Father I've Killed Myself

You don't know when I'm in here

Not viewable

But still I fill a vacancy

My third self pacing inside

I've waited in here so many years

Just to find

Inside my skin

That things are just as cold out here

Sometimes I don't have the energy

To give all of myself away

To be left empty in here  for all these years

Did I have myself mistaken?

I said I'm going through circles

Father I've killed myself

So I could experience opportunity

Now lately I'm into

The rooting - system

Of our family tree

And how it's managed to live

With so many suicidal branches

Veins are the ropes that keep us bound

And what of the slit wrist

It's just another trap

I have given my last breath and every organ

There's nothing more for them to take from me

Mother, don't know if I can make it

I've gone in too deep this time

I have so many scars 

 lost deep within myself

Under my skin

Behind my eyes

I'm not there anymore

But I never gave you the chance to pull me out

So hard to rescue emptiness

©Littlejoga 14/05/01