My Joke Mailing List
warning: most jokes sent will have adult content
warning: most jokes sent will have adult content
Here is an example of one of my jokes:
Saint Peter had a terrible cold and fever and didn't think he
would last the day minding the Pearly Gates of Heaven. So
he
phoned Jesus to ask for the day off.
"Why, Peter," Jesus said. "You know your
health is my first
concern. Take as much time as you need."
As Jesus pondered who he might use to replace Peter, he
decided
to handle the job himself. It was a very slow day and noone
approached the Gates until late in the afternoon, when in the
distance, Jesus saw a bent, white-haired old man slowly making
his way up the path with the aid of a gnarled cane.
As the man neared, Jesus said, "Good afternoon, sir.
How may I
help you?"
"Well," replied the man, "I was hoping to enter
the Gates of
Heaven."
"We would certainly love to have you," said Jesus,
"but we do
have certain rules as to who can enter Heaven. Tell me, what have
you done to deserve such an honor?"
"Actually, I have done nothing so wonderful myself,"
said the
man. "I lived in a small town and led a simple life as a
carpenter. But my son," he continued, "now HE was
special !"
With pride in his voice he said, "I raised him to be a
carpenter
like myself and did my best to teach him right from wrong.
And
when he grew older, an amazing transformation overcame him and to
this day he's known throughout the world and loved by all alike."
As Jesus listened to the story, a sense of recognition came to
him. With a lump in his throat and a tear in his eye, he
threw
open his arms and cried, "Father!"
Emotional at this outburst, the old man threw open his arms
and
yelled, "Pinocchio!"
warning: most jokes sent will have adult content