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04-27-04 ·
Death comes to all of us. It will never be truly understood either. Death has been defined as both a start and an end of life. Those who believe that there is "life after death" believe that death is actually a "new beginning". Those who do not believe in "life after death" believe death is the "end".
When someone is killed by a natural disaster, it is believed to have met death too early in his/her life. It may be true but by that time it is too late anyhow. Those people that claim to talk to the "undead" or "spirits" are 99% chance to be a scam artist. Those types of scam-artists, like many scam-artists, should be killed for torturing people from the resulting scams. In other words, torturing the loved ones that the scam-artist claims to be helping. To give the false hope, as this type of scam-artist gives, is the worst thing to do to anyone especially if the person is that vulnerable.
Death is something many people can welcome. Many people either don't understand life or he/she is bored of his/her life. These types of should donate him/herself to science so that scientists can test theories on human test subjects, without any problems from the public. Where the person is tired with his/her life anyhow; it would be equal to the person ending his or her own life however science would be given a new test subject. If the person were to die because of the science experiment it would be shown as a failed experiment, however not murder due to the person was given to science for the experiment.
To sacrifice your own life is believed to be a way to be a peace finally. The problem is if the person is religious, in any form, the belief to take your own life is wrong and the person will go to "hell" due to this. I, personally, do not believe in any religion. I have considered ending my life on several occasions, however there was always something that came up to change my mind. I have been in a "dark" frame of mind for a long time and do not expect to leave it any time soon. The longer I look at the worst things in life, the better chance that I cannot be disappointed when something happens. I will always look at life negatively unless something/someone is able to change my views on life. Life is full of pain and destruction, which involves "death" one-way or the other. The only point to life, I can only see, is to experience the most painful things then die from them after time. The things that people say that you should live for such as "love" & "true happiness" are only illusions. I have yet to see anything of the sort that even comes close. I know I will never see it myself, or definitely won't fell it at all. I know these things as facts, and there is nothing that can change my mind on it. "Death" is the ultimate way to get out of it altogether. It is the only way I know that I will feel anything. My death is close; I can feel it. My family and friends will morn my death, however it is the only thing I can see in my future.
We will experience some form of death at some point in our lives. It is impossible for someone to not experience death in his/her lives because death always happens. Death will always happen because of the life that is all around us, especially in nature. An example of this is mice & snakes; a snake will eat (kill) a mouse because the mouse is food for the snake. This is a form of death, and this is something that is all around us. Nature is around us with all kinds of situations, like the one described above.
Death can be seen as an ended friendship/relationship. Most times when a friendship/relationship ends, both sides will feel badly about it. Where the friendship/relationship has ended, it is seen that the friendship/relationship has died. So in-turn, death has struck once again. If the friendship/relationship has ended but only one side is upset about it, then death seems to only want to go after one person right now. When a friendship/relationship ends, it normally takes a lot to cause enough pain to end something with so much trust involved, so death would be closer than you think in this type of case.
I can feel death being close to me. I feel this because there is a war that I will be involved with. With the war that I know is coming, I know that many friendships will end, and a lot of trust will be lost. I see the happiness that exists without this war, however the war still needs to come. I have been fighting a "losing battle" with myself, and soon others will see this fight in the proper light. The war will come shortly after because the war cannot be avoided. Death is near because the war is coming, and there is nothing to stop it.
I have dealt with my situation to the best of my abilities, however the war must come for me to feel normal again. I do not what has happened to me in the past and I will not stand for it any longer. I have been doing more sacrifices than anyone realizes, and I will no longer sacrifice. My sacrifices will end and a war will start, as a result of my actions. I will have this war happen when I stop sacrificing for other people. The only one that wins out of all of this is death. Death will benefit from this war because there will be a lot of ended friendships/relationships. There will be a lot of destruction within the community, and everyone will be taking a side in the war.
There will be many people that will try to stay neutral throughout the war, however there is no true way to do that in this war. This war has the ability to destroy 3 counties, and the war will stretch probably further. I will be the direct root for this war, however I will be finally ending my sacrifices. I will no longer allow what has happened to happen any more. Time is a crucial thing in this war. Time is against me now, and as more time passes, I seem to be fighting against time.
The longer it takes for this war to start, the worse that it will be when the war starts. I know that I am in a conflict with myself every day that passes. I have been fighting with myself when it comes to the loyalties to the friendships that will be involved in the war, and the need to end my own sacrifices. These things are fighting against one another constantly, lately. I have pictures of the happiness in one of the friendships, and I also know of the hidden past that no one knows about. I have a sense of happiness when I think of the times that the pictures were taken, however I also have been repressing the emotions that are involved with the past. This is a constant conflict between my sanity and myself. I am no longer able to sacrifice my sanity for the specific friendship. It is sad to say because there will be a war to come out of all this. So death will be the one that wins out of all this.
When it comes time for the end to start, the war will be extremely close to be seen by everyone. A lot of people know me because of the people I am around in public. Some people know me because of my family, and the different connections that they have in the community and surrounding areas. The rest of the people know me through the things I did in school, and the type of person I was in school. Whether it dealt with the sports, or the odd bit of helpfulness that I would do for some people, the public began to see me through the school. Those that do not know me directly, will know me through the parts of my family that is still in school.
It is unfortunate to know that there will be a lot of death to be involved with my family/friends and myself soon. There will be a lot of death because the friendships that will be destroyed due to this war will not be able to be fixed. Death will triumph over these friendships and cause too much pain & suffering during the war, for the friendships to ever to be regained again. Although all friendships have a basis of trust involved when the friendship is created, that trust could be destroyed just as easily as it was created.
I do feel awful when I think about how many innocents that will be effected by this war. There will be many people that will have his/her friendships end because of the family-relation to either side of this war. Where I will be in a war with a family that I consider to be a "clan", I can honestly say that there are a lot of innocents that will be affected. It will be impossible, in my opinion, for someone to be neutral in this war. I can say this because of the special circumstances that are involved in this war. When a person sees both sides of the war, it will be impossible to stay neutral. There will be many people that will try to restore some peace during the war, however each of them will not be able to stay neutral.
The reason for this war will be because war is the natural thing to happen when trust has been destroyed between people. This war will be between a specific person and myself. The specific person's family may be involved which will cause it to become a bigger war than it needs to be. The problem is that I also believe that his/her family already knows about the secret, and helped to hide it from the public. This is why I believe that specific family has been so nice to my family and me for the time that they have been. If this were to be true, then my family would be involved into the war. When/if this happens, there will be no chance to have a neutral standing. It will be a war that will take time to have end, due to the extremities of the situation involved.
Death will come to the community if this war gets too far out of hand. There is no telling where this war will go because I am still unsure about when this war will start. My true nature is to make everyone happy without hurting others in the process. For me to keep everyone happy, I have been hurting myself. I didn't hurt other people when I began to hurt myself; this is why my true nature continued to continue.
There is a time for everything, and this war is no exception. There is a time and place for this war to start, and there will be a time to have it end. I will protect all that I believe need protecting during the start of this war, and many people will learn that I am not a person that you want as an enemy. These people that the war will be with will be the first to realize that I will only do what I feel is right. I will protect myself by releasing this war into the community. When the community, in the true light that it will be in, sees this war I will be seen as a victim by some and an aggressor by others. There will be no neutral people in this war because the war will be a question of the morals of any given person. This is why being neutral cannot exist.
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