer's voice or a pianist's hands can be considered assets, there is no reason why a couple's frozen embryos can't be. Even fertility is an asset."

"The court decree would have to be pretty explicit," said number three, "to get positive results from some guy's testicles."

"I knew you were a softly," said number five. "Product liability will be my speciality. Every product has some flaw, some limitation short of expectation that can generate litigation. Choice, is not a factor to be considered; neither is personal responsibility. After all, an individual's right to contract does not supersede a lawyer's right to derive income. If a TV blows up when someone shoots it with a gun, then the TV manufacturer is at fault."

"That true," said number four. "You can even extend liability beyond the parities involved. For example, if one automobile tire maker sells a wheel with a design defect, all manufacturers of similar tires should be liable. But, such an enormous opportunity cannot be fully exploited unless we direct future lawyers to such a gold mine."

"Advertising is the key," said number six. "Customers will be falling all over themselves seeking compensation for every disappointment in life. But how can you ensure that they will litigate? Don't most people forgive and forget unless there is a significant loss?"

"Ha! Your question is the answer," said number five. "Insurance. If people are paying for coverage, most will seek to recover the expense. The greater the insurance premium, and frequency, the more likely the claim."

Number one queried: "would you place non-productive clients in an assigned risk pool? And charge them more? What would people think?"

Number five smiled. "Some may consider it legal protection money; but, if everyone gets it, no one could afford to be uninsured. And, it is one way to recover the cost of our legal malpractice insurance premiums while maintaining a good public image."

"Class action suits are another image-building source of income that we could exploit," said number six. "Americans love giving money to a good cause. Its truly a comedy of conflicts. Property rights and gun control, race and equal opportunity, sexual expression and religion, abortion and parental responsibility, the public's right to know and privacy, choice and safety, owls and logger's jobs, recycling products and pollution; its amazing what people will sacrifice to perpetuate their cause and source of income. There are enough --- and new ones every year&emdash;to keep thousands of lawyers gainfully employed for life."

"But what about people?" Asked number one. "With businesses and people's livelihoods affected, lawyers will need a lot of political muscle. Maybe we could rewrite the constitution to make a law degree a requirement for public office."

"Great idea! Still, I've seen projections indicating that America will have 70% of all the world's lawyers in a decade or so," said number two. "How can we continue being to the highest paid lawyers in the world? We might have to export the excess."

"Do you really think," said number six, "that the Japanese or Germans will let us open branch offices? Lawyers hardly fit into the same trade category as meat, rice or citrus produce. It is a question of competition. With so many new graduates each year, the percentage of those who are well-trained and competent will have to be reduced."

"Well," said number five, "if we could reduce the qualifications for acceptance in law school --- base it on race and gender only rather than academic accomplishment --- then competition will be skewed in favor of those who really were qualified."

"Even better," said number four, "if the professors were hired, based on the same qualifications rather than competency, then even fewer graduates will be up to our standards."

"I understand," said number two, "that in California and another state, law degrees may soon be given based on such limited qualifications. No attendance. No tests. Thank you very much. All that is needed is to override a Governor's veto. But, with so many educationally-challenged graduates, how can we continue to provide good services for the best-paying clients?"

"We can get medical schools to teach doctors how to handle themselves in court," said number five. "We can offer classes in legal-speak. We can test the competency of prospective employees before we hire them. Ask them to read aloud a short Law Review article. Ask them to write a brief description of their law school experiences."

"If you can't afford private schooling for your kids," said number two, "raise your rates."

"Public schools," number three interjected. "You once said that the largest teachers union was being taken over by people dedicated to a new Socialism. That they believe respect comes from political power and everyone associated with educational institutions should be forced by law to pay union dues. That's a lot of money to buy legislative votes."

"So much money, and more each year with property reassessments and Federal aid, that the number of administrators and support professionals will have to be increased by 1000% to absorb it all. Good teachers, with acceptable political credentials, must be given an economic choice for great pay as administrators. Competency certification must be avoided. The poorer the education, the more money can be demanded. Now that is real power and big money. They are going to employ a lot of lawyers."

"Did you ever get the feeling that politically, most Democrats are Socialists at heart," said number one. "Their power base is poor people, the greater the number, the longer they hold on to power. Just blame all the problems on the rich folks. After all, there is a 25% turnover every ten years between rich and poor. The poor who become rich through hard work and making good decisions are more insulting to Socialists than those who never earned their wealth."

"The better-off people can be enlisted to support a Democrat-Socialists party, by association with family-values. Like the environment --- kids love animals --- and world hunger --- advertisements that show only hungry children&emdash;and world peace --- talking resolves all disputes. With Democrat-Socialism, the party becomes the family; fathers and mothers are not --- but lawyers are."

"And as an inducement for party membership, said number two, I bet they will eventually offer credit cards. Think of the prestige. If you got the card, you can prove you care --- even if you are not a entertainer."

"For recreation," Number six smiled and said "we could join the "American Criminal Liberties Union," as it is fondly termed by some. And/or start our own political action committee to lobby for these worthy causes."

"Yes, the future is pregnant with possibilities," said number four.

"Bite your tongue!" retorted number five.

Come on now laugh! Its a joke. Perhaps you don't get it; but, you did.

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