Home Authority

Competition in "the battle of the sexes" is causing far too many
marital casualities. We live in an era of the 50/50 marriage which is
resulting in a more than 50 percent divorce rate, even in the Church.
When Jesus was asked to comment about divorce, He turned the answer
around to tell us what was intended from the beginning. (Mark 10:6-9)
The Scripture that speaks about wives submitting to their husbands has
been abused by some men, and this has caused a backlash against this
passage so that its original intent is difficult to see.
 
Christian men are confused about what authority is and how we should
express it in our homes as husbands and fathers.  My dad once joked
that "man is the head of the home... and wife is the neck that turns
the head."  In other words, because the head does not turn without the
neck, a husband and wife must work in concert too.  The truth in this
humor is often overlooked because of the problem most people (not just
wives) have with submitting to authority.
 
Effective authority is granted, not grasped.  Pilate thought he had
power over Jesus but Jesus corrected this misperception by saying "You
could have no power over me, except what has been given to you from
above."  Jesus told us that even His authority was given to Him by the
Father. Jesus also submitted to his earthly parents and to other
appropriate authorities.  He modelled how husbands can exhibit the
dual role of having authority and yet "submitting one to another."
(Mt. 20:25-28)
 
As husbands, we need to understand the difference between being an
authoritarian and having authority.  The authoritarian "lords it over
others."  The authoritative husband actively develops skills and
experience at "loving as Christ loved."
 
A husband has only as much authority in the home as a submissive wife
will grant.  If I receive any credit for being a good husband and
father, much of it can be directly attributed to my wife, Joy, because
she sets the stage and makes it easier for me to be the husband that
God intended for marriage.  God created the husband and wife
relationship as a picture of His relationship with His people.
 
The passage in Ephesians 5 is still the best safeguard against divorce
when we take the time to understand what was intended from the
beginning; where each spouse gives their self completely to the other
without condition. Paul emphasizes this spiritual reality about
marriage by saying "I speak [of the mystery] concerning Christ and the
Church."  (v. 32)
 
Christ's relationship to His Bride, the Church, shows us that
masculine leadership in a relationship is not domineering, but
sacrificial.  Further, love never forces itself on anyone.  Jesus
demonstrates this by inviting us into a love relationship with Him,
but He enters only when we willingly open ourselves to Him.  Then, as
the Scriptures say, we will no longer be two, but one!