Tue May 13 09:44 EDT 1997
Anniversaries and loneliness

John Perryman:
Thanks, again.  It probably makes a better impact than when my
Dad sends the Herald fan mail.

Kendy:
Hey, May 12, is our anniversary (too).  Joy and I did not exchange gifts
or cards.  It was a busy Monday.  But getting up at 5:30 to go swimming
sounds pretty good!  Well, the swimming part does... the 5:30 part rots.

All:
Last week, I took Joy and her father for a short ride in Pepperell.
We stopped at a country craft store.  In the window was a beautiful
piece of furniture; a stand with a mirror that held a floral-paintied
pitcher and bowl.  I thought Joy would like to see it, even if it was
too expensive for us to buy.  I suggested selling some stock but she
vetoed me.

Last night, Joy shouts down from the bedroom, "Mark, you're in big trouble!"
I had no clue what she was talking about.  "Why?"  "You know why!"
"No I don't, tell me!"  "You do too know why!"  (I was really puzzled
wondering what I had done.  She's never reacted like this before about
my dropping clothes on the floor!)  I finally climbed the stairs because
she wasn't going to come out and say what I should know but didn't (isn't
it too often the case?).  That piece of furniture was placed in our bedroom,
and I immediately knew that my father-in-law had bought it for Joy (and
obstensively for me, too, because it was our anniversary).  When I told
Joy that I had nothing to do with it I asked her if she was going to
scold her father or thank him.  She wasn't sure.

Dad's been with us for a week now.  He told Joy yesterday that he is a
bit apprehensive about returning home.  It will be the first time he
is alone since mom died.  Joy corrected him and said, since mom got sick.
Still, I will be making this video of mom for him, which has helped
relieve him of the guilt of forgetting what she sounded like.  It is
tough to watch and know that there is nothing you can do to stop the
hurt.  Hmm... sort of like mom's suffering just a few short weeks ago,
only there is no medication that will block dad's pain.

I told Joy to remind Dad that we are only four hours away, which is not
too difficult a drive when he has a few lonely days to pass.  I am guessing
that he will return tomorrow, although I will suggest he wait until Thursday
because Friday he is expected at his District Assembly, which may occupy
him a bit while he makes his transition to being home alone.

Tonight, my nephew and his wife are coming up to go to an auction.
Dad will accompany us.  I hope he doesn't bid on anything.  :-)

Mark
Mark Metcalfe                   _______    "What about him, Lord?"       ,
Cadence Design Systems, Inc.   / Holy /,                            ,__0_/
270 Billerica Road, MS 04     /Bible //    "What is that to you?       M
Chelmsford, MA 01824         /______//        You must follow Me."   ./|.
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