Subject: Weekend Update: April 6-8
Date: Mon, 09 Apr 2001 11:34:13 -0400

There is nothing that underscores the importance of someone's role to
a smooth functioning household than when you have that person
incapacitated.  Life goes on pretty well if I am laid up with some
illness. However, even with my mother's great help (for which I am
very, very grateful), I am (re)discovering some of the energies that
Joy normally expends as a matter of course.

One week later, Joy gets to shower and dress (I help her with her
socks) and makes a morning trip down the stairs to a recliner in the
barn.  She sits in the recliner except for trips to the bathroom.
Getting up is a chore, and the walk to the bathroom and back is a
labor.  But there is improvement to measure and we are setting our
expectations to pull through the time it takes for her recovery to be
complete.  We want to take things "by the numbers", which means NO
ACTIVITY for Joy for another two weeks, when she may be able to walk
to the corner and back.  In five weeks, she gets a check-up and
hopefully a clean bill of health.

My mother, who has High School teacher and college professor in her
background, has been an influential disciplinarian for Joy, warning
her against doing anything outside of the prescribed total rest.  My
Dad, who is supplying as interim Pastor in Manchester, Connecticutt,
has sacrificed as much by giving Mom up for a week.  They reconnect
this week and Mom gives up her shift on Wednesday.

I've played Mr. Mom a lot this week, although not with as much grace
as I should.  I might grunt and moan and delay in getting something
for my chair-bound wife, which would make her feel bad as if she was a
burden to me.  We had a good talk about it.  I have asked her to
ignore my grumblings because they are in no way indicative of my
feelings for her - I want her to recuperate as quickly and as
completely as possible; which means that I actually WANT to help her -
but the complaints come from my own sedentary self having a new
routine.  For her part, she also has to come to grips with her own new
(albeit temporary) routine of not doing anything for a while.  She
also needs to understand and accept that the rest of us will not be
able to do things in a way that only she can (in running the
household). So we are adjusting.  This is our lot for a while.

Emily and Andrew participated in a 30-hour fast to raise money for
starving children on Friday and Saturday.  They joined their teen
group at the church, which left me with Andrew's paper route on
Saturday.  My mother was positively gleeful that I was covering for
Andrew because she recounted times when my own father had to cover for
me as a paperboy.  "Payback" she'd say.  Fortunately, I have driven
Andrew on his route to know much of it, but it was Joy who told me
specifics about certain houses and where customers like their
papers. (Joy has done the route herself from time to time.)

I stole an hour away from the house Saturday afternoon and went to
Rich and Wendy's place for a brief lesson in pruning trees; imparting
what little I know.  (I suppose that could be a dangerous thing.)  I
handed Wendy my good branch loppers and she started hacking away at
one of their trees.  She enjoyed herself so much, she even climbed
into the tree to get at some upper branches.  I hope I haven't created
a monster - I'll get my pruning book over to her so she doesn't hack
too much from certain trees.  (Some trees only take about 10% pruning
in a year and not all trees are pruned at the same time during the
year.)  The snow was still up to my knees in places of their yard!
Yikes!  I think we're on the fast track to a melt down, though.

The snow melt collects in the back yard near the swing set and
basketball court.  I have a railroad tie that divides the two, and
someone for the second year in a row dug it up.  I thought it was the
neighbor behind me and I was screwing up the courage to confront him
about asking me before coming onto my property to dig up my
landscaping.  But Saturday morning, the neighbor next to me told me
that he'd done the deed because he thinks it dams up the water from
running off and it back up in his yard.  I was so relieved that I had
not yet confronted the other neighbor that I didn't bother to wonder
aloud whether my ground level railroad tie made a difference to the
water flow and who was going to replace it when the water receded.

Saturday evening was devoted to practice for the Easter cantata, which
is coming together.  However, I am bit concerned about performing it
twice on Sunday (9:30, 11:00) because once through taxes the vocal
chords.  For all you non-Lowell-Nazarenes on the list in this area,
there will be a Maundy Thursday (7PM) and Saturday matinee (2PM)
performance; it will be well-worth your efforts to enjoy one of these.

The college girls come home this week although the exact plans are not
fully developed.  We should have them home though in time to cover
Joy's needs for the end of the week and to help out cooking Easter
Dinner.  There will be ham and Coca-Cola!  :-)

Miranda turned 21 on Saturday. Now I can't tell her what to do
anymore. Jessica and her other college friends gave her a surprise
party.  We hope to celebrate a bit this week ourselves when she is
home.

Mark

P.S. Thanks for the flowers, the cards, the phone calls, the
visits, and the meals.  Only five more weeks of recovery!
--
+---_-----------+ Mark Metcalfe, metcalfe@cadence.com
| c a d e n c e | Cadence Design Systems, Inc.    Phone: (978) 446-6451
+---------------+ PCB Systems Division, Technical Communications Manager