Chapter Two: Storming
(apparently these pics get bigger if you right click or click or something on them)
Sunday Feb 8
The morning after the Park City Revival…my flu re-asserted itself, so I bludged around the condo while everyone else went to Alta.
| I did some condo-work (bathrooms, vacuuming, snowman building, washing up, clothes
wash, towels and sheets wash etc etc blah) and watched much TV and conducted a scientific
experiment into how many gins and tonic I could consume (conclusion: Lots). The snowman was to keep me company on the balcony when waxing skis. And to keep Tigger company when he was smoking. |
 All My Own Work. |
Also answered many phone calls, including from Launce TriUngulate who wanted to ski with us on the morrow, and Kate McLean, the Good Witch of the North, and watched the snow fall heavier and thicker.
| Meanwhile, the group had gone to Alta (in the photo they’ve attempted to conceal the venue in the standard r.s.a way) in Mikey (Let Mikey Ski It) Saemisch’s tank, to meet up with Kelly Miller. A good day was allegedly had by all, with the exceptions of Tigger, whose very long slaloms didn’t like the powder, and Klaus, who tripped over the tips of his skis and entertained all with an elaborate and comprehensive stack (transl: "yard-sale"). |  Mikey, Kelly, Craig, Tabi. |
  |
| This is John and Rory (or Roly), Mike's Mates. The story here is they'd just spent weeks skiing in France, and it didn't snow once. So this was a subtle message to their mate in France. Yes, they're Aussies. |
Monday Feb 9
| Snowbird today. Bob Thompson (Pigopowder) came to get us in the
Impressive Ski Van, and produced….a veil. He finally thought he’d sussed-out the constant Vail references on r.s.a; Bob admitted that spelling was not his strongest subject at school. Launce turned up, whereupon Bob realised that he was actually loading pinna skis (shock horror) into the van!!! We found lots of perfect snow, which was being replenished constantly, while the ski patrol supplied appropriate sound-effects. |
 Bob and Veil/Vail? |
| Snowbird is truly a spectacular ski area; it wasn’t crowded, we got plenty of skiing, to the extent that me and Tigger were toast (shaking jelly legs) by 10.30. |  Anthea, Launce the Pinna, Tabi, Tigger at Snowbird. |
|
Near the end of our day, we discovered a very nice area off to the side, called Peruvian, but were too tired to enjoy it properly: anyone going to Snowbird, don’t miss this. Very pretty and peaceful. |
| We managed to ski (after a fashion) until 3pm, and then chucked it in to go bludging (shopping, drinking etc), only to find Tabi, Mike and Lance already doing the same thing!!!! We purchased weak beer in giant blue cans and sat out in the snowy courtyard to enjoy it, whereupon a woebegone girl approached us to "borrow" a cigarette. I couldn’t resist standing up to look over the table at her feet…yep! Soft snowboard boots! I crowed in triumph, and she explained that it wasn’t for her, but for the guy who was giving her a lift home that day. Tigger took pity and supplied One (1) Cigarette, for consumption of. |
|
Back at the condo, Tigger me and Mike retired to the condo hot tub to gravely consider where to ski on the morrow, and consumed several medicinal ales.
Little did we know that this was to be Mike’s last bath for quite a while.
Tuesday Feb 10
| We loaded into the Official Condo Sardine Can and headed for The Canyons (Bob had to go to "work"?!!!). |
|
| Tigger and I got separated from the other three (transl. "ditched"), but as compensation discovered TB (who is worth three people in displacement), and had a very good day indeed; TB has a knack for finding his way around a whole resort and so we skiied every lift and found some very fine runs, and were in general very impressed with what Les Otten was doing with the resort hitherto known-as "Park West" and "Wolf Mountain". TB entertained us with a very good spoof of how ski instructors turn (poked his bum in the air, and his nose, held his hands high…very pretty) although the eminently spoofable instructor with three middle-aged ladies in tow looked anything but amused. |
|
|
However, around 3pm we found Craig in a liftline, who told us that Mike had come to grief on Sidewinder, smacking into a tree. Tabi was with him at the hospital (and looking after him somewhat beyond the call of duty, as it transpired!!!). |
TB became very martial at this point, and got us to the base in record time, and then led us to the hospital. Mike had ingested plenty of drugs, and was the chirpiest one in the room. We viewed a disgusting x-ray, from which it was clear that he’d broken his tibia, the break being just below a very large screw.
How to get Mike from Park City to Salt Lake City emerged as a real problem.
| He’s a tall chap, and needed to be able to stretch out. !!! TB to the rescue, no mucking about. He immediately left, and returned within 10 minutes with Stephana’s big, new Ford Explorer, and loaded Mike into it. (It must be said that Mike was issuing orders right and left, to doctors, nurses and us. We all jumped, and the tricky manouvre was accomplished with no problems at all). TB drove Mike back to SLC (which must have been the last thing he felt like doing at the end of a ski day) and we all retired to the condo to lick our wounds (except Mike, who couldn’t reach his wounds). Tabi and TB were indeed the heroes of the day. |
|
Wednesday Feb 11
Bob and his van took me and Tigger and Tabi back to the Canyons. There was lots of soft snow about, and Tabi ‘n’ Bahb patiently instructed me ‘n’ Tigger in its use. (It might be said at this point that Bahb has been a ski instructor at some time). A very pleasant day, apart from being lured down a horrible bump-run. I attempted to find an easy way off it through the trees, and ended up on an even worse bump run.
Which I managed to side-slip the entire length of, though it took ages.
On the way home, Bahb went via his house (stylish stone cottage in the Sugarhouse area)
and picked up his wife Irene, and we all went to try out Crusty’s, venue for the next
party. Turned out that Crusty’s was the bakery/restaurant upstairs, and Nickels was
the nice cosy local bar downstairs. The beer came in huge steins, and the wings
were….a nickel each. And jeez, they were lethal that night!!!Bob then, as usual,
drove us home to the condo, which was at the other opposite end of SLC from his place.
We had been invited to the house of the Good ‘Ol Eds for dinner, and were a bit late.
We partook of a very pleasant meal and lots of good red plonk, and admired the palace in
which the Eds dwell. Tomorrow, they were going to take us to Solitude, whereupon Tigger
and I would magically fall in love with powder (that was the theory, anyway).
Thursday Feb 12
Tabi left today, at dawn. A serious loss to the condo club, it put on quite a dampener.
| To Solitude! Ed had prepared some fat skis for me, Atomics. These were not mid-fats. They were water skis. As it turned out, they worked fine on the groomed, and behaved themselves in the deeper stuff (though I really couldn’t detect much difference between them and normal skis, which was odd), but the soft stuff on the front of the hill was all bumped-up and Tigger and I failed to fall in love with it. In fact, some Rude Words were heard (Tigger swears such a lot). |
 Craig. |
Mrs Ed was an example to all, in the way she handled the powder, bumps and crud with no fuss, no trouble. Good ‘Ol Ed, however, revealed himself to be Evil ‘Ol Ed when he did something another punter didn’t like. Ed stopped in the middle of the mountain while a thick-set, portly individual informed him, loudly, that he’d just recovered from not one, but TWO shoulder dislocations (or something) and he didn’t appreciate blah blah carp whinge. Ed just regarded him with detached interest while the fellow continued his tirade. Me and Tigger, off to one side, supplied a commentary on the fellow’s appearance, skiing ability and parentage.
Solitude is a wonderful little place, very quiet, no people, interesting grooming and lots of interesting places to ski. Tigger and I were itching to give it a good go, and so sneaked off from the Party of Powder Punchers and retrieved our Real Skis (slaloms) from the Ed’s big red jeep, and proceeded to have a ball on the steep and smooth.
Me and Tigger finished the day sitting on the Jeep’s tailgate, drinking giant blue cans of beer and basking in the sunshine. The Powder People joined us eventually. Ed regarded the view with a far-away look in his eye, before happily declaring that the day had been "sick".
Friday Feb 13
In hindsight, this was my favourite day.
Bahb arrived to collect me and Tigger (special note, this was miles and miles out of
his way, as usual), and we headed for the Canyons: Tabi had arranged freebies for us.
It was a pleasant weather day and the place was deserted, apart from the very large man we
found viewing the trail board: Two Buddha.
| We enjoyed ourselves; even Bob skiied with us, shadowing us in the trees, off banks,
jumps etc while we cruised the groom, pretending to try and keep up with TB. Many disgraceful jokes were told and songs sung on the chairlift; Tigger’s Rodeo Song inspired Bahb to tell his Rodeo Sex joke (TB filed that one away for future and frequent use) and TB and Tigger to try and outdo him. |
|
TB also let fly with many chairlift farts AS USUAL.
Back in SLC, Bob collected Irene and we went to Crusty’s for some wings ‘n’ beerrrr; all in all, it was a superb day. Good skiing, good company, good apres ski. It never got any better than this!
Saturday Feb 14
Tigger and me were feeling the effects of all this skiing, so we decided on a bludge day. Guilt over Bob’s having to drive to the other end of the city was setting in, and so Tigger had arranged a hire car, and we thought we could journey to the airport, and collect it and Russell (my brother) at the same time.
Today was Happy Couples day: Bahb and Irene were joining Glen and Nadine to ski at Park City, while TB and Stephana were off to Deer Valley.
Me and Tigger, meanwhile, shambled off to look at crummy ‘Marts and guzzle "food" at Hungry Jacks (mysteriously labelled "Burger King" in the US). Great embarassment on returning to the condo: "Where’s my hamburger?!" demanded Mike from his couch. Cooked him some noodles instead. Poor Mike!
Oh, I must mention Bruce Ewart ("Bewart") who posts occasionally.
Tigger had hired his Snow Rangers from T&T, and today, Bewart arrived to collect them.
Very nice chap! He later on gave us all Alta Calenders, which was appreciated.
Get your ski stuff from T& T; it’s just in Little Cottonwood Canyon. Hidden.
Me and Tigger headed for the airport, where his car was waiting, very well organised with his name in lights next to it. Russell’s plane was delayed, so we went to the bar, after viewing the mosaic map on the floor of the airport and discovering that, while they had New Zealand, Oz didn’t seem to exist.
| The plane was delayed again and again, so eventually we gave up and drove the car back to the condo, to prepare ourselves for the party at Nickels/Crusty’s. I had some sheep stuff I’d forgotten to produce at the last party, and TB fell upon one item with ill-concealed delight. He played with it all night. |
|
|
|
| Stephana joined in, to humour him. (Oh, OK, it's actually a tissue-box cover) |
|
|
We had a good roll-up. Mike, the Cripple, insisted on coming along much to our
embarassment, and as is obvious here, no-one wanted to sit with him. Very uncouth fellow,
we all thought. And maimed! This night’s official lurker was Gregg Albert, though he isn’t really a lurker. |
Thus ends the second week of the Invasion: tragedy, comings and goings, and skiing.