If Jeff Foxworthy was a geek -If you measure the ID and OD of the donut before picking it up, you might be an Engineer. -If you go to a pickup joint and ask the girl her E-mail address instead of phone number, you might be an Engineer. -If you say good night to your computer before going to bed, you might be an Engineer. -If you refuse to fill up your gas tank before the fuel indicator shows empty, you might be an Engineer. -If you turn on your computer before the room light when you get home after work, you might be an Engineer. -If you make use of Pythagorus' theory before cutting the birthday cake, you might be an Engineer. -If you use test equipment that's broken, you might be an Engineer. -If you talk about trellis code modulation at parties, you might be an engineer. -If you own one necktie, and it has soup stains on it, you might be an engineer. -If the first thing that wears out on your shirt is the pocket, you might be an engineer. -If you've ever replaced a missing screw on your eye glasses with yellow wire, you might be an engineer. -If your favorite television show is New Yankee Workshop, you might be an engineer. -If your wife hasn't the foggiest idea what you do at work, you might be an engineer. -If your kids refer to you as the man who sleeps with Mommie, you might be an engineer. -If you spent more on your home computer than your car, you might be an engineer. -If you know what http:/ stands for, you might be an engineer. -If you've ever tried to repair a $5.00 radio, you might be an engineer. -If you can't put any luggage in the trunk of your car because of the tool kit, jumper cables and spare parts, you might be an engineer. -If you cannot write unless the paper has both horizontal and vertical lines, you might be an engineer. -If your glasses hang off the end of your nose, you might be an engineer, -If your clothes look like the were packed on the inside of a football for 3 days before you put them on, you might be an engineer. -If you've seen every episode of Star Trek, you might be an engineer. -If your sneakers are different brands, you might be an engineer. -If your glasses are crooked on your face with tape in the middle, you might be an engineer. -If the inside of your car is blanketed with fast food containers, candy wrappers, soda cans, and apple cores, you might be an engineer. -If your girlfriend is your computer, you might be an engineer. -If the number of ink stains on your shirt pockets is equal to the number of shirts you own, you might be an engineer. -If your main hang out is a surplus electronics store, you might be an engineer. -If your (software) bug collection is larger than your 10 year old sons, you might be an engineer. -If You are known on a first name basis at McDonalds and Fry's Electronics, you might be an engineer. -If You have a harder time naming your new workstation than your children, you might be an engineer. -If Your best friends can only be reached by modem, you might be an engineer. -If You get suicidal when the power is out for more than 10 minutes, you might be an engineer. -If You know the altitude limits for turning on and off electronic equipment on commercial flights, you might be an engineer. -If Your favorite part of the 6 o clock news is comparing their latest satellite weather picture with yours, you might be an engineer. -If You order pizza over the internet and pay for it through your home banking software, you might be an engineer. -If You sign up for home banking even though you write only 5 checks a month and the service costs $19.95, you might be an engineer. -If You install flat panel displays on your walls at home, run screen saver software, and call it art, you might be an engineer. -If you're in the back seat of your car, she's looking wistfully at the moon, and you're trying to locate a synchronous satellite, you might be an engineer. -If your three year old son asks why the sky is blue and you actually try to explain, you might be an engineer. -If everyone else on the Alaskan cruise is on deck peering at the scenery, and you are still on a personal tour of the engine room, you might be an engineer. -If you're over 30 and can program the VCR, you might be an engineer. -If you remember half a dozen passwords and your ten digit Compuserve address, but you have to call your niece "kiddo", you might be an engineer. -If you already spent 2 hours unsuccessfully trying to assemble your kids new toy, but still refuse to read the instructions, you might be an engineer. -If you can understand anything Al Gore says, you might be an engineer. -If there are more project parts in your cubicle than there is on the project floor, you might be an engineer. -If you've already calculated how much you make per second, you might be an engineer. -If your bank code password is SPOCK, you might be an engineer. -If you do Darth Vader or Battlestar Gallactica impersonations by talking into a spinning fan, you might be an engineer. -If you walk around with your hands in your two front pockets 99% of the time, you might be an engineer. -If you bring home your work and explain it to your wife, even though she has no idea what you are talking about, you might be an engineer. - If you think a pocket protector is a fashion accessory, you might be an Engineer. - If you rearrange the dishwasher to maximize the packing factor, you might be an Engineer. - If you tell your spouse "I can fix that", even if you can't, you might be an Engineer. - If your child takes things apart because that's what Daddy does, you might be an Engineer. - If you reprimand your child because she destroyed your Lego creation, you might be an Engineer. - If you canot spel, you mite be an Enginer. -You might be an engineer if you spell engineer, INJUNEAR. -You might be an engineer if you have a college degree but get confused when trying to use a screwdriver. -If you have the centerfold from "Design News" magazine hanging in your office, you might be an Engineer. -If you are on the 24th floor balcony of the Hawaiian Hilton during a beautiful sunset and all you can think of is the fact the balcony was built by a guy with a big beer belly and only a high school education, you might be an Engineer. -If you go to the rides at Disneyland and sit backwards in the chairs to see how they do the special effects, you might be an Engineer. -If you find yourself at the airport on your vacation studying the baggage handling equipment, you might be an Engineer. -If your I.Q. number is bigger than your weight, you might be an Engineer. -If you casually mention what you do for a living and people's eyes glaze over, you might be an Engineer. -If you mention you are an engineer and people want to know what it is like driving that big old train, you might be an Engineer. -If you mention your career and the first thing people want to know is if you can set the clock on their VCR... and you CAN!, you might be an Engineer. -If the microphone or visual aids at a meeting don't work and you rush up to the front to fix it, you might be an Engineer. -If you can remember 7 computer passwords but not your anniversary, you might be an Engineer. -If you have memorized the program schedule for the discovery channel and have seen most of the shows already, you might be an Engineer. -If you have ever owned a calculator with no equal key and know what RPN stands for, you might be an Engineer. -If in college you thought spring break was a metal fatigue failure, you might be an Engineer. -If your father gives you a present and steals the directions, just to see how long it takes before you have it apart, to see how it works, you might be an Engineer. -If your father sat 2 inches in front of your family's first color TV with a huge magnifying lens to see how they made the colors. And you grew up thinking that was normal, you might be an Engineer. -If your girlfriend refuses to go to Hawaii with you unless you buy some white tennis shoes to replace the black ones, that don't match your white socks, you might be an Engineer. -If your software adds up to more than the cost of your car, you might be an Engineer. -If you think specs are not eyeglasses, you might be an Engineer. -If people accuse you of knowing how to build a watch, you might be an Engineer. -If you are at an airshow and know how fast the skydivers are falling, you might be an Engineer. -If your favorite place in San Francisco is the Exploratorium, you might be an Engineer. -If you have never lost a science question in trivial pursuit, you might be an Engineer. -If you know how to take the cover off of your computer, and what size screw driver to use, you might be an Engineer. -If your internet bill is larger than your long distance charges, you might be an Engineer. -If your favorite magazine is popular science, you might be an Engineer. -If you can type 70 words a minute but can't read your own handwriting, you might be an Engineer. -If you are in Scuba class and help the instructor calculate the pressure changes at depth, you might be an Engineer. -If you can't remember where you parked your car for the 3rd time this week, you might be an Engineer. -If people hound you for pocket protectors at Halloween time, you might be an Engineer. -If you did the sound system for your senior prom, you might be an Engineer. -If you know where every Fry's electronics stores is, and they gave you a frequent buyer's card, you might be an Engineer. -If you end up answering more customer questions at Fry's electronics than the salesmen, you might be an Engineer. -If your checkbook always balances, you might be an Engineer. -If you got to the electronics store and salesman asks you the questions, you might be an Engineer. -If your wristwatch has more buttons than a telephone, you might be an Engineer. -If you have more friends on the internet than in real life, you might be an Engineer. -If your favorite James Bond character is "Q", the guy who makes the gadgets, you might be an Engineer. -If you thought the real heroes of "Apollo 13" were the mission controllers, you might be an Engineer. -If you rooted for HAL, the computer in 2001, a Space Odyssey, you might be an Engineer. -If your wife has to hide the tool box every time you buy a new appliance so you won't take it apart to see how it works, you might be an Engineer. -If you have the internet on speed dial, you might be an Engineer. -If your dress clothes come from Sears, you might be an Engineer. -If you think your computer looks better without the cover, you might be an Engineer. -If you think that when people around you yawn, its because they didn't get enough sleep, you might be an Engineer. -If you are afraid to go to the bathroom at work in case you might miss the next two generations of computer technology, you might be an Engineer. -If you bought your wife a new CD-ROM for her anniversary, you might be an Engineer. -If you spent more on your calculator than on your wedding ring, you might be an Engineer. -If your favorite comic strip is Dilbert, you might be an Engineer. -If you have Dilbert cartoons as a screen savers, you might be an Engineer. -If you are wine tasting and find yourself paying more attention to the cork screws than the '84 Chardonnay, you might be an Engineer. -If you know all the last names of every Star Trek character, you might be an Engineer. -If instead of buying groceries, you end up buying software, you might be an Engineer. -If you control a locomotive, you are an engineer!!