HOLGATE'S FANZINE
Yes, notice, FANzine, as in written by the fans. Rather than the cowardly players, too gutless to put their name to it. The very
people who call Mark SPINELESS, can't even put their names on the piece of "literature" they deemed to call a Fanzine. At
least I can use a spell checker!! Well this is it, the last ever Fanzine. Enjoy!
HEROES BOW OUT IN SHAME.
Excellent Start Wasted!
Well here it is last game of the season. Hoping to win this one so we didn't finish the bottom of the table,
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
The team, following the advice of this Official Fanzine, stayed in last night. First they watched a pretty bland performance by
the England team and then they watched From Russia With Love. Well they should go back to Russia!
A fine start though, some of their best football all season. Great play, energy, commitment, and pace. First Chance came to
Mark who, in fine style, cocked it up completely! Next up Big Rich, showing unusual pace, ran half the length of the pitch, but
finding himself running out of room was unable to put the pace behind the ball before the edge of the area and so the keeper
had little trouble stopping it. Never mind, it was encouraging, to see them come up this well was fine. Richard soon came off
though, having slid in for the ball he grazed his knee quite badly, he'll have hell of a scab for some weeks now.
Still the team played well. In the first five minutes the, apologize for not having mentioned them sooner, Epileptic Monsters
(who had 4 subs) only had two attacks, both of which had to be retrieved by this reporter from the other side of a 10 ft fence,
tossers! Most impressive was the movement of our team. About ten minutes into the game the Monsters were on the attack,
taking a shot, while not brilliant, it was well stopped by Chambers and went straight to Ali (I think) who made space down the
wing taking up to someone else so insignificant it was probably Mark, who then wasted another shot on goal. Oh Well still
time. Several chance came but went, our team making the better plays. So much so the Monsters were certainly rattled and
frustrated, not only were our team making the most of the ball, when they got it they were closed down fast and hard. It
showed very much so on one ponce who, when tackled a bit late by Aeddan, choose to threaten him, "You do that again...!"
Though he didn't elaborate on the point much further. Pedgar was even accused of being a "Dirty Bastard". Complete tosh,
Pete has more showers than anyone else I know, and I would know! (I live next to him you dirty minded bugger Mark).
Half time then and the match is goal less and all expectation on our bench is that we could well win this, at least even a draw
should have been enough to guarantee staying off the bottom of the table.
The half time was, as usual, marked by the obligatory chorus of, "we can have them!", " It's our game this one" and "That cunt
keeps feeling me up" from Aylmer. If only he performed as well as he talked! (in all departments).
The second half was also quite good for our team, but it was better for the monsters. They came back stronger, and more
committed, (too committed for my liking, It's only a game guys!). They pressurized more and better. Several shots were made
by them, again they hoofed it over the fence, not me to collect it this time though! We took shots, good attempts, space made
but again finishing was a problem. Mark being the biggest culprit, putting it wide several times and once missing the ball
altogether. I get the impression that on a bigger pitch they would do better, they need more time on the ball to compose their
shots to make them stick.
Unfortunately a goal was inevitable and it came from the wrong team. Monsters 1, Heroes nil. And that is how it stayed for the
rest of the game. More chances were made but not as good and not as often. About five minutes from time the Heroes got a
free kick on the edge of the area, indirect. Big Rich took it, well enough to play now, with his surrounding players giving him
few options he was left to boot it across the area to Tom, at least that is the only thing I can think he was trying to do a he
actually booted it into the corner!
Speaking of Tom, and I have been accused of ignoring him in the past, Tom has to be the Hero of the match as if it weren't for
one excellent piece of defending the score would have been 1-0 before the break. The Monsters found a bit of space and
reached the edge of the area, Chambers committed himself to facing the Monster of about two feet away from him, made a
good block but knocked it back to another monster towards the wing. Richard, sprawled on the floor due to falling during the
block stood no chance of getting back on his line to save the shot, it was an open goal. But while the a fore mentioned monster
was readying his shot Tom ran in an stole the ball, out for a throw in and breathing time for Chambers. Good Defence.
A lot of work needs doing if the team are not going to be humiliated again next year, lets hope some one else isn't going to be
writing such scathing reports about the failures next year!
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