Here are some of my favourite jokes from Southpark:

Kenny dies and goes to hell

One day, Kenny dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in dispair, he has his first meeting with a demon. Demon: Why so glum, chum? Kenny: What do you think? I'm in hell. Demon: Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. Kenny: You mean you can understand me? Demon: Sure I can, I have understood your desires when you were a mortal. You a drinker? Kenny: Sure, I love to drink. Demon: Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, diet Tabb... we drink till we throw up and then we drink some more and guess what no hang-overs. Kenny: Gee, that sounds great. Demon: You a smoker? Kenny: You better believe it. Demon: All right! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from around the world and smoke our friggin' lungs out. If you get cancer, it's ok... you're already dead. Kenny: Golly! Demon: I bet you like to gamble. Kenny: Yes, as a matter of fact I do. Demon: Good, because Wednesday is gambling day . Craps, blackjack, horse races, you name it. We even opened up a pai gow poker table. Kenny: Gosh, I never played pai gow before... Demon: Well now you can. You like to do drugs? Kenny: Yes, I love to do drugs. You don't mean... Demon: That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drigs you want, and if you overdose, it's okay...you're already dead. Kenny: Neat! I never realized that hell was such a swingin' place! Demon: You gay? Kenny: Uh, no. Demon: Oooh, you're gonna hate Fridays.

Cartman's Mom gets a Face Lift

Cartman's Mom goes to the doctor to see about getting a facelift. "Well, "says the doctor, "I can do the facelift, and then you'll have to come back in six months for a follow-up." "oh, no," Cartman's mom replies. "I want it all done in one shot. I don't want to have to come back." The doctor thinks for a second, then offers, "There is a new procedure where we put a screw in the top of your h ead. Then anytime you see wrinkles appearing, you just give it a little turn, which pulls the skin up, and they disappear." "That's what I want!", exclaims Cartman's mom. "Let's do that." Six months later, Cart's mom charges into the doctor's office. "Wel l, how's the procedure holding up?", the doctor asks. "Terrible!", she bellows, "it's the worst mistake I've ever made." "What's wrong", asks the doctor. "Just look at these bags under my eyes!", she hollers. "Lady, "the doctor retorts, "those aren't bags , those are your breasts. And if you don't leave that screw alone, you're going to have a beard!

After 20 years

After 20 years pass at South Park, The kid's dads decide to play golf one day. One gets detained in the clubhouse, so the other three headed for the first tee and began talking about their children. "My son Eric," says one, "has made quite a name for himself in the building industry. He began as a carpenter, but now owns his own construction and design firm. He's so successful, in fact, in the last year he was able to give a good friend a brand new home as a gift. The second dad, not to be outdone, states "My son Kyle began his career as a car salesman, but now owns a multi-line dealership. He's so successful, in fact, in the last six months he gave a friend two brand new cars as a gift." The third dad chimes in. "My son Kenny worked his way up in a stock brokerage firm, and in the last few weeks gave a good friend a large stock portfolio as a gift." The fourth dad finally arrives at t he first tee, and the first dad tells him that they have been discussing their progeny and asks what line of work his son is in. "To tell the truth, I am not very pleased with how my son Stan has turned out," he replies. "For fifteen years, he's been a hairdresser, and I've just recently discovered that he's a homosexual. But, on the bright side, he must be very good at what he does because his last three boyfriends have given him a brand new house, two cars, and a big pile of stock certificates."

Big Gay Al gets captured by Indians

A bunch of indians capture Al and bring him back to their camp to meet the chief. The chief says to Al, "You going to die. But we sorry for you, so give you one wish a day for three days. On sundown of third day, you die. What is first wish?" Al says, "I want to see my horse." The indians get his horse. Al grabs the horse's ear and whispers something, then slaps the horse on the ass. The horse takes off. Two hours later, the horse comes back with a naked blonde. She jumps off the horse and goes into the teepee with the Al. The Indians look at each other, figuring, "Typical white man - can only think of one thing." The second day, the chief says, "What your wish today?" Al says, "I want to see my horse again." The Indians bring him his horse. Al leans over to the horse and whispers something in the horses ear, then slaps it on the ass. Two hours later, the horse comes back with a naked redhead. She gets off and goes in the teepee with Al. The Indians shake their heads, figuring, "Typical white man - going to die tomorrow and can only think of one thing." The last day comes, and the chief says, "this your last wish, white man. What you want?" Al says, "I want to see my horse again." The Indians bring him his horse. Al grabs the horse by both ears, twists them hard and yells, "Read my lips! POSSE, damn it! P-O-S-S-E!"