Minnie woke up in a hotel room at 5:09:23.9.  She knew, somehow, that 
she was in the Bronx.  A garden gnome was beside her in bed, and he 
announced,  "Whoa, you 
are certainly hot when you think about it." 
Then he disappeared. Minnie went out on the street, and when she finally 
got there, after a strenuous undertaking involving the slaying of three 
dragons, four rolls of duct tape, and one rabid monkey, there was an old 
man 
playing a piano. The piano fell on him, killing him instantly. Suddenly, 
a compact disk, a peanut, and a puce-coloured clown nose started 
insulting Minnie. Minnie retorted by stepping upon their ligaments.

Minnie decided to do something. She went into a gun shop, stealing 
plentiful amounts 
of penny candy. Then she went into 7-Eleven and stole a gun. With her 
new gun, she shot the penny candy. Then something happened. A 
disgruntled old welfare labourer started coming on to Minnie, so Minnie 
shot him.  Miraculously,  Minnie's old friend Horace started talking to 
her for some 
reason, so Minnie decided to have sex with him.

She woke up the next morning at approximately 7:18am according to the 
Atomic clock in Boulder, Colorado, in an alleyway.   Sadly, Horace was 
gone.   Then, she 
decided to go on another adventure. She decided to take one of those 
crowns you get 
at Burger King, several sizable chunks of dog excrement, and a 1983 
Tampa Bay phone directory. Minnie 
embarked upon her adventure at 9:46 am. She started, by catching a 
plane. 
  Sadly, the plane crashed, killing everyone but her.  "What the fuck 
should I do?" Minnie self-inquired with reckless abandon.  Minnie was 
stranded on a 
desert island. An elderly goat was already inhabiting the island. Minnie 
received an apple strudel from the goat.  "What the fuck should I do 
with this apple strudel?"  Minnie once again inquired.   Then Minnie 
noticed something, she was slowly floating into the atmosphere.  Minnie 
was terrified, and she decided to; well, she decided to do nothing, 
nothing at all.  Then, to her surprise, she was home, in her own bed, 
and awake.  Her whole family was standing around her, each eating a 
burrito with beef and strawberry filling, plus several types of rice. 
"Wonderful," Minnie said, as she started to count sheep.