Subject: Weekend Update: March 18-25, 2001
Date: Mon, 26 Mar 2001 13:36:46 -0500

Last week, I was in Portland, Oregon on a business trip, the main
focus of which had to do with strategizing. But the greater underlying
theme of my trip was to have what white collar industries call "face
time" with a number of people.  While many of you on this distribution
list might consider such trips as "free vacations" and "corporate
boondoggles", I have discovered potential [latent] value to "face
time" because it goes a long way to demystifying a bogeyman that 3000
miles of separation can create in the imaginations of others.  That's
an eclectic way of responding to the question, "How was your trip?"
because the question can be answered in many ways.  The trip was good
in many respects, but not one that I'd chasracterize in the "had a
great time and a lot of fun" bucket.  That kind of trip (a
schmooze-fest) will come in late April.

I was concerned much of the week with the weather forecast that
sounded more and more like I was going to spend a lot of Thursday in
Chicago.  Thankfully, back east remained rainy and all my flights
arrived on time.  Joy met me at the airport, glad to turn the reigns
of the car and activity over to me.  She has been trying to remain as
active as she can (and had to be in my absence) and by Friday, she
reliquished herself to the couch acknowledging that just about any
activity now puts her into pains without intervening medication.

Joy and I met with her doctor on Friday to discuss the particulars of
her scheduled surgery.  She told Joy what she should do to prepare for
the surgery, what would happen during the surgery including possible
risks and complications (none of which are foreseen with Joy's
record), and what she can and cannot do after the surgery.  I was also
informed about what I can and cannot do after the surgery, until Joy
gets an OK from her doctor after six weeks of recuperating.  The
doctor made a circle with her thumbs and forefingers to indicate that
the cyst inside Joy had grown to about the size of a tennis ball or
baseball.  Despite this, we were pleased to hear that Joy should be
returning to small activity at around the third week (I thought it
would be quit a bit longer).  She should progressively feel better
throughout her convalescence - with the stern warning again to not do
anything to jeopardize the healing process.  So my task will be to
keep Joy from doing things when she feels like she can - which is no
easy task as many of you know if you know Joy at all; or if I was
honest, if you know me at all. ;-) We're ready; we've been ready for
weeks. Let's get this over with.

Our four children were active this weekend.  Andrew finished his paper
route and biked to his friends house for an all-nighter birthday
celebration. Notice I do not mention "sleep-over" because they did not
sleep. But you pay the piper and he was dragging pretty severely the
next day.  Emily fared little better.  We dropped her off at the
Rand's home and she went to the final quiz meet of the season up in
Nashua, New Hampshire. I understand that some sleep was part of the
program but she was fairly well-taxed over the weekend.  After
swapping Emily and Andrew out for part of the weekend, Joy and I went
to Quincy to pick up our college girls who are on Spring Break.  There
I met a Young man whom Jessica asked if I would take him to the T so
that he could get to the airport and catch a flight to Virginia.  I
said, "sure."  After we got them home, Miranda packed her Spring Break
trip to Florida on Sunday with a couple of her friends.  I keep
telling myself that she is [almost] 21, and I do trust her.  And I
KNOW that I was 19 when I got married but I still have those paternal
pangs over my 21-year old (and also the 18-, 15-, and 12-year olds).
I hope she has a good and safe time!

On Saturday, Brice Allen and shirt-tail relative Artie showed up and
towed Ol' Lazarus away to make it road-worthy again for the college
girls this summer.  I told the girls they could paint Lazarus if they
like (because it has flaking paint on its roof).

Some other things happened on Saturday that I want to note in my
journal: Andrew and Melissa Crawford had a healthy baby boy, Simeon.
Rich and Wendy attended a funeral for a miscarried child in her
extended family. I also found out today that Paul Weiss died that day,
of a brain tumor, three years from when he was first diagnosed. Paul
was a member of a Christian bulletin board (Digital Notes Conference)
that I once co-moderated. Many have aptly referred to him as a gentle
giant.  Joy and sorrow, elation and grief, life and death - on a day
most of the rest of us might consider ordinary.  Upon consideration,
it was an ordinary day.

I tried to dissuade Joy from going to church Sunday morning, but she
was resolute.  I am glad she got out of the house although she felt it
afterward.  I invited the Magnusons home with us so Michael and Andrew
could play together, and we could enjoy an afternoon of good
company. (Emily was off to some cancelled teen meeting which brought
the home population down a bit.)  We enjoyed a love gift of food that
people have thoughtfully prepared for us so Joy wouldn't have to.  It
isn't that I can't or won't cook, you know.  However, we are VERY
grateful to Amy and Stella (and other volunteers to come!) for their
delicious expressions of love and compassion.  I told Amy yesterday
how hard it is for people to accept help from others, and yet we do
see the opportunity in it for others to enjoy the blessing of giving.
Sounds funny and self-serving, I suppose, especially when we are the
benefactors of those gifts.  My dad taught me on a day that I
accompanied him on one of his hospital visitations, "it is better to
give than it is to receive [and in many respects it is EASIER to give
than receive], but to refuse a gift is to rob another of the blessing
they might have." It was a lesson in grace that I try to take to
heart, in my marriage with Joy, and with others as well, gratefully
and sincerely receiving.  In doing so, it makes me into a better
giver.

Mark
--
+---_-----------+ Mark Metcalfe, metcalfe@cadence.com
| c a d e n c e | Cadence Design Systems, Inc.    Phone: (978) 446-6451
+---------------+ PCB Systems Division, Technical Communications Manager