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WWF Wrestlers
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Big Show: OK. This guy has ALOT of potential and shit, he is easily the strongest guy in wrestling right now (look how he manhandles people like Kane and the Taker), and I think that he doesn't even KNOW his own strength. Problem is, if he is given the HONEST chance at a belt, who's gonna beat him? And please don't email me saying Austin will cause we know he can't. So the thing is he's unbeatable and that is just too bad cause they'll eventually have to make him look stupid by losing to someone like Austin. Oh and another thing... that music he's got has gotta GO!
Steve Austin: I liked him at first. Every week I'd watch to see who'd get stunnered next. Then he turned into a bonafide jabroni. See, what they are doing is the same thing that happened to Bret Hart in WWF, same thing that happened to Scott Hall (as Razor), and to Hulk Hogan. He's played out. SO all the American brain surgeons love him. OOOH. I mean he's won the belt enough, he's on most of them, and he's just gotten to be same old. Good while he lasted but I think its time he just disappeared. Or grew some hair. Whatever.
The Rock: Not to be biased or anything, but the Rock IS the Chosen One, the Rock IS the Great One, and the Rock IS theeee BEST damn People's Champion there ever was! He's simply electrifying and his mic skills alone make him the best. I know someones gonna say "its wrestling, mic skills don't mean anything" Well, actually, its sports entertainment, and he's a breath of fresh air compared to someone like Goldberg who can't put a sentence together. So everyone's a jabroni compared to the Rock, PLUS he's an awesome wrestler.
DX (RoadDog & X-Pac): Well the Road Dog is ok (except for that T to the R to the U shit), and he is a good wrestler I think, and X-Pac is a good athlete and he gets everyone pumped its just that ... well... he's freakin annoying! SHAVE MAN!!! GEEZ look like a freakin rabi!
Triple H/Mr. Ass/Chyna: I met Triple H and Chyna once back in the original DX days and he was cool and all, but as a ring persona, I like him now that he's a bad ass cause I think, like many people, it suits him better. He's a real bastard when he wants to be and it brings out the best in him. Mr. Ass is a jerk off end of story. Chyna is investing too much money into plastic surgery and the thing is SHE CAN'T LOOK GOOD! She's nasty so just give it up you freakin Amazon!
The Brood: They all have potential if used right. They're all young and exciting to watch, just i like it more when the were a trio. I don't know where they are going with this break up angle.
D'Lo/Mark Henry: You know, Mark Henry really annoyed me at first with that Olympian angle. I mean fine he was good at the Olympics, man just get over it. Get an angle. I mean the guy is a character and with this Sexual Chocolate thing he's funny as hell. Reminds me of Fat Bastard from Austin Powers 2 for some reason. D'Lo is cool too, he's got attitude and athleticism and isn't that what made HBK a star?
Val Venis/Godfather: I like the ho's. I really don't care about the 2 jabroni's in the ring when there a five FINE ASS ho's outside the ring.
PMS: Speaking of ho's... man I think Terri Runnels and Ryan Shamrock would make great lesbians. Jacqueline is nasty, but the other 2 are gorgeous so make a movie girls!
Kane: He's alright I just can't forget he used to be Isaac Yankem and it kills it for me.
Undertaker: Old. Annoying. Boring to watch. LOSER.
Corporation: Bossman fits in better here in the WWF than he did in WCW i believe, but he still is a jabroni. Mideon, Viscera, and the Acolytes are just guys with no better gimmick. I like the Posse although they're jobbers but for some reason they are funny. Shane-O-Mac is cool i think. He's refreshing and he's got attitude and developing mic skills. He does a good bronco buster too.
Owen Hart: Look. I feel bad for him dying and all but i won't come out here saying he was my favorite wrestler just cause he's dead. Rest in peace and all that, but he wasn't my FAVE. He was a good athlete and all and he was entertaining but he wasn't the best.
I'll get some more WWF reviews here soon.
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WCW Wrestlers
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Hollywood Hogan: I hated him as the red and yellow. However, i think he makes a great heel and this Hollywood thing revitalized a dying career. People really got tired of the red and yellow and i personally wanted to puke everytime he won. But i love Hollywood. He's awesome. Ok so he is a 3 move wonder but he MADE wrestling. And theres no changing that. And i think he's got great mic skills, so as an entertainer he is up there at the top.
Ric Flair: Retire man!! For real, his tits are starting to look like my grandmothers!
Kevin Nash: Why is he such a wuss now? What happened to Big Sexy the giant killer? I don't know man, him and Hall better get it together and wreak some havoc or something soon... although for some reason I liked how he beat up on Hollywood last Nitro! He's turning heel again :)
Scott Hall: I love the guy, but he's gotta wrestle sometime! He makes a cameo appearance every two months and then disappears for a year!
Benoit/Malenko/Saturn: Benoit is great. Saturn is great too and thank god he lost the dress that was so stupid. (Stinko) Malenko reminds me of those big headed small bodied aliens. I think he needs a personality, he's like freakin Al Gore!
Sting: I hate this guy. First of all, in case you're from Mars, he's a crow rip-off. Secondly, apart from his un-originality, he has NO mic skills! It's showtime folks? i'm back in black? What the hell is that? Very bad mic skills, and he's not that great a wrestler either. By the way nice finisher Sting... Bret Hart's been there done that though son. And just so you don't think I am a bandwagon jumper, when he joined the Wolfpac (at the time my fave group) I still thought he stunk. Him and the guy in my next review.
Lex Luger: The total package huh? Well I think he's a package alright but its not one i'd wanna open. He's a stiff wrestler, he can't sell a move if his life depended on it and he looks like a bitch. His moves suck big hairy ones, and he has no personality. Which further proves to me why he and Sting would be friends.
Curt Hennig/West Texas Rednecks: Ok look. I was the biggest Mr. Perfect fan back in the 80's and he is a very respectable wrestler. He had that personality you'd love to hate cause he'd claim he's perfect and he nearly was! But now this... I can understand the Windhams and Duncam to be like this, they suck anyways, but Hennig? From Mr. Perfect to Mr. Redneck is not exactly the transition I had in mind here. I'm sure neither did he but WCW really butchers peoples careers at times and this is a prime example. He comes out two-steppin to the ring and personally i think he must be very embarassed. And he should be.
Konnan/Rey Jr/No Limit Soldiers: First off, I will say that i like No Limit as artists. I have a few of their productions and they are pretty tite, but to mix them into wrestling AND make them wrestle is stupid. I never liked wrestling/music collaborations where the artists wrestled. Its dumb. Just like BASKETBALL PLAYERS AND FREAKIN TALK SHOW HOSTS WRESTLING! Its stupid. Konnan is purely annoying. I liked him at one point but he's just dumb now. The best thing that happened to him is Vampiro kicking his ass every week on Nitro. Rey Jr is an excellent athlete and ever since losing the mask i think that he's really turned it up a few notches and thats saying alot cause he was exciting already. Just don't make him a Giant Killer! Good grief he's only 3 feet tall!
Ernest Miller: From a jobber he has quickly become a ... mid carder. Well its good enough. But i must admit i REALLY hated the guy at first. I'd love it when Norton kept coming out and kicking his ass, but now he's pretty hype. Plus he can dance, just not as good as Disco.
nWo Black and White: They disgrace the very logo. They REALLY REALLY suck. I mean, they have Vincent, Brian Adams, Horace, Stevie Ray and Norton. Norton can destroy them all first of all, and second of all they SUCK. There's not much more i can say other than as a group, individually, whatever, they just suck. They're not even funny. Norton rules, but the rest just SUCK!
Buff Bagwell: I loved him in the nWo. He was like my idol, cause he was funny, he had attitude, and he's a great athlete. BUT now, every day he more and more resembles George Michaels and he is beginning to irritate me. I don't know what'll fix it now.
Steiners: I like Big Poppa Pump, although i do think he'd fit alot better in the WWF. His attitude, peronality etc, fits alot better in the WWF and its R rated program. He should lay off the roids though, i mean those arms CANNOT get any bigger. Rick Steiner is a man i have hated with a passion for years, but ever since the attitude change and the loss of those retarded ear muffs, he's impressed me. Just the streak in his beard looks like he threw up on himself.
I'll get some more reviews here soon.
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