THe British Goverment's policy of socialized has recently been broaden
to include a service called "Proxy Fathers". Under the goverment plan,
any married woman who is unable to become pregant through the first five
years of her marriage, may request the service of a proxy father; a
goverment employee who attempt to solve the couple's problem by
impreganting the wife.

The Smiths, a young couple, have no children and a proxy father is due
to arrive. Leaving for work, Mr Smith says," I'm off. The goverment man
should be here soon." Moments later, a door-to-door baby photographer
rings the bell..........

Mrs Smith: Good morning.

Salesman : Good morning madam. You don't know me but I've come to..........

Mrs Smith: No need to explain, I've been expecting you.

Salesman : Really? Well good. I've made a specialty of babies, especially twins.

Mrs Smith: That's what my husband and I hope. Please come in and have a seat.

Salesman : (sitting) Then you don't need to be sold on the idea?

Mrs Smith: Don't concern yourself. My husband and I both agree that this is the 
right thing to do.

Salesman : Well, perhaps we should get down to it.

Mrs Smith: (blushing) Just where do we start?

Salesman : Just leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one 
on the couch but mostly on the bed. Sometimes the living room floors allows the 
subject to really spread out.

Mrs Smith: Bathtub? Living room floor? No wonder it hasn't work out for me and 
Harry.

Salesman : Well madam, none of us can garantee a good one everytime, but we try 
several locations and I shoot from six to seven angles, I'm sure you'll be 
pleased with the results. In fact, my business card says," I aim to please."

Mrs Smith: Pardon me, but isn't this a little informal?

Salesman : Madam, in my line of work, a man must be ease and able to take his 
time. I'd love to be in and then out in five minutes, but you'll be 
dissapointed with that.

Mrs Smith: Don't know! Have you had much success with that?

Salesman : (opening his briefcase and finding baby pictures) Just look at this 
picture. Believe it or not, it was done on top of a bus in downtown London.

Mrs Smith: Oh my!

Salesman : And here are pictures of the prettiest twins in town. They turn out 
exceptionally well when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.

Mrs Smith: She was?

Salesman : Yes. I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her down to Hyde Park to 
get the job done right. I've never worked under such impossible conditions. 
People were crowding around four or five deep, pushing each other to get a 
good look.

Mrs Smith: Four or five deep?

Salesman : Yes and for more than three hours too. The mother got so excited 
that she started bouncing around, squealing and yelling at the crowd. I just 
couldn't concentrate so I had to ask the couple of men to restrain her. By the 
time darkness, I began to rush my shots.  When the squirrels starts nibbling on 
my equipment, I had to packed it all in.

Mrs Smith: You mean that they actually chewed... eh... on your equipment?

Salesman : That's right, but it all in a day's work. I consider my work a 
pleasure. I've spent years perfecting my patented techique. Now take this baby, 
I shot this one in the front window of a big department store.

Mrs Smith: I just can't believe it!

Salesman : Well madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so that we can 
get down to work right away.

Mrs Smith: TRIPOD!?!

Salesman : Oh yes. I have to use a tripod to rest my equipment on. It's too 
much heavy and unwieldly for me to hold while I'm shooting...  Mrs Smith?... 
Mrs Smith?... My god, she's fainted