My Tory nicknamed "Torykins" and "Tor Tor"  You were and still are the most purrfect and precious cat.  How I loved you and still do is beyond words.  You gave more to me than I to you. I can only await the time when I can cross the bridge to be with you again so I can maul you with my kisses and hugs and look into you precious little face with those big green eyes, move you paws and talk to you of how wonderful you are.  We can eat chocolate cake, cookies and chocolate donuts again together, although you prefer to eat my portion rather than your own.  We will be able to sit in the sun again as we used to in the summer and I can watch as you parade around on the sidewalk drawing attention to yourself and marvels from passers-by, who can't believe that you are so beautiful and can just walk about by yourself.  I will be able to watch your soft loveable belly swing side to side as as you prance about being your busy cute little self.  You can watch me from your table or perch as I do my things looking so adorable that I have to stop and maul and hug you.  But the secret is, I know that you love every minute of it.  People say cats are independant but not you; you dote on my hugging, caressing and kissing you, you just "eat it up", in fact, you are so adorable that I want to eat you up!  And when I will start reading a new paperback book, the next day I will find it full of holes from your trying to eat or perhaps read it too. When I arrive I will have to remember, again, to quickly tear of my luggage tags because I know how you love to eat them; but remember when you ate a wad of tape and had to have it removed from your tummy?  And oh yes, I will keep lots of photos around, all of you, so that you can lick to your little heart's content the finishing on them.

But most and best of all we will be able cuddle on the sofa and in the bed again.  How many times I was unable to settle down to sleep because you were there and I just could not stop loving you.  I would try to stop and my hands and mouth went right back to loving and kissing you some more over and over while you just laid there eating it up.

Yes, my dearest darling Tory, your void in my life right now is and will always be horrible. Of course I am filled with guilt in that I attributed your final retreating to your displeasure with Ti Punch and was not able to see or comprehend that perhaps it was not only that but that you were sick or possibly still sick from your April ordeal in the Vet's.  But please know, my dearest, that it upset me so so very much your reaction to Ti Punch; I was utterly sickened by your retreat.  That is why I engaged the behavorist and trainer, because I wanted my "old Tory" back-the one who was with me all the time, the one who greeted me at the door even from a sound sleep, the one who paraded about the apartment and watched the birdies.  I was so incredibly upset by what Ti Punch caused you, but yet please understand that my bringing him here was a "rescue" in and of itself, a many year thought out decision that I was prepared to undertake with the committment to have us all live peacefully together. I really tried my very best to make it work for us all and to help you especially.  So please, my Torykins, understand it was not without thought of you and your "baby brother" nor sister that I made this decision.  You were, and still are, my top animal.

You were such a strong little being who fought so hard and never complained nor asked for anything.  Please forgive me for not seeing you sooner in the hospital, but I honestly thought it better for you not to come and I also was acting on the premise that you would be home by the week-end.  Never did I image your suffering that appeared on Saturday.  I can only think some was caused by my neglecting you there for 5 days and the procedure that you endured Friday.  Your little body was saying something.

I know you were aware of the time we spent together sleeping on the floor in each other's arms and of being together the next day and of all the endearing and loving words I imparted to you after your life left you.  I know you felt all of this in life also.  I know you felt my energy through my hand as I spoke to you and placed my letter and my rose between your darling paws.  I know you understand the ring and the writings I gave you.  It entwines us forever; for with a circle there is no interruption.

I know now, too, that you can receive the meaning of these words which I have been writing to you.  Know that I am taking care of your "baby brother", the "other half", who realizes your absence.  We are together for each other.  You shine through him for both of us.  I will always cherish your soft fur, your little whiskers, and your baby paw prints which I took.

And now, my Tory, receive all my love and wrap yourself in it forever until we can again wrap ourselves in each other when I come to see and meet your in eternity and join you with your cat mother, Chessie, and my most loving wonderful dog, Hipper.  We shall all live in peace in love and in the warmth of each other for ever and ever.

Your endlessly loving mother.