Mon May 12 07:46 EDT 1997
Weekend Update: May 10-12

My father-in-law has been with us since Tuesday, and he is mostly quiet,
often holding a picture of he and Millie, staring deeply into it.  On
one occasion, I told him that I probably had home video of grandma and
would be happy to show it if he liked.  One rarely sees the look of
gratitude I saw in his face.  After finding recent footage, we were
called to dinner and as we went into the room, my father-in-law turned
to me and said, "it has been real hard on me.  I'd been having trouble
remembering her voice!"  I've been taping home videos since October 1984
and we've gone through 8 of 14 tapes, marking down where my mother-in-law
appears.  I have some fleeting shots and some really good portions where
mom is featured.  I have promised to make Dad a separate tape of everything
I have with Mom in it.  This has seemed to help because I think half of
his grief was brought on himself by trying so hard to etch Mom's image,
smells, and sounds into his mind.  And the harder he tried, the more difficult
it was for him.

My wife's family gathered again this Saturday on a happy note.  My nephew's
wife, Erin Scheuermann, graduated from Gordon College and we hosted her
party at the Manor.  She actually finished her studies in January but the
timing of a party worked out very well.

On Saturday morning, we caught a starling.  This wretched bird had already
built a 10-inch nest in our dryer vent host with a clutch of 5 blue eggs.
I caught the bird once before in the hose with her nest, cut off the section
of hose and hung it in a tree.  The bird left the nest behind but started to
build a new on in the dryer vent hose again. Saturday morning it was in and
out so I removed the hose, thinking it would frighten it away but instead it
came into the house and into the bedroom!  We herded it into the shower stall
and tossed some clothing on it.  I then picked it up and put it in a cage.
Later that day, we drove it a few miles to a wooded area and set it free.
It was back on Sunday morning.

Yesterday was particularly difficult on my wife: it was Mother's Day, you
know.  Today is our 18th Wedding anniversary.  Nothing is planned except
some cozy cuddling and (our daily) renewing of our love for each other...
and watching Andrew's baseball game.

I find myself attempting to recapture normalcy... but I may have to change
my idea of normal for a while.

Thank you for your kind words of love and support.  I have passed on your
condolences to Joy.

Mark
        __   __            Mark Metcalfe                         ,
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