Flaming WuBall said to be "unhittable."

(London, Ontario)  -  At a hastily called news conference today, officials of the Oakridge Mud Dogs reacted angrily to calls for pitcher Jon Wu's infamous Flaming WuBall to be outlawed.    Wu was unavailable for comment, but a team spokesperson characterized opponents of the Flaming WuBall as "wussy wannabes" and challenged them to hit it rather than criticize it.  Meanwhile, the opportunistic Wu, who developed the contentious pitch after hundreds of hours of experimentation in his basement laboratory, has applied for patent rights, with a view to collecting royalties from  other hurlers who learn the pitch.

The Flaming WuBall has been criticized by baseball purists everywhere.  Opponents say it "smells bad," and several batters hit by Flaming WuBalls have been hospitalized with third degree burns.  In the meantime, Wu remains unperturbed.  "I told the coach I'd been practicing and he told me to go for it," he told reporters, hours before igniting the wooden bleachers in a local park with a wild pitch.

New York Yankee owner George Steinbrenner describes the Flaming WuBall as "an affront to the great traditions of the game," and demonstrators in Georgia and Alabama have threatened to boycott the Mud Dogs.  The National Rifle Association describes the pitch as "a threat to right-thinking Americans everywhere" and "another example of creeping socialism from the north."

In the meantime, Wu, who has attracted a cult following of teenage girls who call themselves the Wu Witch Project, has sold the rights to his life story to NBC for a movie of the week, and will record a music video with Madonna in Thorndale, Ontario before flying to London, England to accept a knighthood and a seat in the House of Lords.    Following the baseball season, Wu plans to  either join the World Wrestling Federation or run away and join the circus.