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I have been to a few weddings in the past couple of years. A wedding to me use to seem like just another expensive thing that religion made up and has had the governments to hold up for them, however now I see weddings differently. I see them as a source of happiness for the ones getting married and for those that are around them too. Those that have already been married, and are at the wedding, almost always have his/her emotions stirred during the wedding ceremony. Many women at any wedding seems to have tears in their eyes because of their happiness for those that are getting married, and some women also have tears in their eyes because they are sad to see a person that they have known for so long becoming part of a new family (one that they get to start on their own). There are also men at weddings that have tears in their eyes for the same reasons as the women, however there are fewer due to the fact that most men have been taught to hold in all emotions as much as possible or else it is seen as a weakness of that man.
I can honestly say that due to the wedding that I was a part of just a bit ago has changed my entire look at the whole wedding thing. The emotional impact that weddings do to people is still something that I have been having difficulties. Those that are at the dance that is after the reception for the wedding seem to be more free willing, and it is confusing to me. The only thing that I can think of how to describe my understanding of everything is that the emotional stress (happiness or sadness) of the wedding/reception is out-weighed by the free willingness at the dance that follows.
Then of course you have the opening of the wedding presents, which follows on the next morning, usually. So that everyone can be with the bride and groom once more before the honeymoon actually starts. For those that were partying all night long, even after the dance was over, those people seem to have all the energy in the world. Even the little children that didn't last all of the night seem to have as much (if not more) energy as those that were partying all night long. I can honestly say that during the weekend for the wedding I personally had approximately 10.5 - 11 hours of sleep between the 2 nights combined (Friday & Saturday nights). It seems like you can last a little bit longer than what you could normally due to the importance of the wedding, and the other things that join to it. I can honestly say also that I had approximately 11.5 - 12 hours of sleep last night because I found I was exhausted when I started to leave to go home. I am still feeling some of the exhaustion even today after that amount of sleep.
For a person like myself, which blocks approximately 90% - 95% of my emotions, weddings have the strength to knock down a few of the mental barriers that help block out the emotions. I believe that the exhaustion I am feeling is something to deal with the mental barriers being knocked down and me trying to not express the emotions still without the metal barriers. A combination of lack of sleep and the fewer mental barriers has really taken its toll on myself. I am not sure if there are any others that are exhausted however I didn't know I was exhausted until I went for gas and almost run over the pumps.
This past wedding has stirred some of my emotions that I have buried for a long time, and it is causing me a lot of confusion on how to act now. I have proven that although I seem like a cold-hearted non-sensitive person, I can be a nice person at the same time (this past wedding is the first time I have showed my nice side in a long time). Many people were surprised with the wedding present that I had given to the bride and groom. I surprised everyone a little bit more when I showed I was also good with children too. I showed a side of myself during the weekend that I do not allow others to see because I do not feel comfortable with myself if I show that side of myself. I prefer to be seen as an emotionless person, than as a person with a kind heart. I believe that I cannot joke around with people if they see that side of me. It is really rare to see that side of me, and I don't expect to see that side of me any time soon either.
Hopefully the next wedding I go to helps me understand more about weddings in a positive way so that I can be more prepared when mine ever comes along.
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