The Blackman Story | ||||||||||||||||||||
| Intro | ||||||||||||||||||||
| We have spent many hours researching the history of this great man. Countless copies of Raw, Powerslam in W.O.W were looked through in order to find out some background to this icon of sports entertainment. We found one article. Therefore we thought "fuck it, we'll make it up". | |||||||||||||||||||
| The Beginning | ||||||||||||||||||||
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On 3/8/1883, Steve Blackman was born in a shed (I told you it was made up). When he was born three wise men came with gifts (not at the exact time that he was born obviously, that would be rude). These men were called McMahon, Patterson and Brisco. The gifts were a Kendo Stick, a Hi-Tech Bag and a beard. Blackman attached the beard to his face, put the Kendo Stick in the bag and set out to become a hero. As the years went by he became more and more like a leathal weapon, so he went and saw all four films. When he was a teenager he did not take part in other teen activities like drinking, going out, or having sex. Instead he masterbated, which aided him in having lightening quick hands. As time went by Steve knew that if he was going to make it to the top he would have to do something to capture people's attention. He challanged Trevor McDonald to the first ever Lions Den Weapons Match, wtih weapons being placed "all around the cage". To cut a long story short Trevor kicked his ass and Steve cried. That did not hold Steve back though. He was more determined than ever to be a star and went on a journey to find himself. When he came out of the toilet half an hour later, he set off to Stamford. | |||||||||||||||||||
| The Big Break | ||||||||||||||||||||
| Steve felt like he should do his bit for the country, so he stayed in the city. It was there that he attended a W.W.F event and saw that America needed help in it's war against Canada. When he put his newspaper down he saw that Vader was being beaten up by the Hart Foundation so jumped into the ring like the Twat... I mean hero that he is. He made a terrific showing at the 1997 Survivor Series being counted out after 5 minutes and showing a complete lack of understanding of the rules. From there Steve went from strength to strength winning...... bugger all really. no titles, no tournaments. He is still our hero though. | |||||||||||||||||||
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