Do I make you horny? - To playing partners after good drive.
Who's your daddy!?! - Said after someone in the group spanks a drive
Shogs'ed it - Hitting the ground first with the driver, but with a good result
A Teddy - A short drive into the water
Angel gooser - Really high tee shot
HOS - Hands of Stone (big hitter but no touch around the green)
Smack it good one time!! - hit a long drive
Let the big dog eat - Hit your driver
Red Ass - murdering the next tee shot after just missing a short bogey putt on the previous hole
Pitching wood - said as partner skies their drive
"Duck!!" - What is said to the rest of the group when the driver is about to be thrown - Lynn F.
Juan Es Alto - another saying after someone skies a drive (from beavis and butt-head)
He has spoken! - after an awsome drive during a bad day
300 yard drive - said on a skied tee shot. as in, 100 up, 100 out, and 100 down
Hit it OB Wan Kenobe - after o.b. wan kenobe from star wars
You the man - excellent drive
OOhhh,baby! you'd better put a stewardess on that one!!!! - shouted after your partner hits a high, long drive
Totally out of character - said when you hit an unsually perfect drive
Give me the lumber - time for a big shot (a wood)
Tee it high, let it fly ~ tee'm high, hit'm far - salutation
Dick-out (D-O) - when you don't hit your drive past the ladies tees
The only driving you've done all day is on the way here
A long way the wrong way - said after someone hits a bad shot off of the tee
Got both cheeks into it - said after hitting a very long drive
Alot of postage, no address - long drive with no accuracy
Deep compression - long tee shot
You crushed that one - long tee shot
That'll play - said after a mediocre drive
Don't touch it Lord - said when someone skies their tee shot
Put your skirt on - didn't hit the drive past the ladies tee
Not far but straight - said when someone whiffs a tee shot
Nice wedge! - said after someone skies a driver
Elephant ass - when you or your partner gets under the drive too much, high and stinky
Boy, you really slapped that bitch! - told to a playing partner who smokes a drives
Houston... we have a problem - for very high tee shots
Prove your a man, let it hang out this hole - said to a man whose drive does not reach the ladies tee
Bogey dust - sand trap
Kitty box - sand trap
Piss Poor Marine - when you fail to get it out of the bunker and it just dies on the beach
Sunny side up - when your ball is burried in a sand trap and only half of the ball is visible
Sand bass - when the ball hits the sand and it splashes sand up
Lawrence of Arabia - you (or your buddy) has been in the sand all day!
Rommell - hit from one sand trap into another sand trap
Archie - ball in a sand trap
Into the kitty litter with all the other sh**! - a bad one into the trap
Life is a beach - hit into a sand trap
OBPLHA - out of bounds, probably lost, hit again
A.M.F. - ball gone out of bounds is adios mother f**ker!
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I'm not really slicing, the planets are improperly aligned - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know, if I had hit that one a little farther and straighter it would have been perfect - oh yeh
I've never played this bad before - this one always falls on deaf ears
I shot 84, but it could have been 78 - said always every round
Its not me, its the distance markers - what to say when your ego is hurt by your short distance
I play in the 70's. - Any hotter, and I have to go inside.
The Hillary - The ugliest hole in the State of New York. Nothin' but the the worst lies, shady green and a hole.
A Hillary Scorecard - A card that uses altered numbers to improve it's appearance.
Beer Wench - The girl that drives the refreshment cart
Jerry Springer moment - throwing a temper tantrum on the course
"Got Weiskoffed" - to get berated by a fellow player
This is economy golf - Getting the price down to a dime a stroke by way of bad play
Sorry my dad didn't glue a club to my hand - when you're partner tells you you are no Tiger Woods
I am not Tiger Woods! - when you really, really suck
Every conceivable risk day! - this is a day when all golfers in the group (probably hung-over) agree to forgoe all traditional golfing logic and play the most risky shot at all times
Human rain delay - a slow player
I can play a lot better than this - I just never have - after taking your usual double on the shortest par 3 on the course
UFB - Unf---ing believeable
Loft - lack of f**king talent. as in what's your problem - loft!
Cart path golf - look to see which side of the fairway the cart path runs.for cart path only days
FISO - F**k!, I'm still out
Don't let the dog out - don't choke during a good day
If the queen had balls she'd be king - said when someone gives an "if" excuse
A grass sloth - a realy slow player
Thank you very little - said after someone compliments you on what you feel is a mediocre shot (from caddyshack)
Monkeyboy golf - when you are in the trees all day hunting for your balls
You're swinging really well - you're just swing too often!
7-woods and dirty books help old men keep it up - said to a young buck just took for $10 a hole
That's your problem pal, you're always looking up - found this written on the inside of a golf cart just above my head
"Ok, pick up your sh*t and lets go"- To the player who isn't on the green yet but is laying double par. - Scott A.
Deep woods - when your partner shanks a long one into the bush
I came, I saw, I left them in awe!! - reserved for Tiger Woods
Army golf - playing the rough (ie left-right-left-right)
Golf cart management ~ cart golf - said when you and your riding partner hit shots to the same spot.
We've got it surrounded - when several balls are on the green evenly spaced around the hole
Brain fart - bad decision
Hard times - nothing works that day
Gargle peanutbutter - when someone chokes
Swallowed his/her apple - choked
Just hold four fingers up - instead of yelling
I've got my veggie game today - said to your playing partners when your game is lifeless and shows little sign of a pulse.
"Stewart, give me the ol' Billy Baroo" - Said by Judge Shmalles in Caddyshack
You have to get off the Estragen - Said when your partner keeps putting short
Put the flaps down - when a putt is flying past the hole
Too much Paisan - You putted too hard
Gimme - an agreement between two people who can't putt.
Take the rake - to concede a putt (rake it away)
Grow brakes - When your ball tears past the hole.
That putt was longer than my first marriage- self explanatory
Get it close - Said to an opponent about to putt a 3-4 footer to win the hole
A Linda Lovelace - When a player chokes or gags on a short shot or putt
Tastes like chicken - getting a birdie.
Never up never in - said after putt is left short
Did you get that putter caught up in your skirt? - This is said to a player that leaves an important putt short - by a large margin - my apologies to the ladies...
Grab a chair! } Shouted to your putted ball as it shoots past the hole!
GROW HAIR!! - shouted at your putted ball as it shoots past the hole!!
Hit a house! - watching your putt sail by the hole
I'd one-putt if the hole had hair! - self explainatory
A little meat left on that bone - when you have left a long second putt
Pull the trigger!! - said or yelled at someone who stands over a shot/putt too long.
USA - Your still away
Whip cream on dog shit - sinking a long put to make a nine.
Never up, never in - the quintessential cliche. no description needed.
Call 911 - when someone chokes a short putt or starts hitting several poor shots in a row.
Nice touch, hulk - 6 inch putts goes by 2 feet
Nice choke, Sprewell - left a 6 inch putt 1 inch short.
He's got powder burns on his hands - said after a short putt
A little light in the loafers - hit a putt too easy
Write when you get work - spoken to a putt that has just past the hole and is still going hard
That was about as close as ice cream is to shit - badly missed putt
Dolly parton - a putt which uses all of the cup, same as victory lap
Just like a teenager, it went off in your hands - said to playing partner who just blasted a putt 8 feet past the hole
We knew there was a hole somewhere - after someone in you foursome finally sinks a putt
3 jack - 3 putt a green
Wessley to the bridge - said when a putt is hit way to hard (wessly crusher from star trek)
A mick jagger - a major lip-out putt
Hit a wall! - yelled when you've obviously hit the ball too hard on a putt
Your bra strap slip? ~ got my putter stuck in my bra - does your husband play golf? ~ hit it with your purse!
Groin putt - short testy (testes) putt in the 4-6 foot range
Tote your tapper - putt is outside the gimmee range. you have to putt again
That ball is afraid of the dark - said after putt just misses the hole
I haven't 4 putted in 3 years - hey, ya know, sometimes this one is actually true
Come down here and fight like a man! - said staring at the sky when you miss a short putt
It's not the putter, it's the putz - questions?
Ninety percent of all putts left short don't go into the hole - supposedly said by Lee Trevino after a short putt!
Sh*t or get off the pot - for those who feel it is neceassary to eye a 3 inch putt for 10 minutes
Would you like the pin in or out - said when a putt goes off the green
Too much gorilla - said about a putt which blows past the hole and off the green
Full flaps - yelled when you've obviously hit the ball too hard on a putt
Skirt blew up - said after a very bad putt, usually a short putt left short
Shark bit - missed an easy putt, or always the brides maid.
Stunted growth - short putt
That put broke six inches, straight down - said when one holes a putt
Hit it right in the liver - putt that goes in the side of the cup
Just like you sex life - said after a putt is hit short and not hard enough
Victory lap ~ all-around good putt - ball goes all the way around the hole before falling into the hole
UUEE - The ball comes back at you after hitting the hole.
Louder! - putting and not quite making it to the hole!
Haiti putt ~ third world putt } just one more revolution!
LPGA putt - goes both ways
Honeymoon putt - goes off in your hands
Alice - a putt that comes up short, golfer has no b***s
Mother-in-law putt - nothing but lip
Had it right in the hear - said when a putt is right at the hole but left a little short
Is it hard to putt in high heels - said to some who leaves putt short
Lot of chicken left on that bone - after leaving a long putt way short
Gas too expensive today - putting short
On the Satan Train - three 6's in a row
A Clinton - The response you give when you don't want to admit how many strokes you took on a hole
Dog balls - the ever-popular "8" on the scorecard
Snowman - an eight, 8
Took a Troy Aikman - take an eight on a hole
Oh Shit !! - An explanation of how the ball will probably end up after a particularly bad shot....
Mole Shagger !! - Similar to a worm worrier - where your ball bounds along the ground, threatening to kill anything in it's path !!
A Slick Willy - A short, thin shot that hooks to the left.
Redneck wedge - a shot, sliced into deep woods, which, inexplicably, comes careening back onto the fairway after smacking a tree
Hitting it Monica - a shot that is fat and it sucks
Get funky in the bedroom - said as ball is flying dangerously close to hole
Lewinsky'd - A shot that requires a little clean up.
Some Scooby - as in Scooby doo, Screw, when the ball spins back
Bipli - you've taken way too many stokes -- you pick up, put the ball in your pocket and declare a bipli -- Ball In Pocket Lost Interest.
Like a homesick gopher - ball that cruises along the green and dives into the hole
Happy ball - taking mulligans on the same shot until you are happy.
E.A. (elephant's ass) - it's high and it stinks (said of a skied tee shot)
Give me Lot-O-Room - what you say when you slice a ball right, hoping that it goes far enough right to give you room for a shot
Hit a house - when you steam roll a putt 10 feet past the hole
Chunky monkey - when you hit a shot fat
Like a man with one arm in a wood chopping contest - description of how you hit the ball when you hack
Caveman golf - someone who swings as hard as possible on every shot " me hit ball, me hit ball far"
Long Dong - someone who's a long hitter
Into the furniture - Ball struck into the trees.
Get a barkie - To get up and down immediately after hitting a tree.
The best ball I hit all day was when I stepped on the rake on 17. - 19th hole revelry.
Grip it an' Rip it - duh!!
Like f*****g your sister - It's all the way up there but you're not proud of it
Drive for show. putt for dough... - no explantaion needed
Nutted it - hit it just right
Wow you hit that one wfr! - way f*****g right
Gay golf - You never go straight
Your chances are slim and none, and slim just left town - nuff said
Its like a f*****g magnet - the woods
At least it went left this time - after being right all day
Hit the ball in the nuts - Striking the ball slightly below the waist (thin)
Tomahawked - Hitting the ball really thin (almost cutting it in half)
Chew Grass - shouted at the ball when you want an approach shot to stop or spin back
Grow teeth - wanting the ball to stop on the green
Tin Cup - a player repeatitively tries impossible shot, makes big score on the hole (also could be a Jon Daly)
Jizz - backspin
Had some spunk on that one - knocking a shot well past the hole
Hit it a little skanky - a bad shot (shank)
Got all of that one - said when player duffs or shanks a shot
Get in the hole! - said after a player hits a very poor shot that is head nowheres near the hole
Knife - 1 iron
Standing too close to the ball, after you hit it! - self-explainatory!
UBU - ugly but useful- said of a bad shot that has a good result
Roots - a clean and shallow divot on tour
Got a little bark-spin on that one! - used when you hit the ball into the trees and it bounces back onto the fairway or other good condition.
That one's longer than train smoke! - a really long hit.
Grub check - taking a very large, deep divot
Do you eat with those hands? - said to your buddy after he hits a particularly bad chip or putt
It's a condom - it's up there and safe but you don't like it
A Thurman Munson - a dead yank
Thank the monkeys - said when golfer benefits from hitting a tree
I see you played a little float on that shot (or) next time less fade / draw and more float - said to golfer who skims shot off a water hazard to safety/shot skips on water hazard before drowning
That's where bears go to die - when someone hits deep into the woods
Mulligan - take a free stroke sometime during the game
Right church, wrong pew - said when the shot has the direction but not the right distance
It's an Eddie - known in vermont as a relatively good shot but the golfer who hit it complains as he hits it (or right after)
Ugly with big tits - a terrible shot that goes in the hole
One in a row - after you finally hit a decent shot
Well at least it's in the fairway - self explanatory
Right club, wrong address - a shot off line
"Oh he gotta-holda-dat-one" - said with an accent like Bill Murray in Caddy Shack
Pay the man - bad shot
You're standing too close to the ball - after you've hit it !
Indians - yelled as a partner hits a ball toward the woods to try to scare the ball back into the fairway
Spank it and yank it - different from yank it and spank it, this version I use means you totally overswing and pull it 90 degress.
Oprah Golf - when you alternately hit your shots fat and thin. your partners will likely start saying you go girl! after every shot
A Nelson - Rockefeller
A darth fader - a slice
Hang wang - let it all out on a shot.
Chili-dipper - miss-hit sending ball rolling about 5ft.
Sit down! - said to a shot that is rolling to far
Susy-patch - a very long, wide divot
Gopher killer - same as worm burner
Thats the most wood you've got on one all day - said when a player hits a tree rock solid when having a very bad driving day (not as effective since metal woods, but still humorous.)
The lug nuts are gettin loose now - said when a strong player for the day starts to hit a few wayward shots late in the round (a prelude to the wheels are comin off!)
Cutting a beaver pelt - taking a very large divot
Grass granny - after a big divot
Weedwacker deluxe - an extremely large divot
I was keeping it out of the wind - said after you've hit a worm burner
Jump all over it - really spanking a shot
Jack it & wack it - same as yank it & spank it
Give it some monkey juice - put some power into it
Look up, see a bad shot - when you raise your head before completing your swing
You had some good stuff on that one - said after somone hits a shot which obviously has a lot of action or spin on it
Texas bug f****r - another name for worm burner
Put some dookie on it - make the ball stick and backup
PBFU - post birdie f*** up. usually stated when a birdie is followed by a double bogey - Clay W.
Crack another egg - hit another ball(provisional)
Looks like a dead cat flying - a large long divot flying through the air
Worm burner - a very low hit
Reload - after you hit one out of bounds
Stop shanking!! - once you get the shanks - Fish (R.H.)
Ungulunka - Indian for "way right" - Fish (R.H.)
Shank you! - shank you very much
"Billy Williams" - Said when a ball starts heading for a tree or trees hoping it will bounce out in the fairway
Champion Genes - Happens to the Champion family of golfers when the ball is heading for the trees it will bounce out in the fairway 95% of the time - Walt C.
Oh the humanity! - what you yell after an extremely bad shot
Better throw a provisional - when your partner angrily throws a club but it's not in the fairway
That'll play - what your playing partner says when you hit the ball, but not all that well
Hit the big ball - duff the ball and hit the earth first
Casual golf - what does not land in the fairway is regarded as casual water
Leaving nothing in you bag - when you (or a buddy) swings so hard, you do a 360, and almost auger yourself into the ground
Marine corps golf - left-right-left-right...
Blew by you - you hit your drive past your buddies and call it a Linda Ronstat
Fore Lord! - your partner yells this after you hitting a ball a mile in the air
U.S.A - you shoot again,
"Your still out" - three most common used words on the course
A liz taylor - a little fat but not bad
A Shelly Winters - real fat and ugly
A Rush Limbaugh - fat and ugly and right
A Hilary Clinton - ugly and left
Boy, this course is hard! - what say after whiffing the ball completely
The best wood in your bag is a pencil - enough said
Having a golf experience - standing over the ball way to long
On the dance floor but can't hear the music~on the dance floor but can't see the band ~your dancing "Need a fog horn" - in the direction of the hole when your ball is on the wrong side of a very large green
Yank it & spank it - fast play golf
Mandy - topping the ball, rolling all the way, and ending up 12 inches from the pin. you weren't very proud of the hit, but it sure feels and ends up good!!
A JFK, Jr. - dump 3 in the water
A Ted Kennedy - dump one in the water
Like a Cuban immigrant you'll need a raft - a ball hit into the water
Hit a Brook Shields - dump one in the water (blue lagoon)
Jacques cousteau - when a ball lands in the middle of a water hazard
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