Good Grief

We had discussed the eventuality of having a parent die, hoping to
meet it with open eyes.  We even had some forewarning when my wife's
mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer, giving us just three weeks
before she was taken.  We had the blessing of time to say last things;
she had the mercy of a swift illness. Despite our preparation and
breif advance notice, the news of her death on April 30, 1997 was
jarring and devastating. We were involuntarily inducted into the
membership of the mourning. Millie Crawford left us behind when God
called her home.
 
I got the news at work.  As I rushed home, I choked out a very
difficult prayer of thanks for God's mercy.  Then I wept like I have
never wept before, overcome with a grief that I had not previously
understood.  I learned in a moment the stark difference between
sympathizing with someone in mourning and experiencing it for myself.
 
Before the services, the family gathered privately around the casket
that contained my mother-in-law's body; a new wave of sorrow
overwhelmed us all and we wept again uncontrollably.  Not for the last
time.
 
During those numbing few days, I was consoled a bit by the shortest
verse in the Bible: "Jesus wept."  When tears flow unabated, this
verse is most powerful because it communicates a God who is in touch
with our deepest and strongest emotions.
 
We may wonder if Jesus can really know our anguish. After all, how
could He really be sad when He knew Lazarus was not lost?
 
Jesus knows what it is to be separated from those He loves, because of
sin.  We who mourn catch a fresh glimpse of Jesus' sorrow over lost
loved ones when he cried, "How often I have wanted to gather you under
my wings... but you would not."  More than feeling our grief, Jesus
owns our loss through true empathy and sorrow.
 
It helps when someone actually knows what you are going through.  The
Psalmist wrote: "Surely he has borne our griefs and our sorrows."
Jesus really does understand the difficulties we face, and he
EMPATHIZES with us.
 
I am glad for a Savior who can weep with me when I am bereaved and
broken.  Stiff-upper-lipping it through the deep waters is not manly,
nor is it healthy.  We grieve, and we cry, because God created us
emotional beings in His image. And we must go on.  There is a time for
everything.
 
Knowing Jesus has not taken away our grief nor our loss.  But we do
not grieve as others who have no hope.  Our loss is only a temporary
separation.  Jesus is the Resurrection and the Life; not even death
can separate us from the love of God.  Grief and joy are intermingled
because our Companion has assured us that He will never leave us nor
forsake us, and has also promised to see us faithfully through.