| DISCLAIMER: Torn Asunder Registry or it's operatives are not responsible for any losses resulting from following advise or opinions on this page. These opinions are reflected by personal experience, and the experiences communicated by other Triad members. They are only meant to show you a representation of dealings with this agency so that you will be aware of possible pitfalls to avoid. Your experience may be different, so please weigh your options and formulate your own opinions, in order to make choices that are right for you. |
IMPORTANT NOTE: CHS of Florida has recently changed its' way of doing things. They now have a centralized office in Jacksonville, to take care of requests for non-id and searches. The theory is that this "Adoption Archive Unit" will make things easier on those searching, and that information can be supplied faster. The fees I have been quoted for non-id, since this change, have DOUBLED, and the new procedure is somewhat confusing.
All fees must be paid in advance, and there are no guarantees or refunds if the search proves unsuccessful. CHS will no longer accept personal checks. Payment can be made by Visa, Master card, money order, or certified bank check. A "sliding scale" is available for those that cannot afford services. Need is evaluated on a case by case basis. If you think you might qualify ask for the paper work. |
As of 12/00 the fee for non-id is $100.00, which includes a fee for accessing your file, and ONE hour of search or prep time. This involves medical & history non-identifying information ONLY. Formerly the average charged by CHS was $20.00 for accessing your file, and another $30.00 for transcribing the non-id and sending it to you. |
Search/Contact/Counseling (or their CI program) now runs $350.00. This includes; accessing your file, FOUR hours of search time, and telephone counseling prior to reunion. If you request background info (non-id) at the same time the cost is the same but they reduce search hours to THREE. In the past this search program varied GREATLY between divisions, and you were able to specify how many search hours were invested. Some birth mother's for instance were able to find their children while paying only $100.00, depending upon which division they went through. |
I was told by the Social Worker that this 2 hour minimum was necessary because "If we haven't found them in 3-4 hours, 1 more hour isn't going to make any difference." My advise on this subject is to skip their search program for the time being, and see what you can do on your own first. These Social Workers are using many of the same databases as Volunteers and Search Angels in the adoption community. Ask around and see what can be done for free or for a minimum cost. If a Social Worker (who has in her possession a name, DOB, POB, past address, and the names of family members) cannot find someone using the vast array of databases available within FOUR hours, I think it is indicative of a problem!! Only if you feel that you do not have the time or emotional strength to search on your own, or if you have hit a brick wall, should you consider giving this agency the opportunity to make more money off of you than they already have. THIS CI PROGRAM IS DISCUSSED ELSEWHERE ON THIS PAGE |
There is no charge for adding supplemental information to your file, such as name or address changes, or current medical information. |
Applying For Services
Depending upon your place in the Triad consult the following information for who you should contact. You will then be provided with the necessary forms for requesting services. The forms are lengthy, and there are further instructions about which parts to fill out in which circumstances. (example: in this case parts 1,2,5 or in another 1-4 and 6) (My packet was 10 pages long, and this did not include the medical update forms which I had already filled out.) Forms must be notarized and returned with 2 forms of identification.
|
ADOPTEES: must be 18 years old and provide proof of identity. According to CHS the adoptive parents WILL NOT be notified. |
|
ADOPTIVE PARENTS: If your child is under 5 years of age or was adopted within the last 5 years and you have been making periodic updates to the birthparent(s) you should continue contact with the division that coordinated the adoption. If your child is over 5 years of age or it has been more than 5 years since the last update
Contact: If your child is 18 or older go to the instructions for Adoptee. |
|
BIRTHPARENTS: If your child is under 5 years of age, or adopted within the last 5 years, and you have continued making periodic updates, then you are to continue dealing with the same division you have been. If the child is over 5 years of age, or it has been 5 years since your last update contact: If the birthmother's name has changed since services were rendered (ie. marriage) than she must be prepared to show identification that connects the former name to the new name (ie marriage certificate). |
Be prepared for the run around when dealing with this agency. They will tell you they are under staffed and under funded. In my own situation I have been trying to get non-id from this agency for 2 years and am no closer to it than I was when I started. I have spoken to at least a half dozen Social Workers, and have made 25+ long distance phone calls. (This is in addition to the numerous phone calls to the 800 number, and forms and written correspondence.) I have been told that people I have spoken to never worked for the agency, and had fees raised even after CHS has cashed my check. The last SW that I spoke to told me that there are still open active searches dating back to 1996. (This doesn't give me a warm fuzzy feeling about contracting with them for search services-though in all fairness the new Archive Unit may serve to improve the situation. We will have to wait and see.) The new paper work says to allow 4 weeks after they receive your check, identification and paper work, before hearing ANYTHING from them. (Notice they say "anything", they do not say before you will receive information or services. In the past this "warning" has always ended up meaning "before we notify you that you have been placed on a waiting list for services.") Their paper work goes on to say "don't call us we will call you. Unless it is an emergency your are wasting time that we could be used for searching." |
|
TIP: Do not call the agency every day for updates. Instead ask the SW upfront what will be a reasonable period of time before hearing from her or ask for bi-weekly updates. If you do not hear from the agency withing a reasonable time THEN contact them either by phone or written inquiry. Don't allow too much time to go by without some type of update. In the past files ended up buried, you want to make sure yours stays active. |
Most offices have a poor record for returning phone calls. It has been my experience that not only do they have a poor record of returning calls, they go so far as to say they had called when they hadn't. Each time that I called them I left a specific 3 hour time frame that I would be available daily for them to return my call. When they said they would call me I sat by the phone, only to be told later that they had been unable to contact me. (Had they tried they would have found me home, or my answering machine would have picked up.) |
|
TIP: If it is at all possible during your search, make sure that you have an answering machine for use when not at home. Mail boxes supplied by your phone company are ideal especially if you only have one phone line, and you are worried about using your computer to search while you wait for calls. You don't want to miss phone calls from this agency or anyone else in regards to your search. This agency has a tendency to put you back on a waiting list if they can't reach you. |
CHS has recently begun asking for email addresses as a means of contact. In my opinion this can have both pros and cons, and to some degree makes me a little nervous given the track record I have experienced with CHS. On the plus side, CHS will no longer have the excuse that they have been unable to reach you. Email allows for almost immediate correspndence, so there will be no more waiting for things that supposedly "are in the mail." Another plus is that you will automatically have a copy of the mail they send. Make sure you set aside a folder and SAVE everything that they write to you so that its easy to find. (As an extra precaution print out the letters, since you never know when a computer glitch may cause them to be lost forever.) On the negative, with no more than a minimum of effort, caseworkers will know what you have posted and where, whether it be a registry, email group or whatever. Your emotions, frustrations and lifestyle are none of their business, unless you choose to divulge that information to them. Experience tells me that whatever information they know about you may influence how they handle your case. |
|
TIP: Set up an email account that has Instant Messenger capabilities. Keep this name reserved for CHS business ONLY. This will keep your private business private, and still allow for email contact with them. The IM capabilities will allow them to pass an initial means of contact on to your bio family, should you ask them to. |
CHS seems to be more sensitive to the needs of the adoptees than the Birth Family. If you are a Birth Parent be prepared. These Social Workers will try to "push your buttons" to see if you are serious about your search, and they are trained to do it. My own personal experience tells me that most birthmother's will not receive the same level of compassion and concern from this agency, as they did at the time they surrendered their children. By the time I had made my second phone call to this agency I found myself to be on the defensive, guarding against their insensitive remarks, and rude questions.
|
CHS is in the adoption business~not the reunion business. Occasionally you will encounter a "kind hearted" Social Worker who understands how important reunion is to Triad members, but most are just doing a job required by demand. Because they don't understand the emotional needs of the adoptee (towards finding one's heritage, medical, or personal history) or the needs of the birth parent (to know once and for all what has happened to their child, and that their decision was right), they may at times appear callous and insensitive. Do not allow their attitude to determine yours!!! |
TIP: Attempt to build a rapport with your case worker, but never loose sight of the fact that this is a business relationship not a friendship. |
Social Workers will not go out of their way to make anything happen for you, or to volunteer information that you don't specifically ask for. During all of my conversations with CHS I was NEVER told what I could expect to receive from them in the way of history or medical information. Instead, each time I talked to them I was forced to ask "what about this?" only to hear "no we can't give you that information." (Included in this "no", was access to my own counseling records. ~What the SWs had written about me, or any notes they had made during my many contacts with their office.) I have to wonder if they are embarrassed by their own record keeping, hiding the fact that I WAS NEVER COUNSELED, or covering their tales because of the lies told to me throughout the process. |
You will probably go through a multitude of caseworkers, and most will keep very poor notes. My personal experience is that they are less than honest in their dealings, especially with the birthmother's. I was frequently told that I had not talked to people (who's names I had recorded) and that such people had NEVER worked for their office. On more than one occasion I have also had fees changed, or been told certain things by social workers, only to have the new one assigned to my case, tell me that they had no notes to that effect, so it was as if it never happened. |
TIP: Keep accurate notes when dealing with this agency!!! Be sure to record the names of people your have spoken with, the date, and a summary of the conversation. Make copies of ALL forms that you are asked to return to them. Follow up telephone conversations with letters to verify what the conversation was about, and to confirm what you where told, so that it becomes part of the record. |
Periodic updates that you make, items you ask to be included in the file or sent to the adoptive family, may never make it. I have spoken to more than one birth mother that has sent periodic updates, address changes, medical info, photos, or even items like baby bracelets, all intended to be added to the files or sent to the adoptive family. Many birthmother's find upon reunion, that those items NEVER became part of the record, and simply disappeared. In one story that was told to me the SW actially had the nerve to tell the Birth Mother that she had kept pictures the Bmom had sent for the file, thinking that they were intended for her personally. In my own case I was surprised to find out that CHS does not even forward medical updates to my son. He must request them. My personal medical information has changed drastically since he was surrendered, and he has no way of knowing that. There is important information in that file that he should be advised of TODAY. Instead, should he desire to find out about his own health, he must place himself on a waiting list, and then wait for whatever might be sent to him. It would seem to me if this agency truly had the well-being of the adoptee at heart, that it would be routine practice to forward that medical information immediately. |
TIP: When sending updates or other items to CHS send them "certified mail." That way you have a permanent record of who received them. Follow up with correspondence asking for a reply as to whether they received them, and what action they took. |
**Make sure you place a notarized waiver of confidentiality in your file, and update your file as your address or name changes. You want to create a paper trail that makes finding you easy. |
There seems to be no accountability in the Confidential Intermediary program (and other glitches.) Over the time that I have run this registry and been involved with numerous email groups, it has become apparent that the services CHS offers in the way of their CI program, and what you get may be two different things. I have spoken to several birth mothers first hand who have told me of stories involving CI's and outright lies. In some of these cases, after investing money into the CI program to the tune of several hundred dollars, birthmothers were told that contact with their children had been made, and that the child did not wish to pursue reunion of any type with the Bmom. The Bmom's continued to search and eventually made contact with their children, only to find out that the CI HAD NEVER CONTACTED THEIR CHILDREN.To be fair to this agency, it must also be pointed out that there have also been stories that tell of compassionate CI's, who have gone above and beyond the call of duty, and have found children for fees less than the going rate amongst the various divisions. I must also mention that their seems to be a real difference in how the adoptees are treated in their searches, and how the birth family is treated. From all appearances it seems as though CHS feels it has some continuing obligation to the adoptee and adoptive parents, but that their responsibility to the birth family ended once the child had been placed with them. |
TIP: Ask the SW specifically what steps are planned for the search and how it will be conducted. Also ask for periodic updates in writing (say after each 1 hour search period) describing what steps (in detail) have been taken. (It is not necessary for them to release identifying information, to keep you abreast of their search steps.) If you feel that your search time is being wasted contact a supervisor!! |
TIP FOR ADOPTEES: Consider asking your parents to get involved if you decide to go the CI route. CHS's first obligation seems to be to them. With both of you working on the same side, CHS will know you are serious. |
When contemplating using the CI program, offered by CHS, it is important that you understand that in doing so you afford CHS the opportunity to completely orchestrate your reunion. They decide which search steps to take, when a search is finished (or impossible to complete), as well as how and when you meet your bio family. According to their paperwork they offer the following options concerning reunion (once your bio family has been located): |
TIP: If you choose to go through the CI program and are offered these choices, attempt to go for the fastest means of contact, and during that initial contact, release all means of contact to the other party. (Put your full name, address and phone in a letter, or give it over the phone.) This will take your reunion out of the hands of a middle man. |
| What I have written here may indeed sound harsh, especially in describing an agency that supposedly "cares" for children, and has as its' motto "Helping Turn Lives Around", but it is the truth. I know that not all will share this opinion of CHS, but I can tell you from what I have heard, and experienced, there are enough Triad members voicing the same complaints, for it to be evidence of a problem.
I can only hope that this agency spends some effort on turning themselves around, and that they become educated in the psychological needs of those they are supposed to be helping. I know if any other "business" had operated with the same morals and ethics as this agency, they would have been put out of business long ago. Perhaps if enough Triad members begin to voice their complaints (both to the agency and the BB Association) this agency will change their methods of operation. Until then, they will continue to take advantage of desperate Triad members, and profit from the adoption community. Had I known then what I know now, there is NO WAY I would have used this agency, for it is apparent that they do not have the best interests of my child at heart. I would caution any birth mother thinking of placing a child through this agency to think long and hard about that decision, and to make sure you have EVERYTHING in writing. I have learned from personal experience, what you are promised with this agency, is not what you will get in the end. I was promised counseling throughout my pregnancy and AFTER relinquishment. (I saw a counselor exactly 2 times and that was because I demanded to see my son before I would sign papers.) No where along the line was I told that counseling through their agency would cost me!!!! When I finally received my non-id from CHS I was told that I had had 12 counseling sessions in just as many weeks, which is pure fabrication. I was promised that non-id would be sent to me after my child was placed in the adoptive parents home. It never was. Again, I was never told that it would ever cost me a cent. Nor was I told that I would have to fight with this agency for almost 2 years, document the lies, and eventually threaten to sue this agency after they cashed my check and still failed to provide the information in a timely manner. (It was almost 1 year to the date after cashing my check that I finally received non-id). I was told that my son would receive medical information about me. Never was I told that he would have to beg to get it. I was never told that I had a period of time in which to change my mind about my son's surrender, or any of the other options I had available to me. Had I been, he would be with me now. Never was I told that I could put updates in his file, or attempt a search or contact after he had been placed in his new home. Never was I told that the fees would change, that birth dates could be altered, or that the rules of the game could be changed along the way. I could go on.....as could so many other Birth Mothers, but I think enough evidence has been presented to make you VERY wary when dealing with this agency in any way!!! |
FROM A BIRTHMOTHER...I think it is a travesty that they charge money for the non-id. This is something you should be entitled to without having to pay for it. I did not know CHS charged money for it and it disgusts me. " FROM AN ADOPTEE"I called them to get it and they said for a non-id medical only it was free, but for a non-id full background it is $100. It takes 5 months for both of them. I don't like it either especially when it is something that I am legally entitled to. I mean after all, it isn't telling me who my bp are, just some background info about my life. " |
If you agree with these Triad members, why not consider writing letters to the agency, the Governor, and to all their cooperate sponsors??