The Original Kiss My Ass Club

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0><script> (function(i,s,o,g,r,a,m){i['GoogleAnalyticsObject']=r;i[r]=i[r]||function(){ (i[r].q=i[r].q||[]).push(arguments)},i[r].l=1*new Date();a=s.createElement(o), m=s.getElementsByTagName(o)[0];a.async=1;a.src=g;m.parentNode.insertBefore(a,m) })(window,document,'script','//www.google-analytics.com/analytics.js','ga'); ga('create', 'UA-47423994-1', 'fortunecity.ws'); ga('send', 'pageview'); </script> <center> <br> <div> <script language="javascript" type="text/javascript" src="http://ad.broadcaststation.net/ads/show_ad.php?width=728&height=90"></script> </div> </center> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0><tr> <td valign="top" colspan=2 height=82 BGCOLOR="#006699" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <FONT SIZE="5" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Arial" ><B>whacked Out wrestling (wOw)</B></FONT><B>     |     </B><A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="whacked Out wrestling (wOw)"><U><B>home</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id83.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Tag Team Hell"><U>Tag Team Hell</U></A>   |   <B>The Original Kiss My Ass Club</B>   |   <A HREF="id68.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Vengeance Rant"><U>Vengeance Rant</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id64.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Smackdown: Just Bring it Review"><U>Smackdown: Just Bring it Review</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id62.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Fake Razors Vengeance Preview"><U>Fake Razor's Vengeance Preview</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id54.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="RVD: Threat to society"><U>RVD: Threat to society</U></A></div> <div> </div> </td> </tr><tr> <td valign="top" width=210 BGCOLOR="#FFCC66" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <IMG SRC="106c0900.jpg" border=0 width="192" height="144" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> </td> <td valign="top" height=398 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <I>The Original Kiss My Ass Club</I></div> <div> Recently, Vince McMahon has introduced a "Kiss My Ass Club" on WWF Television.  Basically, a club where you must literally kiss the billionaires ass for a job in the WWF.  </div> <bR> <div> What the common fan doesn't know is that this club has been in existence for years.  There are hundreds of card carrying, ass kissing members in Vince's illustrious club.  Here are some recent inductees:</div> <bR> <div> <B>Billy Gunn</B></div> <div> What can't be said about this walking disaster?  He looks like an Ape.  He has zero talent in the ring, as a matter of fact, I think he has negative talent.  He's the sloppiest wrestler this side of Ahmed Johnson, often injuring others and himself.  Who could forget the two times he dropped Chris Benoit on his head nearly killing or severely injuring him?  That's another thing, Chris f'n Benoit couldn't pull a good match out of the guy.  That should really be a hint to Vince and the other high standing guys that he really sucks.</div> <bR> <div> In his 8 year WWF career, he was only over as a member of DX and tagging with the Road Dogg in the NAO.  That's about 2 years of overness out of 8.  Wake up call, he was only over because he was in the most popular stable in the history of wrestling.  Billy can only get over with a fad.  He was over in the pre DX NAO, but that's because they were a breath of fresh air in the division at the time.  I mean, would you rather watch the NAO or The Bodydonnas and The Godwinns?</div> <bR> <div> Lets see, he has no ring ability, little to no charisma, and he's injury prone.  Chris Beniot couldn't pull a good match out of him and a feud with The Rock couldn't get him over in his singles career.   Other then that, he's great!</div> <bR> <div> Besides The Undertaker and Bob Holly, he's been in WWF longer then anyone else.  Billy isn't just a member of the Kiss My Ass Club, he's the president and also a member of the Pat Patterson "Suck my Dick" club.</div> <bR> <div> Read more about the debacle that is Billy Gunn at the <A HREF="http://theonewhosucks.tripod.com/" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://theonewhosucks.tripod.com"><U>Billy Bitchcakes site!</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <B>Charles Wright</B></div> <div> Better known as The Godfather to today's fans.  Wright has NO in ring ability.  He's slow and lumbering in the ring.  Probably one of the worst Intercontinental champions we've ever seen.  </div> <bR> <div> Alright, the room for argument here is that Wright is usually over, but he can't get over without an insanely goofy gimmick.  The man really has little charisma.  I mean, look at his previous gimmicks in the WWF, The Godfather, The Goodfather, Kama, and everybody's favorite voodoo master, Papa Shango.  He was over with all of these gimmicks for a while.  The problem with these gimmicks is that they have no depth.  They grow stale fast.  When they reach the unwatchable stage, Wright is taken off TV and given another goofy gimmick.</div> <bR> <div> <B>Jonathan Coachman</B></div> <div> God, I'd rather listen to Rob Bartlett then The Coach.  By joining the Kiss My Ass Club, this bumbling idiot landed a spot hosting Excess with Trish.  The guy obviously has no knowledge of the wrestling world, just by some of the comments he makes on Excess and in other situations.  </div> <bR> <div> Also, he has an annoying high voice, which is so unconvincing and insincere.  He is obviously not cut out to be an announcer.  His voice shows no emotion at all.  He makes Jeff Hardy look like Robert DeNiro on some occasions.  He's one of those people you just want to smack, especially when he makes corny jokes about how lucky he is to be so close to Trish or Stacy Keibler.</div> <bR> <div> Sad part is, I'm pretty sure this guy used to be a color commentator for a football team.  Can you imagine sitting there on a Sunday and listening to The Coach for 3 hours?</div> <bR> <div> <B>Haku</B></div> <div> Why did they bring him back?  We already had a fat Samoan with twice the ability of Haku, and that's really saying something about Haku, because I'm talking about Rikishi.  Bringing him back made about as much sense as rehiring Virgil.</div> <bR> <div> He has little in ring ability, and his charisma stretches as far as his obesity and huge Afro.</div> <bR> <div> His return didn't have much impact, and he was quickly depushed to Metal.  Why would Vince even considering signing him with such a stocked roster?  </div> <bR> <div> Easy, "MENG!!! KISS MAH ASS!!!!!!"</div> <bR> <div> <B>Jacqueline </B></div> <div> It's really too bad about Jacky, she used to be decent in the ring for a woman.  Then Vince slapped a huge pair of tits on her, and her in ring skill plummeted. That was really the only thing saving her too.  Jacky isn't too much in the looks department (I'm not saying it because she's black, its because she's unattractive).</div> <bR> <div> She really isn't on TV too often, except for occasionally managing the APA, or inserted in the one women's match a month.</div> <bR> <div> Too bad, this one was Vince's fault in a way, by making her get implants.</div> <bR> <div> <B>FakeRazor</B></div> <bR> <div> Reach FakeRazor at loxrdastreets@hotmail.com</div> <bR> <bR> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>