Mon Apr 28 07:40 EDT 1997
Weekend Update, April 25-27

As most of you know, I took Joy down to New Jersey last Sunday to
stay with mom and dad Crawford for the week.  On Friday, I returned
to pick her up and bring her home the next day.

It was a difficult week, for mom, for Joy, and for Dad.  Mom barely
has enough strength to be shepherded to the bathroom just one room
away.  In fact, her weakness prevented even that trip on one of her
days.  We are amazed at how quickly this cancer has immobilized someone
whose purpose in life was to serve others.  Millie apologized to her
daughters for putting them through so much difficulty.  That's mom, too,
worried about everyone but herself!

Joy is exhausted but I think the major portion is emotional because she
had to be the brave support the entire week.  On Friday, her sister Faith
gave her a big hug.  Joy beat back the tears warning Faith, "don't do
this to me, I have another 24 hours to go" [to be strong for mom and dad].

My mother-in-law probably has less than two weeks to live.  I am told
her liver is gone.  The doctor said that he never saw this type of cancer
in a person who never smoked (or even had secondhand smoke around her),
and that this couldn't have been in her more than a month before they
diagnosed it.

I have been thinking this week about "last words" and the opportunity to
say them, but I have come to the realization that we have had nothing
more important to say than "I love you" and this has been repeated
continually during this time of trouble.  I have also realized that if
our relationship is current -- the "I love you"s are always fresh --
then swift death is not a lost opportunity.  I am glad I was able to see
and speak with mom again, but "I love you very much" was all that was
important to say to each other.

I have been praying for mercy in these final days.  Mercy for a miracle,
or mercy for rest from the travail of entering eternity.  The first mercy
is for us, you know.

Mark
  ,          Mark Metcalfe  ,d88b.d88b,  O love that will not let me go
  \_0__,    (508) 446-6451  88888888888   I rest my weary soul in Thee
    M                       `Y8888888Y'  I give Thee back the life I owe
   .|\. metcalfe@cadence.com  `Y888Y'   That in Thine ocean depths its
  Cadence Design Systems, Inc.  `Y'   flow may richer, fuller be.