Keoki Destroyed on Debut

EBW "Two Years to the Day"

REPORT FROM EBW PPV:
LAST NIGHT SAW ONE OF THE MOST SPECTACULAR EBW PAY-PER-VIEWS THAT WILL SHAKE THE ROOTS OF SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT. THE HYPE THAT HAS BEEN BUILT UP IN THE MEDIA OVER THE PAST MONTH AND A HALF CERTAINLY PAID OFF LAST NIGHT. THERE WAS EVERYTHING FROM TABLES ON FIRE TO LUMBERJACK MATCHES TO OVER-THE-WALL ONES AND THERE WERE TWO NEW CHAMPIONS DECLARED ALSO.

*OPENING MATCH
- WORKIE VS KEOKI
THIS MATCH SEEN THE HYPED DEBUT OF KEOKI A.K.A. EXTREME JAKE. HOWEVER THIS 'MONSTER' DID NOT TURN OUT TO BE 6'5", 300LBS BUT A 5'9" 140 POUNDER. AFTER HIS LONG ENTRANCE TO THE RING KEOIKI WAS FLATTENED BY THE WORKIE, WHOSE BRIGHT YELLOW ATTIRE CERTAINLY MADE AN IMPACT AS IT TOOK A SINGLE BLOW TO KNOCK KEOIKI OUT FOR THE 1,2,3.

*E.C. TITLE- MOZZ VS SCHEMIE
FOR SOME REASON SCHEMIE HAD A TITLE SHOT. THE LUMBERJACKS CONSISTED OF THE SWO WHO HAD BEEN KNOWN TO 'SCREW' THE SCHEMIE OUT OF VICTORY. BUT THEY HAD A CHANGE OF HEART AS IT WAS OBVIOUS THE LUMBERJACKS WERE OUT FOR MOZZ. WHEN MOZZ WAS THROWN OUT OF THE RING THE SWO MADE SURE THEY HURT HIM. WHEN SCHEMIE WAS THROWN OUT OF THE RING THE SWO TURNED A BLIND EYE TO IT AND ACTUALLY LET HIM JOIN IN THEIR GAME OF FOOTBALL. ALTHOUGH THE SCHEMIE WAS SICK AFTER HAVING A DRINK OF ALCOHOL, HE WENT ON TO WIN THE MATCH WITH THE BUCKFAST BOMB. SHORTLY AFTER THOUGH HE WAS ESCORTED TO A NEARBY HOSPITAL TO GET HIS STOMACH PUMPED.

*TSM VS MIKEY MILLS- RETIREMENT MATCH
ALTHOUGH ODDS ON FAVOURITE THIS MATCH WAS NOT AS EASY AS THE MATCH MAY HAVE SOUNDED FOR TSM. STARTING OFF TECHNICALLY, THE MATCH SOON TURNED VIOLENT AS BOTH WRESTLERS CAREERS WERE ON THE LINE. MIKEY WAS PUT THROUGH A TABLE WHICH WAS ALIGHT AND IT APPEARED THAT HIS BODY HAD BEEN IGNITED ALSO. AFTER BEING BUSTED OPEN IN THE GARAGE MIKEY SLAMMED TSM ON THUMB TACS BEFORE BEING DEFEATED AND FORCED TO RETIRE. MIKEY MADE AN EMOTIONAL FAREWELL TO THE FANS. HE WAS JOINED BY OTHER EBW STARS BEFORE TSM CONVINCED MIKEY TO TURN HIS BACK ON THEM WHICH HE DID.

DURING THE COMMERCIAL BREAK FOOTAGE SHOWED THE SCHEME SELLING THE EC TITLE TO BUY SOME WEED!


*SCOOT VS LOYALIST- TOP CONTENDERSHIP
AFTER BEING VICTORIOUS IN THEIR PREVIOUS ENCOUNTER, SCOOT ONCE AGAIN DEFEATED THE LOYALIST TO GAIN A SHOT AT THE TITLE AT THE NEXT PPV IN THIS BRAWLING MATCH.

*REMBOY VS SHAUNY KERRANG- EBW TITLE OVER THE WALL MATCH
SHAUNY KERRANG WENT INTO THE MTACH AFTER BEATING UP TRIPLE M ON FRIDAY NIGHT, FORCING HIM TO LOSE TWO FRONT TEETH. THE CONTROVERSIAL FIGHT HAS LEFT SHAUNY'S POSITION QUESTIONABLE AS THERE ARE PEOPLE BACSTAGE WHO BELIEVED HIS ACTIONS WERE JUSTIFIABLE WHILE SOME INCLUDING MMM OBVIOUSLY DISAGREE. THERE WERE MANY GOOD MOVES IN THIS MATCH AND JUST AS SHAUNY KERRANG WAS ABOUT TO WIN THE TITLE BY CLIMBING ALMOST OVER THE WALL- TRIPLE MADE A REMARKABLE COMEBACK AND USED A SNOW SLEDGE TO BEAT SHAUNY K. BACK INTO THE RING BEFORE PULLING REMBOY OUT TO VICTORY.

*HARCORE ROYAL RUMBLE MATCH
TRIPLE M WAS INVOLVED IN THIS MATCH AND USED HIS MIND TO BEAT UP OPPONENTS. AFTER A MARVELLOUS HURRACANARA BY SCOOT ON SHAUNY KERRANG AND A MISSED POWERBOMB ON MOZZ COURTESY OF EBW CREW MEMBER STEPHEN BOYLE CAMERA ABILITIES, MMM PLAYED DEAD BEFORE RANDOMLY ATTACKING OPPENENTS OUT OF THE EVENT. AFTER DROPKICKING SHAUNY K. OUT OF THE RING TRIPLE M WAS DECLARED THE NEW HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP!!!!