Date: Mon, 22 Apr 2002 15:36:04 -0400
Subject: Weekend Update: The Western Caribbean Cruise - April 6-20, 2002

NOTE: This journal entry is quite a bit longer than my usual updates.
Read at your own risk (or print for later consumption). :-)
--

There wasn't much for me to do at work on Friday, April 5.  I had spent
the week, cleaning out my file folders, my email folders, even cleaning
my desk, all in preparation for being away from work for two entire
weeks.

I left work a little early that day, with the boss's knowledge and
blessing.

I wanted to get a haircut for the aniticpated warm weather in the Gulf
of Mexico.  I stopped in at Supercuts but they wanted me to wait.  I
wasn't interested in sitting around and thought that I'd try Mel the 
Barber in Pepperell.  I figured that no matter what he'd do to me, I'd
have two weeks to get accustomed to it before others pointed at me and
hid their children.

If you remember Floyd the Barber of Mayberry, you'll have a good
picture of Mel.  There was no wait.  In fact, there was no Mel until I
turned around to walk out of the antique and empty barber shop.  "How
would you like your hair cut?" he asked as if it mattered and as if he
had more than one style to cut.  "Long enough to comb and short enough
not to care for it" I answered and with that he went to work, all the
time telling me about old Pepperell.  When he was through, my ears
could feel the sun; something I'd come to notice even more on the
cruise.

Jessica's friend, Brooke Pate, bought us an underwater camera;
something we had neglected to get in our vacation preparations. We had
been packed  for a whole week into two large suitcases and a backpack
to get us through 11 days in the Caribbean and an extra day in New
Orleans.

We arose at 4AM on April 6, the 90th anniversary of the Titanic's maiden
(and only) voyage.  Miranda accompanied us to the airport and we said
goodbye.
A few minutes later, Joy realized that she still had her winter coat on,
which meant that she had to cart it all the way to the boat.  Travel to
New Orleans was uneventful and on time; something I had been concerned
about for several preceding weeks.

Meanwhile back at home and unbeknownst to us, before we even got on
our plane in Manchester, New Hapmshire for our first leg to Chicago,
Emily was coming down from the third floor, tired and in her socks.
She took a nasty tumble and hurt her ankle enough for Mandy to be
concerned about taking her to an emergency room.  We had been gone for
less than two hours. (We didn't find out about this mishap until we
returned because were out of communications the whole trip.)
Fortunately, she only bruised herself.

The New Orleans port is on the brown Mississippi River.  Hundreds of
people crammed the terminal and we made our first acquaintance, Eric and
Melissa from Chicago, while we waited.  On board the Carnival Motorship
(MS) Holiday, we found our stateroom to drop off Joy's winter coat. We
then went to the main lobby to select and purchase tours at four of the
seven ports of call we would visit on our cruise.

Our ship's departure of was delayed by three hours, we think due to
the union taking their time to load the cargo, but by 7 PM we were
finally
on our way down Old Man River.  We discovered that the longer the
cruise,
the older the people were who went on the cruises.  There were many
people
in the 75-and-older crowd, which probably explains why the cruise line
put
us in the late seating for dinner despite our reservations for early
seating.

We were seated at a table by ourselves in the Four Winds dining room. We

watched the lights go by as I made my way through a New York Steak with
three peppercorn sauce.  By the time we were done with dinner, it had
been a long day and we decided to turn in without seeing the evening
show.  We were glad that the next day (Sunday) was a full day at sea on
our way to Mexico so that we could just relax. And that is just what we
did, finding lounge chairs on deck to laze in the southern sun.

We found Eric and Melissa and asked them to play shuffleboard with us.
They agreed.  The day was very windy, and the seas were (I would guess)
about two feet high, with some white caps.  The boat would rock from
side to
side as it plowed through the now-blue waters, but because of its large
size (755 feet long - and that's not the largest ship in the fleet by
far),
the rocking was not as disconcerting as was the wind on the upper decks
of the ship.  Still, it was warm and pleasant and we enjoyed the day. I
saw
people with anti-seasickness patches but never saw anyone sick because
movement on a ship that large is not very pronounced.

Sunday evening was formal night in the dining rooms.  Guests were first
invited to meet in the Americana Lounge (a theater that seated perhaps
600-800 people) for the Captain's Cocktail party. It was an opportunity
and excuse for people to strut around like peacocks in their finery.  I
even brought along a tuxedo shirt and bow tie to go with my black suit
to
play the part.  Unfortunately, I had gotten a little too much sun that
afternoon, which made my collar uncomfortable.  From then on, the sun
screen was our close friend.

Believe it or not, I had Mississippi prawns for my appetizer and
lobster tail to go with my prime rib au jus. It was the first time I had
tasted lobster, and was surprised to learn that I liked it.  Joy wasn't
very hungry, herself, not being used to eating dinner at 8:30 in the
evening (even if we did lose an hour to daylight savings time).  After
dinner, we retired to our stateroom, unwilling to stay up to watch
the later show.  We decided to try again to get our dinner seating
changed to the early timeslot and made the request at the Information
Desk before turning in that night.

On Monday we awoke outside the port of Playa del Carmen in Mexico.  We
had booked the tour to Tulum (a Mayan ruin site) and Xel-Ha ("shell-ha";
a fresh water natural lagoon).  On the way to Tulum, the tour bus
stopped
for a half hour at a mega-jewelry store; one of an endless procession of
jewelry stores we'd encounter on our cruise.  As we strolled around the
ruins taking pictures, I thought that my son would think that we were in
the middle of a PBS show and wondered if he'd find it as fascinating as
we did. Xel-Ha brought us a welcome relief from the 90-plus heat and sun
because we were able to jump into the clear lagoon water and cool off.
The sights and the sites were a tourist paradise; just what you'd
expect.

Back on board, we had received two notes.  One said that they regretted
to inform us that they could not reseat us, but the second welcomed us
to
the early seating (in the other of two formal dining rooms they had on
the
ship).  We showered and dressed and put our faith in the latter missive.

Arriving at the Seven Seas dining room, we were seated with a couple who
were a few years younger than our own parents.  Their names were John
and
Rose Kester.  (I double-checked with John to make sure that he didn't
call
himself Jack.)  I asked if they minded us joining them and they welcomed
us
in.  The four of us had a table set for eight all to ourselves for the
rest
of the cruise.  That night I had jerked pork and pumkin pie; Joy had
chicken
and cheesecake.

The seas and winds continued to persist at making the boat noticeably a
thing on the water, so the Captain decided to modify the scheduled
itinerary
by heading south to Belize on Tuesday and then return to Mexico on the
following day.  It turned out to be a good strategy because the seas got
calmer as the week went on.

In Belize, Joy and I booked a snorkel tour to Goff's Caye, a very tiny
coral island.  The seas were still a bit rough for the tender ride.  The
first wave washed over the bow and soaked the poor people who selected
to
sit up front; that would be Joy and me. I quickly scooped up the
backpack
from the floor and extracted my digital camera from the front pouch and
put it in the main pouch between two large beach towels. Joy held the
pack
on her lap for the duration of the trip.

At the reef, we fitted fins and masks and were dropped in the water
about
150 yards off the shore of the tiny island.  My mask didn't make a tight
seal around my mustache, and it took me too long to remember how to use
the equipment properly.  I snorted sea water into my sinuses and paddled
around the water holding my nose with one hand and the underwater camera
with the other.  It was another breathtaking and picturesque beach
scene,
however, and the cares of home were far, far away.

We got back to the ship in time to take another tender boat ride to the
shore of Belize but only for one hour to shop in the port stores, and to
take a short walk into the adjoining neighborhood.  We really can't say
what Belize itself is like but we were told that it is a poor third
world
country and that people taking city tours should be forewarned not to be
too shocked about the poverty that they would encounter.  One couple
came
back with a tale about renting a car and driving almost to Guatelmala,
where
they were stopped by uniformed army men to check their identification.
*They*
got to see Belize more than anyone on a sponsored tour.

At dinner with John and Rose, I had more adventure with a Filet of Sole
and Dutch Apple Pie.  Joy had enchiladas and Chocolate Tres Leches.
The early show featured a comic and a singer/dancer, neither of whom
were
something to write about except to say that it passed the time for us
more pleasantly than some of the other activities that were occuring on
the ship.

We awoke in Cozumel on Wednesday and I was stuffed up. There were seven
cruise ships in port that day; four of them from Carnival. We had
scheduled
an early morning (8:30AM) snorkel trip to leave us time for the rest of
the day to shop.  We were dropped off in in deeper water than the coral
island of the previous day, despite being closer to the main shore.  I
had mastered swimming with my nose pinched and breathing more regularly
through the snorkel.  While I was having my difficulties, Joy was having
a very good time paddling around in the water.  I just tried to keep up
with her.

After a couple short hours of viewing coral and colorful fish, we were
returned to the pier where we did some shopping but decided not to buy
until we had gone into town to check out the deals that the cruise had
advertised.  We decided to forego the $5 taxi expense and started out on
a
four-mile walk in the very hot sun, slowing our pace in the shady areas.
I was hoping the exercise would help me shake what I hoped to be
irritated
sinuses, but suspected was turning into a full-blown head cold. Diamonds
International Ltd. had several stores on just about every block in town
(I am not kidding), with tee shirt and cuban cigar shops interspersed
in between.  We discovered that the bargains were to be found back at
the pier where we started. Shunning the taxi ride back, we set our pace
and hobbled back to the ship.  By the end of the walk, I felt like the
ground was moving beneath me like I was back on the ship.  We picked out
some gifts for our kids and some things for Joy before re-embarking.

That evening, I had french onion soup, filet mignon, and crE8me
broulette;
Joy had vegetable lasagna, strawberry cheesecake and chocolate mousse.
The show that evening featured a juggler and a comic; the juggler amused
me more.

I was glad that we planned to spend Thursday on the beach of Cost Maya
because my cold was beginning to take its toll.  Costa Maya is only a
beach resort at this time, with no town around it.  It is the next
tourist
area that was built specifically for the cruising tourist.  In five
years,
an entire town and tourist industry will spring up around it but for
now,
it was peacefully uncluttered.

We found some beach chairs under a shaded umbrella made of wood and palm
leaves.  We alternated hiding from the sun, and adding to the base tan
that we were beginning to sport.  I pretty much napped the morning away.

In the plaza, there was an open amphitheater where people put on a free
costumed dance show telling the story of ancient Mayans.  We shopped and
bought just a few more things. We were getting good at getting our price
and then wondering if our price was still a good one after all. We'd
state
our price and dicker, then walk away, which usually found the vendor
eager
to sell if we'd pay with cash.

That evening I had trouble tasting my garlic soup and T-bone steak. (Joy
had another recipe for chicken and a strawberry torte.) Rose was feeling
really sorry for me and offered her Tylenol Cold and Sinus pills that
she had back in her stateroom.  I had had enough of riding it out and
accepted her kindness gratefully.  The pills were a godsend, putting me
back on track within a few days.  Unfortunately, as with people who are
as affectionate to each other as Joy and I are, Joy was beginning to
show
the signs that we had indeed shared more than affection.  I could see it
on her face and hear it in her denials that she was coming down with my
cold.  As I began to feel better, she began to feel worse.  But at least
now we were armed with medicine.

I should pause at this point to tell you a bit more about John and Rose
Kester.  They informed us that they were part-time employees of the
cruise
line, co-directing the Arts and Crafts activities on the ship during the
days at sea.  We swapped stories about our families and struck up a real
friendship, exchanging home and email addresses.  I asked them to tell
me
the story of how they met, and Rose put on a broad smile.  Rose was
attending
the wedding reception of friend back in the mid-50s when John and two
others
crashed the party.  Rose danced with John's friend, but got a phone call
several days later from John asking her out to dinner.  She accepted,
even
though John had danced with Rose's other friend. He brought her home to
eat
his mother's German potato soup.  If you ask them how many years they
have
been married they will tell you 88 because they were married by a Jewish
priest in California on one date, but the family back in Michigan wasn't
pleased, so they were married again ("more properly") several months
later.  They celebrate BOTH anniversaries every year.

Friday was another full day at sea on our way to Grand Cayman.  Joy
attended the Arts and Crafts time with John and Rose while I napped out
on the deck in the fresh air.  To prove to Joy that I was feeling
better,
we played some ping pong afterward.  The Arts and Craft response was
overwhelming; so much so that they had to turn away people who were
arriving just a few minutes late.  Joy was in her element however, and
pitched in to help Rose by handing out some of the craft materials. 
That
evening, I could begin to taste my potato and mushroom soup and prime
rib.  After dinner, we attended a "Repeater's Reception" in the
Americana
lounge where, like the Captain's Cocktail Party, the alcoholic beverages
were free of charge.  For the teetotalers such as ourselves, they had
fruit
punch.  I requested a coke and got one in a glass, but it was poorly
mixed.
(Soda on the ship was not free of charge; $2.50 for a 20 oz. bottle.)
The
"show" that night involved several cruise guests vying for a plastic
trophy
in a "Survivor"-like game.

Before tuning in, Joy and I wandered into one of the lounges where
people
were singing karaoke.  We could stand only about three minutes of what
we
were hearing so we instead made our way to the casino to watch the
people
gamble.  Rose had earlier asked Joy if she would gamble $5 in the nickel
slot machines for her; she would stand behind instructing Joy how to do
it.
They discourage employees (even part-timers) from gambling because
people
might think the fix is in if they won.  We had reservations about
abetting
a bettor, which she sensed and sensitively withdrew her request.  Joy
and
I sat on a window seat before the evening show for a while (waiting for
the theater to open) when we decided to watch the gamblers again.  We
espied John and Rose, a bit chagrined because they were carrying a
couple
of buckets of nickels to the window for conversion to paper cash.  Her 
urge was too strong to resist so she played the $5 herself and it paid
some $60 after just a few spins of the video wheels.  We laughed with
them
about her good fortune.

On Saturday, Joy and I caught a taxi to the 7-mile beach at Grand Cayman
Island.  We enjoyed the sand and water for several hours that morning
before it began to sprinkle on us.  We welcomed the relief it gave us
from the heat, but it soon turned in a drenching downpour.  We sought
shelter under the eaves of a scuba diving establishment, huddling with
a British officer and the scuba business owner.  The deluge showed no
sign of letting up anytime soon and we wondered what on earth we would
do.
Not long after that, a different taxi driver appeared asking if we
wanted
transport back to the ship.  We did and it cost us less to get back than
to arrive in the first place.  The ship, only 6-or-so miles from the
beach where we were getting rained on, was still in sunshine.  A column
of thick gray clouds was marching along the corridor where we wanted to
be
situated for the day.  We had seen all the tee shirt and jewelry shops
we
ever wanted to see, so we re-embarked onto the ship and played
shuffleboard
that afternoon.  At dinner, I had prime rib for the second day in a row,
and it tasted better than the first.  Joy had penne pasta and baked
alaska.

Saturday night was the only night we stayed up past the 10 o'clock hour
because at 11PM, the Seven Seas dining room was turned in to a food art
gallery.  Guests were encouraged to bring their cameras and gander at
the
buffet tables filled with edible works of art.  Joy and I arrived early
to go through the line on the right side then come around and get in
line
on the left side to ensure that we had seen it all. At 11:45, the guests
were invited to destroy the exhibit - I mean, enjoy the food.  By 11:20,

however, we were back in our cabin and off to sleep!

On Sunday, we arrived in Ocho Rios, Jamaica.  Jamaica has beautiful
mountainous terrain.  Our final tour of the cruise was to the Brimmer
Hall Plantation (another historical site) and the Dunn's River Falls
(another of nature's tourist attractions.  The tour was nice but the
people we toured with were less than sterling ambassadors from the
state of Louisiana (about a dozen of them on tour together). And
everyone and their brother wanted a tip. I tipped no fewer than six
people on that tour.

At the plantation, we got onto a flatbed with seating, which was
pulled behind a farm tractor.  Our three guides pointed out sugar cane,
banana and coconuts trees, and many other types of flora.  We stopped on
a hilltop to overlook much of the plantation.  People piled out for
pictures. With the tractor engine quiet, Joy and I heard singing wafting
out over a valley from a small church on the far ridge.  Church was in
session and we heard the familiar strains of "Alleluia, alleluia" which
delighted us as much as the gorgeous panorama we were privileged to see.


The tour bus then took us to a shopping center run by (east) Indians; go
figure.  This put us behind schedule and some of our "friends" from
Lousiana were complaining that they were hungry, so the bus stopped at a
local jerked pork and jerked chicken fast food establishment before
heading to the falls (and they complained about this consideration!).
Only two other couples besides us wanted to walk up the falls and
get wet; the rest of the Lousiana group had enough of the tour and were
impatient to get back to the boat.  Because of this, the guide cut our
falls tour in half. (I wanted to stand in the middle of the bus and
shake
all the water off me.)  Despite my newfound irritation for a regional
people, the water was very refreshing and beautiful and much more fun
to be in than watch.

The rocks were limestone and so were not slippery to climb even as the
water coursed down the mountain.  Of course, we had to have a guide
up the water and to tip him for his service and snapping of our picture
with our water camera. The exit signs from Dunn's River Falls steered
tourists through a maze of vendors, all very eager to sell whatever
wares
they had.  I saw a lot of wood carving but left my wallet on the bus
and was too put out to care about any serious shopping. It was a final
destination before two days at sea, returning to New Orleans. (I had a
ribeye steak that night and the show featured a musician who played many
instruments. I wondered if he was from Louisiana.)

The arts and craft class burgeoned again on the following two sea days.
Monday saw John and Rose turning away more people despite bringing in
extra supplies.  It's amazing what response you can get when things are
free and you have been on a boat for 10 days.  Rose acquired a traveling
microphone (at my suggestion) and was able to instruct the crowd of over
125 people much more masterfully.  I think she rather enjoyed the power
of voice amplification and suggested that John should get her one for
their home.

For Monday and Tuesday, Joy and I lolled in the sun, and swam in the
pools onboard.  We even went down the water slide where I lost my
plastic
room key in the water!  Someone found it and we were able to get back
into our stateroom. Would you believe that I had another New York Steak, and
Joy
had chicken again?  Strange but true.  At our final dinner, we each had
turkey. The final show was a revue of dancing and songs from the decades
from the 50s onward; perhaps one of their best.

I repacked the two suitcases and two backpacks (we brought an empty one
for
this purpose), rolling the clothes tightly and putting some changes of
clothing in the backpacks.  We had to set our luggage outside our door
on the final night, where it gets picked up and sniffed before we can
reclaim it at the customs checkpoint in the Port of New Orleans. It took
nearly three hours to disembark and get to the airport on Wednesday
morning.
It is kind of funny how waiting and relaxing have similar physical
traits
but opposite reactions to our emotional state.

We called home on a borrowed cell phone and the reaction we got on the
other end of the phone was, "You're alive!"  I asked what was the worse
thing that happened while we were gone. (Joy and I both had a bad dream
about the van the night before.)  They made no mention of Emily's mishap
but said that they couldn'd find the cat's hair brush and she was
shedding
all over the place.  Phew! Was that a relief!

We were returned to the airport where I had rented a car for one day. 
We
drove all the way back to the pier, oddly enough. It was near the French
Quarter where we found a parking facility so that we could stroll up and
down the streets to admire the architecture.  I snapped photos until the
rechargable batteries ran out of power.  We also went to the farmer's
market but bought nothing more than a cold Coca-cola.  We wandered too
far down Bourbon Street, because the shops that displayed crude and
offensive material gave way to lewd and lascivious establishments.
It brought to mind an aptly named Nineveh Baptist Church that we had
passed on our way to visit the French Quarter.

Now I know people rave about the food in New Orleans so they would be
aghast to learn that we had lunch and Mickey D's and dinner at Subway
- it was all Joy wanted.  Remember, she was a few days behind me in my
cold and was feeling rather rung out and ready to return home.

We got off the plane in Manchester, New Hampshire on Thursday afternoon
(April 18) and it was as hot there as it was anywhere else on our trip!
New England was having record-breaking heat.  It figures.  I gave my
very last vacation dollar to Wendy Gonzalez for toll; she was kind
enough
to meet us at the airport with Mandy.

Home looked good.  Our fruit trees had begun to blossom, the grass was
green (and cut), and Miranda had put a lot of effort into the yard work
(for which we are grateful).  Joy sifted through mail, wrote some checks
to pay bills; I took Emily and Andrew and myself to an appointment with
the optometrist. We passed out the gifts we had bought, and made some
phone calls to tell some people that we were indeed alive, recovering
from colds, leisure, and spending every last cent that we brought with
us.  I often said that a cruise just wants to take you by the ankles and
shake all the loose change from your pockets. That it did.

We had the van inspected on Friday, and it passed (fooled them again). 
I
took the younguns out for Coke Slurpees and bought a couple of controls
for Andrew's new user Nintendo 64 games system so the four of us can
play
Dr. Mario all at the same time. It's a hoot!

On Saturday, David and Lynn Shaw joined us with their family for an
afternoon of catching up.  Unfortunately, only Em and I were there to
greet them at first.  Joy was off to a Children's musical rehearsal,
Andrew was at a friend's sleepover party, and Miranda went with a few
of her contemporaries on a hike up Mount Manadanock.  Bessie Lewellyn
commented that Joy didn't seem to have much of a tan, but I told her
that in the places of contrast, she indeed had proof that she had been
in the Caribbean for the past couple of weeks. The family soon
reconvened
though and fired up the grill for a good start to the grilling season.
It didn't take us long to get back into the swing of things, but with
being at Spring's doorstep in New England, it's definitely "No problem,
mon."

Mark
+---_-----------+ Mark Metcalfe, Cadence Design Systems, Inc.
| c a d e n c e | Manager, PCB Enterprise Publications (CAD)
+---------------+ metcalfe@cadence.com, Phone: (978) 446-6451