Hi people...

I thought about not writing this week's Weekend Stories 'coz I'm too depressed. To describe how I'm feeling at this moment, I'll put it in a short analogue. Imagine a person stranded in an island for days. Now, that person managed to survive on that island for days, then weeks... As each day goes by, the person, although adapted well to the island's environment, he longed to get out of the island. Months later, he caught a glimpse of a ship from afar. As the ship drew nearer and nearer, his hopes of getting rescued from that island got higher and higher. Finally, when the ship was about to land on shore, it suddenly exploded - BOOM! And that's how I felt yesterday. The island - my work, the ship - the holidays (include 5, 6 and 7th April). I hadn't had a decent holiday for months. It's extremely frustrating when I had to work on some public holidays and sometimes on Sundays (especially when I'm the kaki lepak type). So on Saturday when I thought we're about to have our month-end closing (whereby the final profit and loss analysis of the company is announced) peacefully, we found errors in the production orders' labour and expense declaration. I've yet to figure out what's the problem and shouldering the responsibility of finding out the problem and solution has been extremely stressful.

I was really looking forward for the holidays (although only 3 days) because I know that I was about to have a breakdown. I don't claim to be working very hard but I know I deserve a rest. I wanted to refresh myself because after that, I've to work on another major assignment on top of my already full workload. My consultant has already left making me more tensed in solving the mentioned problem. I have no one to turn to except the SAP people of Singapore and Germany. I've got to find out what's the most possible reason for the error on Tuesday. Actually, I wanted to stay back on that day itself to look into the problem but I had to go off as my family were to go back to Raub for the Ceng Beng prayers. I wanted to go to work tomorrow (although it's a holiday for my company) but there's a power shutdown. So, decided to go on Hari Raya Haji.

It's not because of the work I'm so depressed. I should be depressed, but then again this is working life. My parents are already telling me I should quit (I'm already having arguements with them regarding this small matter), but I still want to hold on to this job coz I know where my responsibilities lies. The job has been challenging and the people were enjoyable to work with (except the Koreans). I was just depressed because I had put so much hope in that particular holidays. I kept on working without complaining too much coz I thought I'd have 3 whole days to "cleanse" myself from thoughts of quitting up to putting poison in that GM's Chinese tea!

I even asked to take an unpaid leave on 8th April because I thought I'd be going on a trip with some friends on Monday and Tuesday, so should be too unfocused to work on Wednesday. My leave was turned down because my other colleague had already took leave earlier on that same day too and someone must "jaga gerai". What I got was an allowance to come in late for work. I guess those friends who're reading this mail know how much I looked forward to the holidays coz I was desperate enough to even consider going to Melaka!!

So my dreams got totally shattered on Saturday. Not only the point of coming late on Wednesday would be totally useless, I've got to work on Tuesday as well. And the more I think about it, the more devastated I'm feeling. There are also other things that made me down but not as much as this one. Normally, I would pick myself up after each fall but this week, I've had it.

And why am I writing this mail anyway? Well, basically I don't mean to seek for sympathies or whatever. It's been my principle (I've got lots of 'em!) to write. It's like therapy to let your thoughts out. I'm actually looking forward to the coming days because I really want to see how it all turns out next week. Believe me, you'll be getting another story then!

That raps up my weekend stories. I wanna say hi to a newcomer in my mailing list. I thought I'd give my modem to her when I was thinking of buying another modem last time. Hi Nisah, it's really nice to finally be able to have you online. Unfortunately, this week's mail is not a cheery one. Luckily there were sprinkles of sunshine on my life this week like my cousin sister, Lee May, calling all the way from Singapore one night, Nisah calling up today to inform me of her email account and a photo of Onn Wei at Grand Canyon (yes, you made me green with envy my dear!). Without them, I'd be cursing all day.

Regards,
Li Li
ps. sorry if i've not replied your mails personally. the way i see it, if i write, i think it will turn out to be a nasty mail anyway! So until the forces of good luck finds me, i'm trying to psyche myself up again for the week ahead.
Life is like a roller coaster ride - it has its ups and downs and currently I'm screaming like hell....

Entry: 7.4.1998

Hi friends!

I feel pretty obliged to write this email. Received a number of "support" mails - thanks, appreciate that. Well, I'm okay, really - just letting off some steam the other day.

Just happened to be watching the news as I'm typing this - they're coming up with electronic stamps, you get a software which has been endorsed by the postal service and you get to print your stamps by clicking, not sticking anymore. Mmmm... the stuffs of the future...

Went to work today the problem hasn't been solved yet as the person in charge at SAP Singapore is not around (Singapore also public holiday) and the person taking over isn't knowledgable enough to help me. Well, hopefully I'll have better luck tomorrow (although I'm quite pessismistic). I ended up searching for notes on this problem (SAP has a database of problems that may occur and the solutions toward it) but couldn't find one that's relevant. I bet they'll logon to our system tomorrow to find the bug. Also stayed at the office sorting out all those production orders with errors. I'm pretty pooped. There were times when I'll wake up as early as 5am.

Anyway, not seeking sympathies! *Chuckle! Tomorrow - come what may....

Now NTV7 is showing Michael Jackson's Ghosts... I'm not a real fan of MJ but can't deny his videos are the best around. Man, that skeleton dancing effects are awesome!

Yesterday a coupla of ex-housemates came over to Seremban and I took 'em to Jeramtoi waterfall in Jelebu. Didn't tell my parents until I came back. Ching Ching, Keen Wu, Tiong - you know what? Well, I wasn't "killed" but my mom asked why I didn't bring her there!!! *Grin!

Driving up the road to the waterfall would be pretty scary for my mom since it was quite snaky and narrow. Not to mention, I haven't been to this place before either. But with these people backing up, I wasn't worried.

The waterfalls was quite impressive, we found a nice spot to play. I thoroughly enjoyed one particular spot where the water kept splashing strongly and it felt like I was having free massage on my back. As for climbing up to the spot, although it was a very short climb, I was pretty exhausted. Aiyo... banyak louya already.....

Hey, I'd better stop... this MJ video is too cool to miss!

Regards,
Li Li