I stumbled upon Aikido by chance actually. At the time I joined Aikido, I did not know that those lethal movements of Steven Seagal had anything to do with Aikido. I wanted to join a martial art solely for a reason - self-defense. So it did not matter whether it was Tae Kwan Do, Karate or the many available forms of martial art today.

My journey through Aikido has been a bumpy yet amusing ride. In fact, I almost stopped learning it had it not been for my ambition to learn a martial art. Initially, I enrolled for my first Aikido class after being introduced to it by a housemate. The only knowledge I had about Aikido back then was that it was a very unique martial art in the sense that the defender utilizes the opponent's force to divert back his attack.

I can still recall my first lesson. We started off with some warm-up exercises which includes bending and twisting of wrists and ankles to soften up the joints. We learned how to fall properly in order not to hurt ourselves. As the classes progressed, the lessons became tougher for me. Being a bookworm type of person, I did not have the knack of learning most movements naturally. Being a girl also did not help the situation. I couldn't imagine myself throwing off a guy who was much more bigger and stronger than I was. But of course, you'll learn that big or small, it does not make a difference in Aikido. Using the right technique, you actually do not use a lot of force to be able to overcome your opponent - which is the real beauty of Aikido.

Each time when a new defense movement which involved forward or backward rolls were introduced, I could feel my heart pounding furiously and my feet turning into jelly. I was terrified of being thrown over. My fear has clouded my alertness and concentration thus I had difficulty in falling correctly. It came to a point in which sometimes I felt relieved to miss a lesson or two.

After about three months I eventually stopped attending classes. No, it was not due to the fear of being thrown over! I had to concentrate on my studies for my exams (I regret not being able to manage my time wisely). I was also tied to my industrial training in which I had to undergo work at a company for five months. So getting back into Aikido after an absence of more than half a year was another story itself. It was a difficult decision for me to make as previously, I had three of my housemates who also went for the classes. Now, I was alone.

I was studying at the library when it suddenly dawn upon me that what the heck was I afraid of? I had only touched the surface on self-defense (it can take considerable time and effort before Aikido or any martial art can be used effectively in a self-defense situation) and I needed to carry on what I had started. So without giving much further thought, I strode off to the UM Dojo to tell Lau Sensei (my instructor) that I wanted to join back. There and then I had my Aikido lesson itself with jeans and a T-shirt while my books were still on the table at the library!

It has been three months since I continued back Aikido. I'm happy to report that my fear of being thrown over has diminished after many practices of being thrown over. Although still slowly at grasping the correct techniques, I thoroughly enjoyed my lessons. I realized that besides self-defense, Aikido is a very beautiful form of martial art. I admire the fluid movements of the instructors and seasoned students which seemed such an intelligent way of defending oneself and yet so graceful at the same time.

Aikido has also helped in increasing my self-esteem. I'm more confident in facing other people than before. With so many benefits gained, I am truly grateful I had made my decision earlier to continue my pursuit in learning a martial art. However, my pursuit could not have been easier had it not been for the support from Lau Sensei and my Aikido mates. They have been truly helpful and I am writing this article as a form of saying a big "thank you" to all of them.

Note : Ever since I stopped Aikido to concentrate in my final year exam, I had never been back to training. Goes to show another "hangat-hangat tahi ayam" case. Actually, would love to join back but (there's always a but) must be seriously willing to devote ample time which I can't promise myself especially when I'm working now. See, I can go by another name - "Jack of all trades, master of none". But FYI, I managed to passed my first belt test - the blue belt, so, at least got somethinglah....